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Would you marry an ex gangsta revert?

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  • Layla_
    replied
    Originally posted by Indefinable View Post

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  • Layla_
    replied
    He works on a construction site literally a min away from my work place & has seen me about & enquired about me saying he wanted to marry me. 

    hm yes maybe I am stereotyping the religious looking brothers but some of their behaviour is just awful Subhanallah 

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  • Plumeria
    replied
    The main takeaway that I get from this thread is besides everything else, don't marry someone on the basis or assumption that they are willing to change. If that goes south, it goes very south. Best to avoid and why risk it. It isn't like you are just looking out for yourself. You have two more lives that you are responsible for, subhanAllah.

    May Allah make it easy.

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  • Bayna3
    replied
    how did this guy approach you for marriage? he approached your father? but how did he know of you

    I think you may be stereotyping the ''religious looking'' guys there's loads of nice guys out there btw sadly seems a few have ruined it for most

     

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  • Indefinable
    replied
    Don't act in haste. 

    Take your time and if you are unsure then call it off. 

    You have two young kids to think of too, remember so don't just marry any random person, without thorough checks. 


     

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  • Layla_
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  • Layla_
    replied
    Originally posted by Umm Uthmaan View Post
    I don't think I would honestly..But ask him how long has it been since he left his old "lifestyle"..actions speak louder than words
    Also I feel like it says something about his character ..I know Islam can change you 100%, but what if he still has some of those character traits ...

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  • Umm Uthmaan
    replied
    I don't think I would honestly..But ask him how long has it been since he left his old "lifestyle"..actions speak louder than words
    Also I feel like it says something about his character ..I know Islam can change you 100%, but what if he still has some of those character traits ...

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  • Ya'sin
    replied
    No

     

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  • Kaas
    replied
    If those people are still jahil then id avoid, but maybe they also became muslims though... overall any guy that has non muslim friends should be out of the question exept if he is actively making dawah to them and they're trying to learn about deen

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  • Layla_
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  • Abu Abdur_Rahman
    replied
    His past doesn't matter only if he has repented from it.

    If he still shows signs that he's connected to it by way of his current actions and the friends he keeps, then that tells you about the level of his repentance.

    Some people need a lot of time to fully change and eliminate the choices they made in the past. Others don't need much time and they make a complete transformation by means of worship and excelling in their practice of Islam.

    As for marrying a person with a such a criminal past, it depends on the girl/woman as well. What does she want in a husband? Maybe she also has a past that she has repented from.

    But if she grew up in her family's home and had a pure upbringing, then no I would say this is not a good match at all.

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  • Layla_
    replied
    Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post

    I would say, don't risk it.

    Yes past is past, but it affects the future whether we like it or not.

    You need a guy who you can confidently say is a safe choice.

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  • Stoic Believer
    replied
    Originally posted by Layla_ View Post

    Thoughts?
    I would say, don't risk it.

    Yes past is past, but it affects the future whether we like it or not.

    You need a guy who you can confidently say is a safe choice.

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  • Layla_
    replied
    Originally posted by eesa the kiwi View Post
    My own past was pretty bad I wasn't a gangster (hated rap) but I was a junkie and a criminal. I've been Muslim ten years clean roughly the same but my past eats me up inside. No idea how I'll get married when the time comes (not ready now due to an illness) but I hope I can find someone who judged me for who I am now not who I was

    that being said op I think you already know the answer. Forget his past but how he is currently is raising red flags

    my advice would be dont dismiss it but be cautious and hesitant too. If these red flags keep popping up then you are under no obligation to marry him let him ruin someone else's life

    may Allah make things easy for you and grant you khair

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