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Guidance on Proposal

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  • Guidance on Proposal

    Aoa,

    I need some guidance regarding a certain proposal. What if everything about a proposal you receive is so perfect that you have doubts?

    A proposal I received recently is beyond perfection (or at least it seems that way after meeting him and from what other people have been saying).

    His mother told my mother that she made dua for a month before contacting my family for my hand in marriage. Their family and the boy came for dinner and I was given the chance to meet him and talk to him. Alhamdulliah, this brother is exceptional in both spiritual and worldly matters - he prays 5 times a day, recites the Qur'an, is extremely witty, is a doctor, loves children (I kid you not, this man exists!) but something about him is not letting me accept him - I cannot visualise him as my partner. I doubt that I am not good enough for him.

    Currently, I am doing istikhara - there are times I am content with marrying this man but there are other times where instead of making dua for myself and him, I am making dua he finds another girl who is a million times better than me. I feel like i am cheating on him or something? Or life is cheating on him?

    When I told my mother this, she thought I was insane and gave me the whole "how could this be a reason to turn someone down?" lecture; she has been trying to reassure me that I am also the perfect girl but my self confidence is reaching an all time low.

    How does one stop doubting (is there a prayer for this?) or is my doubting a sign that I should say no?

  • #2
    edit 
    Last edited by Layla_; 19-11-19, 09:58 AM.
    https://islamicgemsandpearls.wordpress.com

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    • #3
      If he likes you and wants to marry you then don’t think this way. Have confidence, he asked for you for a reason. clearly he saw things in you that he liked.

      Shaytan is trying to make you turn down a good thing. Don’t let it get to you.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Layla_ View Post
        edit¬
        Hey, is this regarding the other proposal (initial one about looks on the other thread: https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/fa...e-advice/page4)? I wasn't sure whether to continue that one or start a new one considering this was a different proposal and i didn't want it to get confusing?

        Anyway, thank you for your response on the other one - I realised how stupid I was lol

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        • #5
          Originally posted by aelmo View Post
          If he likes you and wants to marry you then don’t think this way. Have confidence, he asked for you for a reason. clearly he saw things in you that he liked.

          Shaytan is trying to make you turn down a good thing. Don’t let it get to you.
          Thanks, perhaps you're right and should show more confidence. I know I should be grateful that God sent someone like this to me but instead I am being doubtful and ahh yh idk pray for me pls, jazakallah.

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          • #6
            The longer shaytaan prevents you from marriage the longer you will have to chat to other guys and go through this process.

            Allah has a high opinion of you and sent you someone who He sees fit.

            Be grateful to Allah

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            • #7
              If you feel that you're not confident because of your looks then ... Allah has made your face and body. On the day of judgement your face and body will change depending on your deeds. The reality is that we are all soul placed inside a body. If I wear a red shirt today and blue shirt tommorow then I am the person not the shirt.
              If you feel low on confidence because maybe you are not intelligent then know that Allah is the best of guiders. By supplicating to him he will guide you. People always make the mistake that whatever they have accomplished is "their" achievement. The power inside of your brain is the power of Allah. If someone can solve a very difficult problem then one must ask .... Where did that ground breaking thought in the brain come from? It came from Allah.
                    If someone makes you feel you are not good enough for them then it's their fault for being arrogant. If however you yourself feel low about yourself then also it's a fault of the nafs. You associate achievement to yourself whereas La hawla wa La Quvata illa billAh. No power except Allah.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by shehbazthakur View Post
                If you feel that you're not confident because of your looks then ... Allah has made your face and body. On the day of judgement your face and body will change depending on your deeds. The reality is that we are all soul placed inside a body. If I wear a red shirt today and blue shirt tommorow then I am the person not the shirt.
                If you feel low on confidence because maybe you are not intelligent then know that Allah is the best of guiders. By supplicating to him he will guide you. People always make the mistake that whatever they have accomplished is "their" achievement. The power inside of your brain is the power of Allah. If someone can solve a very difficult problem then one must ask .... Where did that ground breaking thought in the brain come from? It came from Allah.
                ¬¬† ¬¬† ¬¬† If someone makes you feel you are not good enough for them then it's their fault for being arrogant. If however you yourself feel low about yourself then also it's a fault of the nafs. You associate achievement to yourself whereas La hawla wa La Quvata illa billAh. No power except Allah.
                Thank you, this is great! Jazakallah

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