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  • Non-muslim wife wants my child convert to non-muslim religion

    My wife was my childhood sweetheart and been together almost our entire life. We got married only by papers, since we had a child before getting married and she does not want to get married in Islam as she does not want to convert to Islam. I just need help with my child. he is 3 weeks old, and my wife would like him to be baptized to a non-muslim religion after we baptize him as Muslim, Islam. or the other way around, Muslim to Non-muslim baptisms. Is this allowed? or would I allow her? I need help if there is any scholars here. please I am begging for your right answer and options. thank you :(

  • #2
    So, finally your eyes have been opened and you decide it's time to consult a scholar ... when your non-Muslim "wife" decides to baptize your child into a non-Muslim ??

    Did you bother to consult a scholar to ask whether it is allowed to have a non-Muslim childhood sweetheart ? Whether you're allowed to fornicate with her ? Whether it's okay to impregnate her ? Whether your marriage would be valid if you marry her after impregnating her?

    What can a scholar do for you now ? They do not possess a magic wand that'll wipe out all the wrong you've done in your life. It's not like your wife is bound to implement any advice they offer anyway.

    Comment


    • #3
      Assalaamu alaikum,

      Firstly, repent and get an Islamic marriage, the nikah. You are in this situation anyway so I'd tag the forum's scholar Abu Mus'ab whether this is permissible. Marrying Christian and Jewish women who don't do zina and practice their faith is permissible but not encouraged.

      So I'd wait for that scholar to explain your options regarding moving forward for an official Islamic marriage with your partner.

      Just repent and do good deeds. Do salat on time, read qur'an and ponder on its meanings and why Allah made you a Muslim. I hope you understand that Islam itself is a blessing.

      Whats done has been done so just repent and ponder on your existence and your end goals out of living - its not just eating, sleeping and working, is it?

      While we wait for the sheikh Abu Mus'ab just think of ways to repent to and turn to your Creator from this.
      وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

      And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


      أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

      Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


      Please take a look at my travel booking website : https://destinationfindertravel.com/

      Please take a look at my blog : http://thinkingmuslima.blogspot.co.uk/

      Comment


      • #4
        I seek for help, not to be judged. So what's your advice? leave my wife and my kid? push her to convert to Islam? As Muslim we have to work hard to give knowledge about Islam and be patient towards our wife. You know nothing, so backoff. May Allah forgive me, but for what I am after is an advice from a Scholar, not from from someone who has a crooked mind and a crooked rib. whatever.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by LailaTheMuslim View Post
          Assalaamu alaikum,

          Firstly, repent and get an Islamic marriage, the nikah. You are in this situation anyway so I'd tag the forum's scholar Abu Mus'ab whether this is permissible. Marrying Christian and Jewish women who don't do zina and practice their faith is permissible but not encouraged.

          So I'd wait for that scholar to explain your options regarding moving forward for an official Islamic marriage with your partner.

          Just repent and do good deeds. Do salat on time, read qur'an and ponder on its meanings and why Allah made you a Muslim. I hope you understand that Islam itself is a blessing.

          Whats done has been done so just repent and ponder on your existence and your end goals out of living - its not just eating, sleeping and working, is it?

          While we wait for the sheikh Abu Mus'ab just think of ways to repent to and turn to your Creator from this.
          Thank you LailaTheMuslim. I pray 5 times a day and always asking for forgiveness and praying to give my wife the path to Islam. inshaallah. it's been hard for us for the past 15 years that we have been together.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Omushe View Post
            I seek for help, not to be judged. So what's your advice? leave my wife and my kid? push her to convert to Islam? As Muslim we have to work hard to give knowledge about Islam and be patient towards our wife. You know nothing, so backoff. May Allah forgive me, but for what I am after is an advice from a Scholar, not from from someone who has a crooked mind and a crooked rib. whatever.
            Now brother, thats not a very nice thing to say. Just apologise and I ask Allah to reconcile the believers and to grant you and your family guidance. Its good to want a fresh start. Let the scholar come online in sha Allah.


            I'm gonna link this post to his whatsapp in sha Allah.
            وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

            And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


            أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

            Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


            Please take a look at my travel booking website : https://destinationfindertravel.com/

            Please take a look at my blog : http://thinkingmuslima.blogspot.co.uk/

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by ~TwinklingStar~ View Post
              So, finally your eyes have been opened and you decide it's time to consult a scholar ... when your non-Muslim "wife" decides to baptize your child into a non-Muslim ??

