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What should be kept in mind when you're in talk with a girl from a broken home?

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  • What should be kept in mind when you're in talk with a girl from a broken home?

    Assalamu 'alaykum,

    Brothers and sisters, what are some important things that you should know and discover when you're in talk with a sister from a broken home (e.g. family with a lot of yelling and physical punishment and in the bring of a divorce)? Would you consider the fact a yellow flag in the first place? The stereotypes for women like this is that they're afraid of intimacy, have low self-esteem, or to put it simply, have a lot of baggage. How much do you think it's true? This sister I'm talking to is 29 and there was a period in her life in which she didn't want to get married due to what he experienced as a child. She was even under the care of her grandparents for several years due to the constant conflicts in her house. Not something positive, to say the least, but I won't write her off yet as she seems very practicing, engaged in da'wa, and has deen as her priority.

    Jazakumullahu khair.
    I'm on a strict time management regiment and have to limit my time online. Therefore I have to reply selectively. Please don't be offended if I ignore your questions. :jkk:

  • #2
    I am sure that she would be senstive about a lot of things, so try to be understanding and patient with her.

    If she’s practicing then there is no reason why you shouldn’t give her a chance.

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    • #3
      I would be looking out for anger issues in her.

      "And behold! ye come to us bare and alone as We created you for the first time: ye have left behind you all which We bestowed on you..." - Al-An'am:94

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by budi.sudaryo View Post
        Assalamu 'alaykum,

        Brothers and sisters, what are some important things that you should know and discover when you're in talk with a sister from a broken home (e.g. family with a lot of yelling and physical punishment and in the bring of a divorce)? Would you consider the fact a yellow flag in the first place? The stereotypes for women like this is that they're afraid of intimacy, have low self-esteem, or to put it simply, have a lot of baggage. How much do you think it's true? This sister I'm talking to is 29 and there was a period in her life in which she didn't want to get married due to what he experienced as a child. She even under the care of her grandparents for several years due to the constant conflicts in her house. Not something positive, to say the least, but I won't write her off yet as she seems very practicing, engaged in da'wa, and has deen as her priority.

        Jazakumullahu khair.


        Are you worried she might knock you around?

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        • #5
          It shouldn't make a difference.

          If she's psycho - she'll be a psycho regardless of her background.

          More to the point: All these potentials over the years. Aren't you being too picky?

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by notEVOLVED View Post
            I would be looking out for anger issues in her.
            she says that if she gets mad with her family she can get ugly like yelling.
            I'm on a strict time management regiment and have to limit my time online. Therefore I have to reply selectively. Please don't be offended if I ignore your questions. :jkk:

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Indefinable View Post
              It shouldn't make a difference.

              If she's psycho - she'll be a psycho regardless of her background.

              More to the point: All these potentials over the years. Aren't you being too picky?
              not really. many psychological conditions are rooted in past experiences.

              if there's one thing to be picky in it's choosing a spouse, son.
              I'm on a strict time management regiment and have to limit my time online. Therefore I have to reply selectively. Please don't be offended if I ignore your questions. :jkk:

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by budi.sudaryo View Post

                she says that if she gets mad with her family she can get ugly like yelling.
                If she doesn't get her anger issue resolved, she might vent her anger on the kids in future

                "And behold! ye come to us bare and alone as We created you for the first time: ye have left behind you all which We bestowed on you..." - Al-An'am:94

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by budi.sudaryo View Post

                  not really. many psychological conditions are rooted in past experiences.

                  if there's one thing to be picky in it's choosing a spouse, son.
                  Son?

                  :-/

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