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Beautiful wife or average looking wife, which one?

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  • Beautiful wife or average looking wife, which one?

    I have lets say 2 proposals. One woman is very beautiful (lemme call miss A) and the other one is averageish (lemme call miss B). Both are hijabi. Not much is known about them, except that they both come from good families.
    I am going to go with miss B. For one main reason.
    As pointed out in hadith and Quran, that women are the biggest temptation and trial for men. And Allah even commands us "let not your wives and children be a distract you from striving towards Allah".
    Many women get offended by being labelled as the biggest test for men but remember, its not that women are bad. But its because men are made weak and susceptible to the temptation. So its the evil present inside us men that make women a trial for us.
    Now if my wife is beautiful .... i might buy expensive gifts for her in order to please her rather than give sadaqah. I might miss salah in congregation in order to spend time with her. She might object to me going to congregation salah just to test me and see how i will react.
    And the hadith that when the male private is erect only one third of his wisdom remains.
    Im not saying im weak and i dont trust myself. But putting myself in a risky situation could be considered foolish. Its just that it would be easier for me to resist miss B if she tells me to cut ties with my brother or backbites about someone and i have to stop her or oppose her.
    I believe as a man you must have strength to resist your wife .... not to manipulate her but because youre the leader and you have to lead your family to jannah.

    Life is a challenge and i want to goto jannah. Am i being a coward? Am i not upto the challenge or am i playing it smart? What are your thoughts. Does a beautiful wife really have benefits?

  • #2
    You are weak, because you're saying you'll get seduced easily by Miss A no matter how much of an evil witch she is.

    As for Miss Ugly, you can disrespect her cos she ugly ducklin, she can flush her head down the toilet for all you care.

    My thoughts?


    Just marry or pursue the one you find most attractive.






    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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    • #3


      Why are men so confusing?

      One second they want a pretty girl and the next they want an unattractive one.

      Comment


      • #4
        The beautiful one might encourage you to go to the masjid...

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by aelmo View Post


          Why are men so confusing?

          One second they want a pretty girl and the next they want an unattractive one.



          it's a mixture of being possessive, insecure and I understand op's point about his weaknesses

          if she's got a pretty face, he'll be a slave to her

          if she got ugly ducklin face, easier to tell her to shut it

          'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

          So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Poster View Post
            The beautiful one might encourage you to go to the masjid...
            ANYONE WITH PIETY CAN DO THAT

            YA ALLAH



            HE NEEDS to do that himself
            'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

            So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

            Comment


            • #7
              The thing is, there will come a point in marriage when you might be upset with Miss B for whatever reason. During that time, shaytan will whisper in your ear how "this wouldn't happen if you married Miss A because she was too beautiful for you to be upset with". The logical answer would be to meet them and decide who is more compatible with you. But it is a tricky slippery slop because you should only speak to one person at a time to not compare & give them your honest attention. Also whoever you choose to speak 2nd might get offended and reject you claiming "I don't want to be 2nd choice for a guy".

              If you are inclined toward Miss B because you think, as an average looking guy, you will have more in common with someone like her than Miss BeautyQueen. Then meet her and see where things go. But don't say you are going for her because she is average hence won't have any demands & will make my life easier because she is grateful to me for choosing her over a prettier girl. Don't think about the girls one better than the other. Think about who is good for you

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post

                ANYONE WITH PIETY CAN DO THAT

                YA ALLAH



                HE NEEDS to do that himself

                OP essentially said that a beautiful wife might attempt to mislead him (and he wouldn't be able to control himself).

                My point is that her appearance has no bearing on her piety and she might encourage him to go to the masjid instead of discouraging him.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post




                  it's a mixture of being possessive, insecure and I understand op's point about his weaknesses

                  if she's got a pretty face, he'll be a slave to her

                  if she got ugly ducklin face, easier to tell her to shut it



                  Seriously?

                  how about people find spouses who won’t take advantage of them. They come in both pretty and ugly.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Poster View Post


                    OP essentially said that a beautiful wife might attempt to mislead him (and he wouldn't be able to control himself).

                    My point is that her appearance has no bearing on her piety and she might encourage him to go to the masjid instead of discouraging him.
                    yeh, I know you meant that

                    but I wanted to add a bit more emphasis
                    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      My problem is not that of insecurity or possesiveness. Im not that controlling type person or insecure.
                      . My problem is the need to please. The need to know that those who are with me are happy. Being easily manipulated by guilt and shame which is often used by women. And secondly my judgement shouldnt be affected by my sexual desires.
                      . There was a person on youtube or somewhere who said ... if a woman asks of you something, masterbate 2 times and then see whether you can take that request or no. Now i know masturbation is haraam but you people get the point here. And women know this too.
                      At the same time we have to be the best to our wives as commanded by Rasoolallah s.a.w for the sake of Allah. Dont be good to her only so that you expect intercourse in return like a transaction. Maybe i am overthinking this.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        So there is no chance for a beautiful woman to Marry a practicing muslim?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          The prettier the better.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Farah. A View Post
                            So there is no chance for a beautiful woman to Marry a practicing muslim?
                            If she's practicing herself, she will get swarmed by practicing brothers

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by shehbazthakur View Post
                              I have lets say 2 proposals. One woman is very beautiful (lemme call miss A) and the other one is averageish (lemme call miss B). Both are hijabi. Not much is known about them, except that they both come from good families.
                              I am going to go with miss B. For one main reason.
                              As pointed out in hadith and Quran, that women are the biggest temptation and trial for men. And Allah even commands us "let not your wives and children be a distract you from striving towards Allah".
                              Many women get offended by being labelled as the biggest test for men but remember, its not that women are bad. But its because men are made weak and susceptible to the temptation. So its the evil present inside us men that make women a trial for us.
                              Now if my wife is beautiful .... i might buy expensive gifts for her in order to please her rather than give sadaqah. I might miss salah in congregation in order to spend time with her. She might object to me going to congregation salah just to test me and see how i will react.
                              And the hadith that when the male private is erect only one third of his wisdom remains.
                              Im not saying im weak and i dont trust myself. But putting myself in a risky situation could be considered foolish. Its just that it would be easier for me to resist miss B if she tells me to cut ties with my brother or backbites about someone and i have to stop her or oppose her.
                              I believe as a man you must have strength to resist your wife .... not to manipulate her but because youre the leader and you have to lead your family to jannah.

                              Life is a challenge and i want to goto jannah. Am i being a coward? Am i not upto the challenge or am i playing it smart? What are your thoughts. Does a beautiful wife really have benefits?
                              So you're saying a beautiful wife will have you whipped? Lol

                              Son, eventually you will get used to her looks and realize she is human like you.

                              Comment

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