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  • #16
    Originally posted by bamjamjamma View Post

    Ok this might be a bit off topic but, I donít know what type he is but if heís the type thatís doing that because they want me to leave them alone, then it makes me feel really bad. Like Iíve been trying to latch on but heís been trying to fend me off. This makes me feel like a bad person... and makes me feel very embarrassed. Just thinking about this possibility makes me not want to try anymore. Like Iím an annoying bug..

    I think its natural to feel that way. But it could be the opposite and he might be interested - only by asking will you know. And the sooner you ask, the sooner you can either get married - or remove him from your life and free yourself mentally to be able to meet someone else.

    Both of those outcomes are of benefit to you. I feel like I wasted years waiting and wondering about a person - and because of it I wouldn't let myself meet a different proposal we got - because I felt it would be unfair on a new person if I was mentally attached to someone else. Trust me it is the most liberating feeling once you find out, whatever the answer may be.

    I have to go and do some work now. InshAllah you get your answer soon. This dunya is full of ups and downs.

    "None that a man has will only give him pleasure in return he shall also suffer pain because of it, except for a love of Allah."
    Last edited by Sabr; 01-04-19, 07:05 AM.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by Sabr View Post


      I think its natural to feel that way. But it could be the opposite and he might be interested - only by asking will you know. And the sooner you ask, the sooner you can either get married - or remove him from your life and free yourself mentally to be able to meet someone else.

      Both of those outcomes are of benefit to you. I feel like I wasted years waiting and wondering about a person - and because of it I wouldn't let myself meet a different proposal we got - because I felt it would be unfair on a new person if I was mentally attached to someone else. Trust me it is the most liberating feeling once you find out, whatever the answer may e.
      JAK, I trust you to be honest. Make duaa for me please, Iím going to try and directly tell my friend to ask him. I am looking forward to some closure at least...

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      • #18
        Originally posted by bamjamjamma View Post

        I really do want marriage, i'd prefer it be with him, but Allah knows whats best for me more.

        I understand that I shouldn't attach myself to anyone, so does that mean i should stop making duaa about him?
        Are these things (marriage) supposed to be easier than this, like I dont want to try and force things to happen. I just want them to happen. Is that how you know if something is real or not (in terms of the person being right for you)?
        I'd just make du'a to Allah to take this attachment you have to him away.

        Then if you feel he is right, then ask him either directly or indirectly.

        Try to keep it simple.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by bamjamjamma View Post

          JAK, I trust you to be honest. Make duaa for me please, Iím going to try and directly tell my friend to ask him. I am looking forward to some closure at least...
          Will do.

          Great! Yes closure is amazing. It might hurt for a week or so but after that you will wonder why you didn't ask earlier. Or he might be interested in marriage and that will be pure bliss.

          Whatever the answer - you can then invest your energy in something else - instead of being paralyzed by constantly wondering.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by Sabr View Post

            Will do.

            Great! Yes closure is amazing. It might hurt for a week or so but after that you will wonder why you didn't ask earlier. Or he might be interested in marriage and that will be pure bliss.

            Whatever the answer - you can then invest your energy in something else - instead of being paralyzed by constantly wondering.
            Son.

            I liked your responses here.

            And for that reason, I shall take you under my wing.

            Welcome to the sons.

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            • #21
              Originally posted by A.Basheer View Post

              Son.

              I liked your responses here.

              And for that reason, I shall take you under my wing.

              Welcome to the sons.
              I thought Morose was the Ameer

              "And behold! ye come to us bare and alone as We created you for the first time: ye have left behind you all which We bestowed on you..." - Al-An'am:94

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              • #22
                Originally posted by notEVOLVED View Post

                I thought Morose was the Ameer
                Son.

                Hayyaka Allah son.

                First of all, it is not appropriate to question the Ameer using this tone.

                I will let it slide since you are still new.

                Secondly, Morose gave up his ameership. He was tested yesterday and, like predicted, he failed the test and the forum turned into chaos.

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by A.Basheer View Post

                  Son.

                  I liked your responses here.

                  And for that reason, I shall take you under my wing.

                  Welcome to the sons.
                  Feeling blessed :) JazaakAllahKhair. I kindly accept.

                  New to the forum, I take it by the post count you are one of the heavyweights (figuratively) around here? :P

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                  • #24
                    More like featherweight. ^

                    OP - Pray Istikhara In Sha Allaah.

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                    • #25
                      Unrequited love is not healthy. In the end, only you will suffer from it.
                      Pray. Fast. Zakat. Pilgrimage. Allah.

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                      • #26
                        Im sorry you're going through such struggles ukthi, sooner and some day this will pass whether Allah allows you to marry him or gives you someone or something better (in Sha Allah).

                        "What is meant for you, will reach you even if it is beneath two mountains. What isn't meant for you, won't reach you even if it is between your two lips."
                        إقراء القران فإنه يأتي يوم القيامة شفيعا لأصحابه

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by Sabr View Post

                          Feeling blessed :) JazaakAllahKhair. I kindly accept.

                          New to the forum, I take it by the post count you are one of the heavyweights (figuratively) around here? :P
                          Son.

                          You did not have a choice in the matter either way.

                          Soon we shall marry you off along with the other sons, son.

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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by Indefinable View Post
                            More like featherweight. ^

                            OP - Pray Istikhara In Sha Allaah.
                            This is what I have to deal with.

                            These rude one liners must be ceased once and for all.
                            Last edited by Abu Abdur_Rahman; 01-04-19, 02:26 PM.

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                            • #29
                              Stop wasting your time on someone who could've gotten in contact with you or your family during those two years. Actions speak louder than words. Make your dua general and ask Allah to bless you with a righteous husband.

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                              • #30
                                let it snow

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