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Can I make dua to marry someone who’s already engaged to someone else?

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  • Can I make dua to marry someone who’s already engaged to someone else?

    Assalamalaikum brothers and sisters,
    i need some advice, I am female in my early 20s and want to get married. I like someone but his family have arranged his marriage else where. I felt I received some signs from Allah SWT that he is the right person for me. I don’t want to talk about what those signs are and I can’t be fully sure if they mean anything as only Allah knows best. I asked this question on another Islamic website and they advised to forget about this person and not to make dua to marry him and said that it’s a sin as his marriage has already been arranged elsewhere and he might be getting married soon. I explained this to myself and understood that I need to forget about him but every few days I get the urge to make dua to marry him, it doesn’t feel like it’s a sin to me. I get a feeling in my heart that I should ask Allah SWT for him as I feel I am a better match for him than his fiancť and will be better for his Deen. I have prayed to Allah SWT to help me forget him and did istikhara several times, asking for guidance that should I forget him. But still I get the feeling in my heart that I should keep asking for him. So would I be committing a sin if I make dua to marry him? I don’t pray anything bad of course such as ‘I hope his engagement breaks’ but indirectly of course by praying that I should marry him, I’m hoping that his engagement breaks up and he marries me.¬†

  • #2
    Originally posted by san66 View Post
    Assalamalaikum brothers and sisters,
    i need some advice, I am female in my early 20s and want to get married. I like someone but his family have arranged his marriage else where. I felt I received some signs from Allah SWT that he is the right person for me. I don’t want to talk about what those signs are and I can’t be fully sure if they mean anything as only Allah knows best. I asked this question on another Islamic website and they advised to forget about this person and not to make dua to marry him and said that it’s a sin as his marriage has already been arranged elsewhere and he might be getting married soon. I explained this to myself and understood that I need to forget about him but every few days I get the urge to make dua to marry him, it doesn’t feel like it’s a sin to me. I get a feeling in my heart that I should ask Allah SWT for him as I feel I am a better match for him than his fiancť and will be better for his Deen. I have prayed to Allah SWT to help me forget him and did istikhara several times, asking for guidance that should I forget him. But still I get the feeling in my heart that I should keep asking for him. So would I be committing a sin if I make dua to marry him? I don’t pray anything bad of course such as ‘I hope his engagement breaks’ but indirectly of course by praying that I should marry him, I’m hoping that his engagement breaks up and he marries me.¬
    well technically he can marry her, you and two others, so I cannot see any sin in you making duaa to marry him. Does he know that you exist even? I mean is this someone that you know of someone that you just like the look of from a afar? I will say that it can be easy to get fixated on someone that you think is perfect but Allah swt knows better than us. Something similar happened to me. It was the first proposal and I thought he was absolutely amazing (in my defence I was very young!) After the first meeting I had picked out our children's names and designed our purpose built house in my head....My dad met him and didn't like him and that was the end of that. I saw other brothers but didn't want to get married until he did just in case....I was gutted when I heard he was getting married but I just made duaa for him to have a happy marriage and for Allah to give me something better. Allah swt knows what is best for us, even when we think we know. This is one of the beautiful things about imaan billah, we make istikhara and whatever is best will happen and He will make us content.

    Comment


    • #3
      If his engagement breaks, how would you get yourself in the picture or were you two involved in some way before e.g. "friends"

      Comment


      • #4
        Oh dear.

        Comment


        • #5



          Well.

          I'm an honest person so I have to say, this sounds quite terrible.

          Drop it sis, drop the mic and move on. The unnecessary stress and fantasising over someone that isn't yours, sounds a bit obsessive.

          The other lady, poor woman, she's probably praying to Allah for a successful marriage with no other women in the scene.

          Here you are, praying, let me have him, let me have him. Lol

          Scary. Really scary.

          Don't worry, you will get over it in Sha Allah. Keep your eyes off him, lower your gaze and clear your head.


          ​​​​You should be happy for others. Make dua Allah gives you a good husband.
          'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

          So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by san66 View Post
            Assalamalaikum brothers and sisters,
            i need some advice, I am female in my early 20s and want to get married. I like someone but his family have arranged his marriage else where. I felt I received some signs from Allah SWT that he is the right person for me. I don’t want to talk about what those signs are and I can’t be fully sure if they mean anything as only Allah knows best. I asked this question on another Islamic website and they advised to forget about this person and not to make dua to marry him and said that it’s a sin as his marriage has already been arranged elsewhere and he might be getting married soon. I explained this to myself and understood that I need to forget about him but every few days I get the urge to make dua to marry him, it doesn’t feel like it’s a sin to me. I get a feeling in my heart that I should ask Allah SWT for him as I feel I am a better match for him than his fiancť and will be better for his Deen. I have prayed to Allah SWT to help me forget him and did istikhara several times, asking for guidance that should I forget him. But still I get the feeling in my heart that I should keep asking for him. So would I be committing a sin if I make dua to marry him? I don’t pray anything bad of course such as ‘I hope his engagement breaks’ but indirectly of course by praying that I should marry him, I’m hoping that his engagement breaks up and he marries me.¬
            I am guessing he doesn't feels same about you, if he was why is he marrying someone else? how do you know you will be better than his fiancť? when you don't know her, if you feel you getting signs from Allah(Most High) that he is the right person for you why isn't Allah marrying you to that person when Allah is All-Powerful able to do all things, maybe you should stop watching disney movies. It is embarrassing, your behaving like a confused teenager, grow up! its also wrong to make dua when his engaged with someone else.

            Comment


            • #7
              Erm. I thought this was a male asking about a girl.

              We are Muslims. He can have more than one wife.

