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Would you marry an ex gangsta revert?

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  • #16
    Originally posted by Fakhri-bin-Ali View Post

    She also mentioned he hasn't completely given up his old ways... And with so many convictions... You'd think he'd still have a target on his back from people from his past.

    If he had been solidly practicing, completely changed for 5-6 years, etc, with a job, then that might be something a little different, but still, as a hypothetical father, I'd be reluctant.
    Bro why u posting me im not married let alone have a daughter to give for marriage

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    • #17
      Originally posted by Fakhri-bin-Ali View Post

      Is there any point when





      Women just lurve bad boys. :]
      Why oh why

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      • #18
        https://islamicgemsandpearls.wordpress.com

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        • #19
          I was just messing with that comment. It's in reference to a giant thread on here that I'm guessing grates br Abu Abdullaah a little.

          Sneaky... in what way?


          This is maybe going off on a bit of a tangent but...

          There was a comment made on here a while back that made me think about myself. It was from someone mentioning how a person had disappointed them and they'd seen that person's true colours, how they weren't really the person they originally assumed.

          As people we should temper our expectation of others and realise that most people have flaws and are liable to disappoint us in one way or another.

          So if a brother or sister is really trying hard to improve and be a certain way but then falls short, loses their temper etc, etc, it stands out a lot of more than someone who we'd not normally associate with being very practicing/religious.

          ​​​​​
          ​​NOTE: Please kindly avoid 'liking' my posts. Thank you! (Jazaa'akumullah khair)

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          • #20
            There must be humble brothers our there who are practicing, surely?

            What if sister had a daughter of her own.
            Would she give her daughter to a brother in that situation?
            ​​NOTE: Please kindly avoid 'liking' my posts. Thank you! (Jazaa'akumullah khair)

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            • #21
              https://islamicgemsandpearls.wordpress.com

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              • #22
                Too much of a risk
                you also have 2 kids you need to think can this man be a role model for my children

                some will be arrogant and some wont be just need to be patient and keep looking

                and if ur fear the sneaky thing then ask them
                have u been married before
                If he knows the fiqh of marriage divorce etc
                Have u got any wives

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by Fakhri-bin-Ali View Post

                  There must be humble brothers our there who are practicing, surely?

                  What if sister had a daughter of her own.
                  Would she give her daughter to a brother in that situation?
                  https://islamicgemsandpearls.wordpress.com

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

                    Too much of a risk
                    you also have 2 kids you need to think can this man be a role model for my children

                    some will be arrogant and some wont be just need to be patient and keep looking
                    https://islamicgemsandpearls.wordpress.com

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                    • #25
                      Well usually kuffar obsess over muslim women because they are covered and cant get them (alhamdullilah )

                      The way u describe him is really bad like bare red flags

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                      • #26
                        https://islamicgemsandpearls.wordpress.com

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                        • #27
                          Last edited by Janna90; 22-05-19, 01:54 AM.

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                          • #28
                            Wa alaykum salaam

                            If a friend of yours asked you this, what would you say to her? 

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                            • #29
                              I have no clue how to approach this, I mean if he had completely changed and was carrying with his Islamic work on YouTube then it could of been a good idea to marry him.

                              I hate the idea of discriminating against reverts, but its not that hes a convert but any Muslim with a serious continued criminal behaviour needs to sort themselves out before marrying, for the sake of not being selfish to their future spouse.

                              And OP I thought u were already married tbh lol sis 
                              Abu Malik at-Ash'ari reported:

                              The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: Cleanliness is half of faith

                              and al-Hamdu Lillah (all praise and gratitude is for Allah alone) fills the scale, and Subhan Allah (Glory be to Allah)

                              and al-Hamdu Lillah fill up what is between the heavens and the earth, and prayer is a light,

                              and charity is proof (of one's faith)

                              and endurance is a brightness and the Holy Qur'an is a proof on your behalf or against you.

                              All men go out early in the morning and sell themselves, thereby setting themselves free or destroying themselves.



                              حَدَّثَنَا إِسْحَاقُ بْنُ مَنْصُورٍ، حَدَّثَنَا حَبَّانُ بْنُ هِلاَلٍ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبَانٌ، حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى، أَنَّ زَيْدًا، حَدَّثَهُ أَنَّ أَبَا سَلاَّمٍ حَدَّثَهُ عَنْ أَبِي مَالِكٍ الأَشْعَرِيِّ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ "‏ الطُّهُورُ شَطْرُ الإِيمَانِ وَالْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ تَمْلأُ الْمِيزَانَ ‏.‏ وَسُبْحَانَ اللَّهِ وَالْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ تَمْلآنِ - أَوْ تَمْلأُ - مَا بَيْنَ السَّمَوَاتِ وَالأَرْضِ وَالصَّلاَةُ نُورٌ وَالصَّدَقَةُ بُرْهَانٌ وَالصَّبْرُ ضِيَاءٌ وَالْقُرْآنُ حُجَّةٌ لَكَ أَوْ عَلَيْكَ كُلُّ النَّاسِ يَغْدُو فَبَائِعٌ نَفْسَهُ فَمُعْتِقُهَا أَوْ مُوبِقُهَا ‏"‏ ‏.‏

                              Reference : Sahih Muslim 223
                              In-book reference : Book 2, Hadith 1
                              USC-MSA web (English) reference : Book 2, Hadith 432
                              (deprecated numbering scheme)

                              أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

                              Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


                              Please take a look at my blog : http://thinkingmuslima.blogspot.co.uk/

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                              • #30
                                In all honesty - I would absolutely not let a daughter marry him.

                                Marriage is such a risk and there are smaller red flags than this that can put me off someone but this is a huge red flag.

                                What happens if his uh ... zeal of the convert ... dies down a bit (which I think might be natural in some sense) and he returns to his old ways? Try to remove any emotions and think of this like a business decision.

                                There are brothers in my masjid with convictions that have truly changed their ways - but they HAVE changed everything already (not just willing to change if they get married) and as a brother it is easier for me to suss out another brother and see if they are legit - in comparison to if it was a sister sussing them out.

                                The way someone comes off when they are speaking to you about marriage is no guarantee of the way they will be after the honeymoon phase is over anyway.

                                I also think you are writing off religious guys. I feel the arrogant ones you meet aren't religious guys - just ones that wear a long beard and go to the mosque but have no akhlaq; who haven't grasped what Islam is really about. No different to the women who wear hijab but very tight clothes who haven't grasped what hijab means.
                                There are plenty people that go to the masjid I attend that have no respect for anyone but themselves and love to show off, but there are also tonnes of very humble, gentle and very friendly religious men there. It's a mixed bag like anything.

                                But its hard to give you advice without having met him myself, and without knowing your own situation e.g. how long you have been trying to get re-married etc. which could all weigh in to your choice.

                                May Allah SWT guide you to whatever is best for you.
                                Last edited by Sabr; 22-05-19, 02:15 AM.

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