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Intellectually & emotionally compatible but OK deen vs strong deen but not 2 comp'ble

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  • #16
    This is really good:

    https://youtu.be/_eskYHRljOA

    What do we say about a person whose character is good but doesn't pray?

    Maybe we should get it translated for benefit.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

      from your thread you made before and this

      the bare minimum is not hard to find. Your just not looking in the right place or havent asked the right people.

      plus things like age, ethnicity, height, education, caste make things complicated and long


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      • #18
        Some will some wont
        There are mosques that have actual services or help people such as elm, masjid tawheed in leyton and tarbiya in stoke newington and research into other big masjids
        i think palmers green and regents park help out or have services sometimes as well

        Some people you click with some you dont
        even alot of practising brothers want a wife who will work nowadays the 'dual income' trend
        Blame feminists for that aswell

        Youl need to go for someone whos really old school or is religious to the point where he wont want his wife working or knows its her right not to work
        Last edited by Abu julaybeeb; 09-06-19, 04:55 AM.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

          Some will some wont
          There are mosques that have actual services or help people such as elm, masjid tawheed in leyton and tarbiya in stoke newington and research into other big masjids
          i think palmers green and regents park help out or have services sometimes as well

          Some people you click with some you dont
          even alot of practising brothers want a wife who will work nowadays the 'dual income' trend

          Youl need to go for someone whos really old school or is religious to the point where he wont want his wife working or knows its her right not to work

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          • #20
            Lol people barely look into their deen. Most dont know marital rights. Ive spoked to people who didnt thats just the norm today most dont know. And another thing is actually implementing those rights.

            well yes ofc you need a wali but that could be your brother when it comes to those services. Are you saying your brother wont help. If possible get him to tag along and see

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            • #21
              Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

              Lol people barely look into their deen. Most dont know marital rights. Ive spoked to people who didnt thats just the norm today most dont know. And another thing is actually implementing those rights.

              well yes ofc you need a wali but that could be your brother when it comes to those services. Are you saying your brother wont help. If possible get him to tag along and see

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              • #22
                Ask someone else to be your wali and then go to these places. Also check pure

                Allahu musta an whats wrong with people do they want to cause dhulm

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

                  Ask someone else to be your wali and then go to these places. Also check pure

                  Allahu musta an whats wrong with people do they want to cause dhulm
                  I was on pure matrimony for ages no luck there.

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                  • #24

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                    • #25
                      I'll take the first

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                      • #26
                        Consider it from person 2s perspective. Would it be fair on them that you "settled" for them even though you felt more connected to person 1.
                        Shouldn't person 2 deserve someone that is connected to them in the same way?
                        What happens if you marry person 2 but still have lingering feelings for person 1 who you felt a stronger connection 2.
                        I don't think that's fair on person 2 at all, and I wouldn't want someone to say yes to me in that situation.

                        But Allah knows best.

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                        • #27
                          The problem is the standards you use to judge others by.

                          Studying, fasting sunnahs, attending lectures does not necessitate that said individual will make a better spouse.

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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by MyUsernameIs... View Post
                            The problem is the standards you use to judge others by.

                            Studying, fasting sunnahs, attending lectures does not necessitate that said individual will make a better spouse.
                            What standards do you use then? 

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                            • #29
                              https://islamicgemsandpearls.wordpress.com

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                              • #30
                                That is for each individual to decide.

                                But the assumption that someone who does more outward actions will make a better spouse can turn out to be problematic.

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