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  • zfk
    started a topic Girl doing job and marriage getting into the issue.

    Girl doing job and marriage getting into the issue.

    Assalamu alaikum warahmatullah,

    I have one question related to marriage.

    I got married with a Muslim girl, 1 year ago.

    Marriage happened as arrange marriage and ceremony attended by all relatives from both sides.

    The girl was doing the job and we allowed girl to do the job after marriage.

    The girl said she will do the job for some time after marriage.

    The working hours of job was 12 hours including travel time and girl not able to manage stress related to job and home responsibilities.

    She was getting angry and abusing husband for small small issues.

    Therefore they were separated.Girl now live with her father and mother in their house.

    They were separated to avoid any argument and misbehavior from both side.

    They were multiple counseling meetings happened with relatives on both sides before and after separation but no results.

    Girl not ready to stop doing a job and live peacefully with husband and boy frustrated from the abusing words from the girl.

    Girl father and relatives want her to do the job, she was not ready to contribute in her house with husband.

    The boy is doing business, financially stable and not dependent on boy's parents, girl and relatives for financial help.

    Now, Girl father threatening boy to pay big amount of money or face court cases.

    Girl father and girl both abuse the boy using their tongue and think only their side is right.

    Girl and her father threat to boy for money is right?

    I want to solve to this issue using Quran, Hadis and Islamic way instead going in court cases.

    Counseling sessions happened with Islamic scholars in the city with the girl's father, but he is not ready to listen.

    Please help and advice.

  • zfk
    replied
    I was surprise to know her father goes to 5 times pray and ask money in Saitan way instead of following path of Allah said in Quran and Hadis.


    In past he send daily hundred of messages on my whats app number about Quran and Hadis. I was feeling he is religious person.


    When we loose something , we have soft target , the anger and the revenge feeling takes people to follow the path of Saitan even they know what our beloved prophet Muhammad said in books and they go for 5 times pray.

    I message them that the money will benefit in this world but life after death don't require money. Invited them to follow path of our beloved prophet Muhammad.

    They want to take revenge and harm me. They will feel happy only after taking revenge from me.

    I believe in Allah and our beloved prophet Muhammad. They might succeed in this world because of women favoring laws but Allah will not forgive them in Akirat (Life after death)

    If I forgive their abuse , harassment and revenge towards me as per mention in the hadis books and they follow the path of saitan then I think Allah will do the justice with me.

    I am looking for any book or situation mention in hadis books like (Sahih al-Bukhari,Sahih Muslim many other books) where issues like this can be explain between husband,wife and interfering people (in-laws and relatives) .

    Or any related hadis of our beloved prophet Muhammad so that using book reference I can explain them path of Allah.

    I have explain and share photo of the page from hadis book where 1 chapter (20+ pages) explain sins of tongue. Most favorite task Allah like is control and prevent misuse of the tongue. We pray, read Quran and make dua using our tongue. Same way people abuse and misbehave when get angry use bad words using tongue.
    Last edited by zfk; 25-03-19, 03:21 PM.

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  • shay5
    replied
    Originally posted by zfk View Post

    I have not abused , asked the for money (dowry) or any other way harass the the girl , I am ready to put my hand on books Allah and swear.




    That's wonderful but will that hold up in court?

    You need proof as Twinking said. Also do these people not fear Allah, this life is not eternal, do they really want to risk it all for worldy assets.

    Leave a comment:


  • zfk
    replied


    Assalamu alaikum brothers.

    Many thanks brothers and shehbazthakur for support and advice.

    Currently I am busy with my job work therefore not able to contact via whats app or phone with shehbazthakur.

    They have not mentioned the IPC section they will use. My relatives are in communication with them.

    They informed my relatives to pay money else face court cases.

    If they do the case and reject the offer to solve the issue as per Quran and Hadis of our beloved prophet Muhammad then I have to file case using the IPC section 384 (extortion ) and 506 (criminal intimidation), verbal abuse and answers to case as per their sections.