              Did you bother to consult a scholar to ask whether it is allowed to have a non-Muslim childhood sweetheart ? Whether you're allowed to fornicate with her ? Whether it's okay to impregnate her ? Whether your marriage would be valid if you marry her after impregnating her?

              What can a scholar do for you now ? They do not possess a magic wand that'll wipe out all the wrong you've done in your life. It's not like your wife is bound to implement any advice they offer anyway.
              I seek for help, not to be judged. So what's your advice? leave my wife and my kid? push her to convert to Islam? As Muslim we have to work hard to give knowledge about Islam and be patient towards our wife. You know nothing, so backoff. May Allah forgive me, but for what I am after is an advice from a Scholar, not from from someone who has a crooked mind and a crooked rib. whatever.

              Comment


              • #8
                By all means keep your child into the religion of Islam, do whatever it takes to keep him in the Deen.

                Do some lifestyle changes in the interest of the child, so that he grows into a practising Muslim, inshaAllah. Ameen.

                Hope that helps.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Oh yes, and to answer your question, no it is not permissible for her to have your child baptized.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Shakeela View Post
                    By all means keep your child into the religion of Islam, do whatever it takes to keep him in the Deen.

                    Do some lifestyle changes in the interest of the child, so that he grows into a practising Muslim, inshaAllah. Ameen.

                    Hope that helps.
                    Thank you Shakeela.

                    My wife does not have any issue with me practicing Islam with my child. She does not have problem with me baptizing my child as Muslim and grow as Muslim, but she wanted to baptize him to Non-muslim reilgion as well which is I am finding it not really right. she said he know someone who had done it and she believes it is all okay.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Shakeela View Post
                      Oh yes, and to answer your question, no it is not permissible for her to have your child baptized.
                      That's what I am telling her but she is pushing it and she keeps on crying and I do not know what to do. My child will be a muslim, no question to that, but baptizing him to both religions is really my problem. We are both depressed and my baby still hasn't baptized until now. May Allah help me.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Omushe View Post
                        My wife was my childhood sweetheart and been together almost our entire life. We got married only by papers, since we had a child before getting married and she does not want to get married in Islam as she does not want to convert to Islam. I just need help with my child. he is 3 weeks old, and my wife would like him to be baptized to a non-muslim religion after we baptize him as Muslim, Islam. or the other way around, Muslim to Non-muslim baptisms. Is this allowed? or would I allow her? I need help if there is any scholars here. please I am begging for your right answer and options. thank you :(
                        I'm not a scholar, but the following (which is from a scholar) seems to answer a question similar to yours.

                        https://islamqa.info/en/answers/1074...-son-in-church

                        The main difference between your situtation and the situation in the answer in the link is that it is talking about a situation where the couple are Islamically married. In your situation, you're not Islamically married. Which means that at the moment, you are in a fornication situation.

                        Here is a reply from a scholar regarding fornication:

                        https://islamqa.info/en/answers/1752...ut-of-patience
                        Last edited by oshirowanen; 22-10-19, 01:44 PM.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by oshirowanen View Post

                          I'm not a scholar, but the following (which is from a scholar) seems to answer a question similar (if not identical) to yours:

                          https://islamqa.info/en/answers/1074...-son-in-church
                          Thank you soo much oshirowanen!! that's a relief! so baptizing my child as Non-muslim is Okay, but leaving my child to practicing non-islamic teachings is something I must never do, right?

                          Well, I will never leave my child and we will practice Islamic laws and teachings inshaallah. I just dont want my child to have a broken family. If there is anyone here that has different opinions from different scholars, please, let me know.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Omushe View Post

                            Thank you soo much oshirowanen!! that's a relief! so baptizing my child as Non-muslim is Okay, but leaving my child to practicing non-islamic teachings is something I must never do, right?

                            Well, I will never leave my child and we will practice Islamic laws and teachings inshaallah. I just dont want my child to have a broken family. If there is anyone here that has different opinions from different scholars, please, let me know.
                            The link doesn't say it's okay, it says the child won't be a christian just because he is baptised. If you let her baptise him now, what'll prevent her from putting him through further christian practices in the future? She could even use this as a base to argue in future with "you let me baptise him so this is also fine..." etc...

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Eh? You start caring about Islam and preserving the Deen now? A bit late there bud.

                              Comment

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