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  • Girl doing job and marriage getting into the issue.

    Assalamu alaikum warahmatullah,

    I have one question related to marriage.

    I got married with a Muslim girl, 1 year ago.

    Marriage happened as arrange marriage and ceremony attended by all relatives from both sides.

    The girl was doing the job and we allowed girl to do the job after marriage.

    The girl said she will do the job for some time after marriage.

    The working hours of job was 12 hours including travel time and girl not able to manage stress related to job and home responsibilities.

    She was getting angry and abusing husband for small small issues.

    Therefore they were separated.Girl now live with her father and mother in their house.

    They were separated to avoid any argument and misbehavior from both side.

    They were multiple counseling meetings happened with relatives on both sides before and after separation but no results.

    Girl not ready to stop doing a job and live peacefully with husband and boy frustrated from the abusing words from the girl.

    Girl father and relatives want her to do the job, she was not ready to contribute in her house with husband.

    The boy is doing business, financially stable and not dependent on boy's parents, girl and relatives for financial help.

    Now, Girl father threatening boy to pay big amount of money or face court cases.

    Girl father and girl both abuse the boy using their tongue and think only their side is right.

    Girl and her father threat to boy for money is right?

    I want to solve to this issue using Quran, Hadis and Islamic way instead going in court cases.

    Counseling sessions happened with Islamic scholars in the city with the girl's father, but he is not ready to listen.

    Please help and advice.

  • #2
    Ive been in a very similiar situation, so i can advice you.
    please be very cautious and take decision with wisdom.
    which country do you live in??

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    • #3
      Your post seems complicated issue, it's best not marry a woman who is only interested doing her job. Some women out there who behave as if her job is more important to her than her marriage. If her husband provides for her she shouldn't work but unfortunately this days some women behave like men, these women think if they work they will be independent and strong. I think solution is to marry from back home.

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      • #4
        I live in India.

        The girl has an ego of monthly salary amount and I am trying my best with the help of relatives and Islamic scholars to solve the issue.

        I don't have big money they are asking. I am reading different books of Hades to find anywhere it is written to pay money to girl in such a situation.

        Please help me with your experience advice.



        Last edited by zfk; 24-03-19, 10:15 AM.

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        • #5
          I live in india too .... can u p.m me ... ive been through a very similiar situation. Which has been going on for a year in my case.

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          • #6
            Brother ive sent you a personal message. Reply back. Youre situation is quite dire.

            Comment


            • #7
              You don't have to pay anything to the in-laws. The girl only needs to be paid Mahr which was decided during Nikah.
              Don't know about the rules in India, though. Be careful, brother. May Allah ease your situation.

              "And behold! ye come to us bare and alone as We created you for the first time: ye have left behind you all which We bestowed on you..." - Al-An'am:94

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              • #8
                Now, Girl father threatening boy to pay big amount of money or face court cases.
                Face court for what?
                Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

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                • #9
                  For nothing , in my country (india) the wife can make demands, and if the husband fails to provide them then the wife can file a false cases against the husband and his family stating that they would torture the wife and their family for dowry. So police comes and straight away imprisons everyone, the husband, his old parents, even his sister (even if shes married to someone else) under dowry harrassment charges.
                  Many men commit suicide like this. Ive seen cases where husband has property in his name and wife asks the property to be transferred in her name else she will file dowry case.
                  Men dont fight this injustice and instead give into the demands to get out of this situation, or are not prepared dont take precaution. The police is also very corrupt and plays upon the fear of good citizens. They arrest innocent people and demand money or else they will file charges against them especially in these dowry cases which they know are 90% of the time false. When a husband files for divorce many a times wife files false dowry case on husband and family to take revenge as she is very high on emotions.
                  Ive been through this entire thing but Shukr Alhumdullilah ALLAH s.w.t saved me.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by shehbazthakur View Post
                    For nothing , in my country (india) the wife can make demands, and if the husband fails to provide them then the wife can file a false cases against the husband and his family stating that they would torture the wife and their family for dowry. So police comes and straight away imprisons everyone, the husband, his old parents, even his sister (even if shes married to someone else) under dowry harrassment charges.
                    Many men commit suicide like this. Ive seen cases where husband has property in his name and wife asks the property to be transferred in her name else she will file dowry case.
                    Men dont fight this injustice and instead give into the demands to get out of this situation, or are not prepared dont take precaution. The police is also very corrupt and plays upon the fear of good citizens. They arrest innocent people and demand money or else they will file charges against them especially in these dowry cases which they know are 90% of the time false. When a husband files for divorce many a times wife files false dowry case on husband and family to take revenge as she is very high on emotions.
                    Ive been through this entire thing but Shukr Alhumdullilah ALLAH s.w.t saved me.
                    So you can't divorce her? Can you not talk to an imam and get him involved. Mahr should have been agreed before marriage, have you paid that? Is that what they're asking for?
                    Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Your wife already knows the law very well and will take advantage of such legal terrorism, you may not want to go to court but she can drag you to court. Brother, get an anticipatory bail ASAP. Contact your lawyer.
                      You have 3 options
                      1. Get her back, explain to her with love and kindness and importance of spending quality time together. In the end we all have to die one day, so extra money doesnt matter. Be happy in the moment. Give her your love and be patient with her
                      2. Tell her things arent working out, we need to come up with something that works for both of us or else the purpose of marriage is defeated.

                      the second one is a more harder and courageous choice. No matter what choice you make, please get an anticipatory bail from COURT. If not for you atleast for your old parents and your brothers n sisters sake. Try to record any conversation of she or her family threatening you with cases. Whatsapp or video. Give her all the love first and if she agrees to work things out, then thats the best thing ever. Youve saved yourself great trouble and youre very lucky. If however your wife and family are hell bent on destroying your life, youll have to make sure you have the precautions ready or your life can be really HELL. PLease brother get ANTICIPATORY BAIL, and gather evidences.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by shay5 View Post

                        So you can't divorce her? Can you not talk to an imam and get him involved. Mahr should have been agreed before marriage, have you paid that? Is that what they're asking for?
                        In ISLAM, husband gives Mahr to wife when he marries. Mahr is also called dowry.
                        but in INDIA the culture is the opposite, THE HINDUS take money from wifes family and thats called dowry.
                        in the earlier days the inlaws would torture the wives to demand dowry from her family.
                        So the anti dowry laws were put into place but its very unfair, you can be arrested without any evidence and will kept in police custody till you are taken to the court magistrate.

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                        • #13
                          many women in my country ABUSE this law which was established against HINDU culture, including MUSLIM women to take revenge against their husband in order to gain monetary benefits by extortion, threats and blackmail.

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                          • #14
                            You already made the mistake of marrying someone who was more interested in her job than family. As you have already tried counseling sessions, there is nothing more you can do. What court case are they threatening you about? You are only supposed to pay the mahr and then her expenses during iddah.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by blitz View Post
                              You already made the mistake of marrying someone who was more interested in her job than family. As you have already tried counseling sessions, there is nothing more you can do. What court case are they threatening you about? You are only supposed to pay the mahr and then her expenses during iddah.
                              Mostly its dowry harassment (NOT mahr) and domestic violence

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