    One of my friend told to search lawyer who will take fixed fees for the case till case get finished. I don't have money to pay lawyers for each court date and other charges.

    I have not abused , asked the for money (dowry) or any other way harass the the girl , I am ready to put my hand on books Allah and swear.





    Last edited by zfk; 25-03-19, 06:57 AM.

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  • ~TwinklingStar~
    replied
    Are they threatening to book you under section 498 ? Many women in India (especially Muslim women and their families) are known to abuse this law.

    For those who aren't aware, 498 is an Indian law intended to stop cruelty to women. It makes it a crime to be cruel to your wife or to your relative's wife. It makes it a crime to harass a woman to try to make her family pay a dowry. The law allows for imprisonment of up to 3 years and for a fine.

    But, plenty of women abuse it and send the husband and his entire family to prison on incorrect harassment charges or trick them into court in order to extract a huge sum
    of money from them. To avoid unnecessary legal hassles, the man's family agrees to pay the amount asked.

    OP, try your best to get community leaders and elders from both sides involved and settle the matter amicably.

    If any dowry was taken, be it in the guise of furniture, clothes etc, return it all back immediately.

    If you can, record proof of their threats and abuses, so that you also have evidence in case they drag you to court.



    Leave a comment:


  • zfk
    replied
    Many thanks brothers for valuable information. Remember me in Dua after Namaz (Salah).

    I send apologies message to her father , girl on their mobiles and explain my point. I give them reference of hadis books where it is mention Allah like people who forgive each other. I have read many books of hadis to understand good behavior of the person towards other Muslim in different chapters.

    I paid for Mehr and Jewellery of the girl.

    I requested them to solve this issue using Quran and Hadis of our beloved prophet Muhammad sunna.

    The money they are asking work only in this world but if we solve this issue as per hadis our beloved prophet Muhammad sunna then Allah will give rewards for us and it will be helpful in akirat (life after death).

    Basically to show status and get respect from society fathers of girl spend money on marriage but boys family do not ask them to do so. Our beloved prophet Muhammad sunna says not to invest money on marriages for girl. Only boys needs to do Walima (Dinner) for the relatives and friends.

    When marriages do not work, girl family want the money they spend on marriage plus extra money. Once they get divorce girl get marry easily with another boy but revenge from girl family make boy and her family social abuse from society and financial problems as well.

    I told them I can put my hand on books of Allah and promise that I have not done anything wrong to the girl. If they have any clarification
    they we can have meetings with the help of Islamic scholars to find solution as per books of hadis.

    In the akirat (life after death) we have to answer all our action in this world to Allah. Depending upon our good deeds we will either go in Janna or hell. I am trying my best to convenience her father not to follow path of Saitan (Satan) and follow path of our beloved prophet Muhammad sunna.
    Last edited by zfk; 24-03-19, 06:57 PM.

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  • shehbazthakur
    replied
    Originally posted by blitz View Post
    You already made the mistake of marrying someone who was more interested in her job than family. As you have already tried counseling sessions, there is nothing more you can do. What court case are they threatening you about? You are only supposed to pay the mahr and then her expenses during iddah.
    Mostly its dowry harassment (NOT mahr) and domestic violence

    Leave a comment:


  • blitz
    replied
    You already made the mistake of marrying someone who was more interested in her job than family. As you have already tried counseling sessions, there is nothing more you can do. What court case are they threatening you about? You are only supposed to pay the mahr and then her expenses during iddah.

    Leave a comment:


  • shehbazthakur
    replied
    many women in my country ABUSE this law which was established against HINDU culture, including MUSLIM women to take revenge against their husband in order to gain monetary benefits by extortion, threats and blackmail.