              I don't see how this is even a question.
              You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

              You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

              Comment


              • #8
                Did this brother tell you himself that he's been forced into his present engagement and if it were to break somehow, he'd marry you ?

                If not, stop unnecessarily wasting time by picturing an ideal situation for yourselves.

                Let me tell you of an incident. X fancied Y and wanted to marry Y but Y was married to someone else. So, X made lots of duas for the marriage of Y to break down and it did. But then, Y did not marry X and got married to someone else. Dejected, X also married somebody else but X's own marriage did not last long.

                Make duas for your own happiness, sister but not at the cost of somebody else's unhappiness. Or else it will come back to you in another form

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by ~TwinklingStar~ View Post
                  Did this brother tell you himself that he's been forced into his present engagement and if it were to break somehow, he'd marry you ?

                  If not, stop unnecessarily wasting time by picturing an ideal situation for yourselves.

                  Let me tell you of an incident. X fancied Y and wanted to marry Y but Y was married to someone else. So, X made lots of duas for the marriage of Y to break down and it did. But then, Y did not marry X and got married to someone else. Dejected, X also married somebody else but X's own marriage did not last long.

                  Make duas for your own happiness, sister but not at the cost of somebody else's unhappiness. Or else it will come back to you in another form
                  Did someone really pray for another person's marriage to break down?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Linkdeutscher View Post
                    Erm. I thought this was a male asking about a girl.

                    We are Muslims. He can have more than one wife.

                    I don't see how this is even a question.

                    Lol

                    It's says in the op 'i'm a female'

                    she wants someone that's already taken and as far as polygamy is concerned, she's not interested in that because she wants the other couple's marriage to break
                    ‚€‹‚€‹‚€‹‚€‹‚€‹‚€‹‚€
                    ‚€‹‚€‹‚€‹‚€‹‚€‹‚€‹‚€it's not right, however people put it

                    I hope you stop making these duas OP, and like I said, keep your eyes off someone who isn't yours

                    ‚€‹‚€‹‚€‹‚€‹‚€‹‚€‹‚€Put yourself in the girl's shoes, how would you feel? You are so desperate now, just imagine knowing someone is thinking about your husband like this


                    I'm not even engaged to him, don't even know the man but I feel strongly against this

                    It is selfish, there is no justification for any of it.

                    I don't want to say you are young, usually we excuse the young by using their age. It isn't right.

                    in Sha Allah you will learn from this.

                    You came on here after posting this on another forum and now you have your answers
                     


                     
                    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Deleted.
                      Last edited by oshirowanen; 15-11-19, 02:38 PM.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post


                        Lol

                        It's says in the op 'i'm a female'

                        she wants someone that's already taken and as far as polygamy is concerned, she's not interested in that because she wants the other couple's marriage to break
                        ‚€‹‚€‹‚€‹‚€‹‚€‹‚€‹‚€
                        ‚€‹‚€‹‚€‹‚€‹‚€‹‚€‹‚€it's not right, however people put it

                        I hope you stop making these duas OP, and like I said, keep your eyes off someone who isn't yours

                        ‚€‹‚€‹‚€‹‚€‹‚€‹‚€‹‚€Put yourself in the girl's shoes, how would you feel? You are so desperate now, just imagine knowing someone is thinking about your husband like this


                        I'm not even engaged to him, don't even know the man but I feel strongly against this

                        It is selfish, there is no justification for any of it.

                        I don't want to say you are young, usually we excuse the young by using their age. It isn't right.

                        in Sha Allah you will learn from this.

                        You came on here after posting this on another forum and now you have your answers
                        ¬


                        ¬
                        You’re right, I didn’t ever think about how that girl would feel. I only thought about my own feelings. In my defence, I didn’t know this person was engaged when I first started to like him. Now I know, I don’t pray for him anymore. I only pray that Allah SWT will help me to forget him quickly and grant me whoever is better for me.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Hancerli2
                          Hehe, imagine killing someone by looking
                          Seriously don’t know where this is going, I have no idea what you’re talking about

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by UmmAbdullah86 View Post

                            well technically he can marry her, you and two others, so I cannot see any sin in you making duaa to marry him. Does he know that you exist even? I mean is this someone that you know of someone that you just like the look of from a afar? I will say that it can be easy to get fixated on someone that you think is perfect but Allah swt knows better than us. Something similar happened to me. It was the first proposal and I thought he was absolutely amazing (in my defence I was very young!) After the first meeting I had picked out our children's names and designed our purpose built house in my head....My dad met him and didn't like him and that was the end of that. I saw other brothers but didn't want to get married until he did just in case....I was gutted when I heard he was getting married but I just made duaa for him to have a happy marriage and for Allah to give me something better. Allah swt knows what is best for us, even when we think we know. This is one of the beautiful things about imaan billah, we make istikhara and whatever is best will happen and He will make us content.
                            jazakAllah khair sister, thank you for being understanding and for the good advice ❤️

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Salaam sister,

                              First of all. I think you are very brave to share your story here. I know people can be cruel. I think it’s best to move forward. Maybe he isn’t written to be your half. “What is coming is better than what is gone”

                              I have fallen in love once in my life and I am still madly in love with the same person for almost 15 years ( never told him) I’m 24 now. Ofcourse it started as a childhood crush and deloped into love over the years. I used to pray and make dua every day and night for us to end up together. Now that I’m older just a few months ago I accepted that I have to move on and accept that it’s probably not the qadr of Allah. I always hoped for the impossible as he is Shia and I’m Sunni. You can wait for years even if he is already married you probably still have that hope. We are human! But sister let it go. Allah has a better plan for you! I know it’s hard cuz the heart wants what it wants but with time you will get there! Khair in sha Allah!

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