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Approaching a Sister's father for marriage.

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  • Approaching a Sister's father for marriage.

    ASalaamualaikum

    Okay, this was probably asked before but here goes...

    Someone recommended a sister with good morals and habits etc and on deen

    However this person wants me to approach her dad and I just cant...

    What do I say??


  • #2
    Walaikum asalaam

    Do you know the father? You could get the person who recommended the sister to you to tell the girls father about you. Once you know the girl's father is aware that you are interested you can ring him based on what his response is to the person who is recommending you.

    You could get an elder member from your family to contact her dad. If you don't know the dad he will obviously want to know how you got his details. 

    I think the person recommending the sister should mention you to the father if he/she knows him. They can tell the dad about you and see if the father wants to talk to you. 



     

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Mintchocchip View Post
      Walaikum asalaam

      Do you know the father? You could get the person who recommended the sister to you to tell the girls father about you. Once you know the girl's father is aware that you are interested you can ring him based on what his response is to the person who is recommending you.

      You could get an elder member from your family to contact her dad. If you don't know the dad he will obviously want to know how you got his details.¬

      I think the person recommending the sister should mention you to the father if he/she knows him. They can tell the dad about you and see if the father wants to talk to you.¬



      ¬
      The referrer is an elderly lady at work... she knows the girl but, not her dad.

      I don't have a dad and my mum doesn't hear well

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Eijaz Koor View Post

        The referrer is an elderly lady at work... she knows the girl but, not her dad.

        I don't have a dad and my mum doesn't hear well
        Is the sister actively looking for a husband at the moment? Why don't you ask this lady to mention you to the sister and her Wali? Once you get the green light arrange a meeting with the father.

        If the above for some reason is not possible, then just contact the father and give it a try. Worse case scenario is he'll say no and you move on.

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        • #5
          Suck it up and ask him. You are the man here bro. Okay you're nervous but that's fine. Write what you want to say to him on a piece of paper and practice it in front of a mirror like an interview. Prepare yourself mentally and then go and ask. You can do it insha'Allah. 

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          • #6
            Your approach is really going to depend on the temperament of the father.

            Comment


            • #7
              In our tradition we send a middle man to ask the father firstly if the daughter is available and secondly give some info on you. If the father is interested then you and the middle man will go back and meet him.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Eijaz Koor View Post

                The referrer is an elderly lady at work... she knows the girl but, not her dad.

                I don't have a dad and my mum doesn't hear well
                Does the girl know about you? Get the girl to mention you to her dad or mum and mention the elderly lady too so they know how you two know about each other. Use the elderly lady as the middle person if you can. 

                Once you know what her and her dads response is then if it is positive phone the dad yourself and arrange a meeting. 

                Ask Allah swt to make it easy for you and to give you the courage.

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                • #9
                  Jazak-Allah for your responses.

                  Turns out we share a common Sheikh/Mufti so I sent a message (via elder) that the sister (as she mentioned to the Sheikh that he must keep an eye out for her) to ask the Sheikh about me.

                  He knows about my divorce and even advised me not to continue in that miserable marriage.

                  This way she can get answers to the concerns she may have regarding my divorce and her father will also be at ease.

                  Requesting Duas

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Eijaz Koor View Post
                    Jazak-Allah for your responses.

                    Turns out we share a common Sheikh/Mufti so I sent a message (via elder) that the sister (as she mentioned to the Sheikh that he must keep an eye out for her) to ask the Sheikh about me.

                    He knows about my divorce and even advised me not to continue in that miserable marriage.

                    This way she can get answers to the concerns she may have regarding my divorce and her father will also be at ease.

                    Requesting Duas
                    You're the member "Ekoor".

                     

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Indefinable View Post

                      You're the member "Ekoor".

                      ¬
                      Yes...

                      That account doesn't allow me to log in so I created this one...

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        This sister really isn't what they said she is.

                        Allah protect us.

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                        • #13
                          Time to move on!
                          Pray. Fast. Zakat. Pilgrimage. Allah.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Eijaz Koor View Post
                            This sister really isn't what they said she is.

                            Allah protect us.
                            Alhumdulillah you found out and ameen to the dua.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Al-Mualim View Post
                              Time to move on!
                              True and request duas

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