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  • shehbazthakur
    replied
    Originally posted by shay5 View Post

    So you can't divorce her? Can you not talk to an imam and get him involved. Mahr should have been agreed before marriage, have you paid that? Is that what they're asking for?
    In ISLAM, husband gives Mahr to wife when he marries. Mahr is also called dowry.
    but in INDIA the culture is the opposite, THE HINDUS take money from wifes family and thats called dowry.
    in the earlier days the inlaws would torture the wives to demand dowry from her family.
    So the anti dowry laws were put into place but its very unfair, you can be arrested without any evidence and will kept in police custody till you are taken to the court magistrate.

    Leave a comment:


  • shehbazthakur
    replied
    Your wife already knows the law very well and will take advantage of such legal terrorism, you may not want to go to court but she can drag you to court. Brother, get an anticipatory bail ASAP. Contact your lawyer.
    You have 3 options
    1. Get her back, explain to her with love and kindness and importance of spending quality time together. In the end we all have to die one day, so extra money doesnt matter. Be happy in the moment. Give her your love and be patient with her
    2. Tell her things arent working out, we need to come up with something that works for both of us or else the purpose of marriage is defeated.

    the second one is a more harder and courageous choice. No matter what choice you make, please get an anticipatory bail from COURT. If not for you atleast for your old parents and your brothers n sisters sake. Try to record any conversation of she or her family threatening you with cases. Whatsapp or video. Give her all the love first and if she agrees to work things out, then thats the best thing ever. Youve saved yourself great trouble and youre very lucky. If however your wife and family are hell bent on destroying your life, youll have to make sure you have the precautions ready or your life can be really HELL. PLease brother get ANTICIPATORY BAIL, and gather evidences.

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  • shay5
    replied
    Originally posted by shehbazthakur View Post
    For nothing , in my country (india) the wife can make demands, and if the husband fails to provide them then the wife can file a false cases against the husband and his family stating that they would torture the wife and their family for dowry. So police comes and straight away imprisons everyone, the husband, his old parents, even his sister (even if shes married to someone else) under dowry harrassment charges.
    Many men commit suicide like this. Ive seen cases where husband has property in his name and wife asks the property to be transferred in her name else she will file dowry case.
    Men dont fight this injustice and instead give into the demands to get out of this situation, or are not prepared dont take precaution. The police is also very corrupt and plays upon the fear of good citizens. They arrest innocent people and demand money or else they will file charges against them especially in these dowry cases which they know are 90% of the time false. When a husband files for divorce many a times wife files false dowry case on husband and family to take revenge as she is very high on emotions.
    Ive been through this entire thing but Shukr Alhumdullilah ALLAH s.w.t saved me.
    So you can't divorce her? Can you not talk to an imam and get him involved. Mahr should have been agreed before marriage, have you paid that? Is that what they're asking for?

    Leave a comment:


  • shehbazthakur
    replied
    For nothing , in my country (india) the wife can make demands, and if the husband fails to provide them then the wife can file a false cases against the husband and his family stating that they would torture the wife and their family for dowry. So police comes and straight away imprisons everyone, the husband, his old parents, even his sister (even if shes married to someone else) under dowry harrassment charges.
    Many men commit suicide like this. Ive seen cases where husband has property in his name and wife asks the property to be transferred in her name else she will file dowry case.
    Men dont fight this injustice and instead give into the demands to get out of this situation, or are not prepared dont take precaution. The police is also very corrupt and plays upon the fear of good citizens. They arrest innocent people and demand money or else they will file charges against them especially in these dowry cases which they know are 90% of the time false. When a husband files for divorce many a times wife files false dowry case on husband and family to take revenge as she is very high on emotions.
    Ive been through this entire thing but Shukr Alhumdullilah ALLAH s.w.t saved me.

    Leave a comment:


  • shay5
    replied
    Now, Girl father threatening boy to pay big amount of money or face court cases.
    Face court for what?

    Leave a comment:


  • notEVOLVED
    replied
    You don't have to pay anything to the in-laws. The girl only needs to be paid Mahr which was decided during Nikah.
    Don't know about the rules in India, though. Be careful, brother. May Allah ease your situation.

    Leave a comment:

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