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Would you marry an ex gangsta revert?

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  • Would you marry an ex gangsta revert?

    Assalamu alaykum

    apologies for the thread title. Sooo... for the sisters out there, would you marry an ex gangsta revert? Brothers, would you allow your daughter to marry one?

    I’ve had a brother interested in marrying me & he’s done things in the right & correct manner (approach my father etc) however my father isn’t practising & isn’t exactly taking his role as a wali seriously. (I’m also divorced) and so I’ve done some serious FBI work on this brother & have found out that he has been to prison 15 times. Wallah I’m not joking, I wish I was! He has got something like 68 offences on his record and 29 convictions. The brother has said that these offences were before he became Muslim & most of the offences are fighting. I have met the brother once in the presence of family & he’s softly spoken, seems calm and genuine. He seems to have a genuine love for Islam and has said that he reverted whilst in prison.
    Obviously when someone reverts, we look past their jahilliyah & I’m not being judgemental but he does seem to have had a very rocky start in life.¬*


    Soo..would you overlook a person’s past or would it bother you?¬*
    https://islamicgemsandpearls.wordpress.com

  • #2
    Wailakoum asalam,
    If this was all before he became a Muslim I think I would overlook it as long as it doesnít effect him in terms of getting a job and providing for you etc. for me personally itís not an issue if he didnít do major stuff.
    you need to ask yourself if your okay with it. And whatís more important is how he is now. And if heís practising now and changed his ways. The only thing I will say though is sometimes their old life could be a fitna for them, especially if there surrounded by the same people from their jahilliya. So find out what kind of company he keeps and if those people around him are practising and donít influence him negatively. Otherwise itís hard for them to change, if their environment is still the same. They could easily fall back into their old lifestyle.

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    • #3
      Jazakallah khayr for your response. He has a job alhumdulillah. From what I gather, he hasnít left his old lifestyle completely but seems to be willing to make the change.¬*
      https://islamicgemsandpearls.wordpress.com

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Layla_ View Post
        Jazakallah khayr for your response. He has a job alhumdulillah. From what I gather, he hasnít left his old lifestyle completely but seems to be willing to make the change.¬*
        Do not marry him unless he changes. Willing is not enough. Be careful sis.

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        • #5
          Interesting.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
            Interesting.
            Thoughts?
            https://islamicgemsandpearls.wordpress.com

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Farah. A View Post

              Do not marry him unless he changes. Willing is not enough. Be careful sis.
              True sis. The brother was on YouTube with various talks ¬*about Islam & his reversion & he seemed quite passionate but this was a couple of years ago and it looks like maybe heís taken a bit of a dip wa allahu aalum.¬*
              https://islamicgemsandpearls.wordpress.com

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              • #8
                If i had a daughter no i wouldnt

                if someone reverts yes their sins are forgiven and we dont judge them but sins and habits can leave marks on a person and sometimes they are hard to get rid of

                if someone has been a repeat offender wouldnt especially if he still has some of his old lifestyle with him i wouldnt give my daughter if i had one

                be patient dont compromise on things like this get someone whos practising fully and has been for a while
                consistency and reliability is important

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Layla_ View Post

                  True sis. The brother was on YouTube with various talks ¬*about Islam & his reversion & he seemed quite passionate but this was a couple of years ago and it looks like maybe heís taken a bit of a dip wa allahu aalum.¬*
                  The question from the OP to brothers was if we had a daughter would we marry her to him.

                  Honestly, no.

                  ​​​​​​
                  LAA ILAAHA ILLALLAAH
                  -------------------------------------

                  ​​​​​NOTE: Please kindly avoid 'liking' my posts (Jazaa'akumullah khair)

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                  • #10
                    Have you asked any out-of-the-box questions?

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                    • #11
                      Iíve had a lot of bad experience with Ďpractisingí brothers looking for marriage. Honestly itís really put me off. I know that sounds bad... I did initially think no way to this brother but then I thought I shouldnít judge him based on his past. Youíre right though in that habits can leave marks on a person & can be hard to get rid of¬*
                      https://islamicgemsandpearls.wordpress.com

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Abu 'Abdullaah View Post
                        Have you asked any out-of-the-box questions?
                        Erm I did ask some quite judgemental questions....
                        https://islamicgemsandpearls.wordpress.com

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
                          If i had a daughter no i wouldnt

                          if someone reverts yes their sins are forgiven and we dont judge them but sins and habits can leave marks on a person and sometimes they are hard to get rid of

                          if someone has been a repeat offender wouldnt especially if he still has some of his old lifestyle with him i wouldnt give my daughter if i had one

                          be patient dont compromise on things like this get someone whos practising fully and has been for a while
                          consistency and reliability is important
                          She also mentioned he hasn't completely given up his old ways... And with so many convictions... You'd think he'd still have a target on his back from people from his past.

                          If he had been solidly practicing, completely changed for 5-6 years, etc, with a job, then that might be something a little different, but still, as a hypothetical father, I'd be reluctant.
                          LAA ILAAHA ILLALLAAH
                          -------------------------------------

                          ​​​​​NOTE: Please kindly avoid 'liking' my posts (Jazaa'akumullah khair)

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Abu 'Abdullaah View Post
                            Have you asked any out-of-the-box questions?
                            Is there any point when





                            Women just lurve bad boys. :]
                            LAA ILAAHA ILLALLAAH
                            -------------------------------------

                            ​​​​​NOTE: Please kindly avoid 'liking' my posts (Jazaa'akumullah khair)

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                            • #15
                              Women donít love bad boys but Tbh Iíve found that itís the Brothers that portray themselves to be soo pious and good that are the sneaky ones!¬*
                              https://islamicgemsandpearls.wordpress.com

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