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  • Need Help With Marriage

    Hi Guys,

    I am new here so pardon me if i am posting in wrong section. I need help and advice, i was married for 16 years and i got 2 kids unfortunately it ended due to due family fighting etc. Now i am married to another girl who i met from marriage site.

    I told the girl whole situation about myself and she told me that she came in UK on work visa in 2009 then she got stay after 2 years. She told me she got married in 2015 with a divorced guy who already had a son. I asked her why she married to a guy who was divorced and she was never married she said she did not mind and these things does not matter for her. Her marriage ended because of domestic violence on her.

    Anyways we decided to marry each other and we got married one year ago, as soon as she got married and start living with me her she start acting weird every single minor thing she start threatening that she will leave the house or end her life which was very weird for minor things. After few months later i found out that she was married before as well so basically it was her third marriage when i asked her then she start apologising and begging not to leave her she was also threaten me that if i leave her she will tell the police that i hit her as done in the previous marriage. Also shes sex addicted and cant have kids due to hormonal problems

    I got blackmailed and did not leave her i got scared as i never hit anyone in my whole life after that i left her alone and let her do what she was doing i provided her everything and take her out regularly for dinner and cinema etc.

    Last month she said she wanted to do job as she gets bored at home which i permitted her and she found the job and she start going after two days going to job she start acting weird again whenever she come home she start arguing that i should cheer her up whenever she come back home as she gets tired and pain is body i said to her you doing the job for your ownself as you do not need to and should concentrate on your house first as soon as i said this she said she want to leave me which i said thats fine she can leave whenever she wanted that i knew something was fishy.

    She did not leave but apologise for bad behaviour i kept silent and decided to record at home to see what she up to behind my back and i found out that she start having affair with the work guy who was already married with 4 kids and in two days phone conversation they decided to meet each other for wrong doings obviously i stopped that from this happening. could not believe my ears the conversation they were having in 2 days i was like phone sex in simple words.

    Now i want to leave her but she does not let me go or leave me shes begging that she will not do again but i know she will never change i met her ex and he told me shes not good character as she been have affairs with other guys while in marriage.

    Now i am stuck she threats me that she will end her life and also tell the police that i raped her. All her previous marriages lasted for few months i am the longest who lived with her more than a year.

    My family also worried as now she not leaving or letting me go

  • #2
    You picked a really bad apple. She is using extortion and blackmail. You need to dump her fast. That woman is a few inches short of a yard and she could do something drastic to you and herself. Have a law enforcement officer come to the house and then pronounce divorce on her in front of him so she can't do something like scratch herself or you to make it look like you assaulted her. May Allah find an easy way out for you brother.

    Better yet, place a hidden camera on yourself and try to get her to say that she would frame you for rape and assault. Then get the cop to come over.
    Last edited by Musbah; 17-03-19, 07:51 PM.
    "When a man sees the road as long he weakens in his walk." Ibn Qayyim

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by dm100 View Post
      Hi Guys,

      I am new here so pardon me if i am posting in wrong section. I need help and advice, i was married for 16 years and i got 2 kids unfortunately it ended due to due family fighting etc. Now i am married to another girl who i met from marriage site.

      I told the girl whole situation about myself and she told me that she came in UK on work visa in 2009 then she got stay after 2 years. She told me she got married in 2015 with a divorced guy who already had a son. I asked her why she married to a guy who was divorced and she was never married she said she did not mind and these things does not matter for her. Her marriage ended because of domestic violence on her.

      Anyways we decided to marry each other and we got married one year ago, as soon as she got married and start living with me her she start acting weird every single minor thing she start threatening that she will leave the house or end her life which was very weird for minor things. After few months later i found out that she was married before as well so basically it was her third marriage when i asked her then she start apologising and begging not to leave her she was also threaten me that if i leave her she will tell the police that i hit her as done in the previous marriage. Also shes sex addicted and cant have kids due to hormonal problems

      I got blackmailed and did not leave her i got scared as i never hit anyone in my whole life after that i left her alone and let her do what she was doing i provided her everything and take her out regularly for dinner and cinema etc.

      Last month she said she wanted to do job as she gets bored at home which i permitted her and she found the job and she start going after two days going to job she start acting weird again whenever she come home she start arguing that i should cheer her up whenever she come back home as she gets tired and pain is body i said to her you doing the job for your ownself as you do not need to and should concentrate on your house first as soon as i said this she said she want to leave me which i said thats fine she can leave whenever she wanted that i knew something was fishy.

      She did not leave but apologise for bad behaviour i kept silent and decided to record at home to see what she up to behind my back and i found out that she start having affair with the work guy who was already married with 4 kids and in two days phone conversation they decided to meet each other for wrong doings obviously i stopped that from this happening. could not believe my ears the conversation they were having in 2 days i was like phone sex in simple words.

      Now i want to leave her but she does not let me go or leave me shes begging that she will not do again but i know she will never change i met her ex and he told me shes not good character as she been have affairs with other guys while in marriage.

      Now i am stuck she threats me that she will end her life and also tell the police that i raped her. All her previous marriages lasted for few months i am the longest who lived with her more than a year.

      My family also worried as now she not leaving or letting me go
      Make a police report asap! Tell them all the threats and blackmailing attemps. This will be proof that her actions are premeditated if she ever does try to do this. You cant live life like this.

      Comment


      • #4
        Can't believe you haven't gone to the police yet. Record her, go to the police with the evidence. Then tell her you're going to divorce her. Maybe have witnesses while you're there so she doesn't smack her head against a wall and blame you.

        Also if you can, screenshot her 'affair' texts just incase you need more against her. I think she's calling your bluff but it's better to be safe than sorry.

        Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by shay5 View Post
          Can't believe you haven't gone to the police yet. Record her, go to the police with the evidence. Then tell her you're going to divorce her. Maybe have witnesses while you're there so she doesn't smack her head against a wall and blame you.

          Also if you can, screenshot her 'affair' texts just in case you need more against her. I think she's calling your bluff but it's better to be safe than sorry.
          I wanted to go to police but here in UK laws support woman more i been to support workers here they just warned me that i have to be very careful so if i get chance i just move without her knowing. I dont have text messages i have her call recordings where she was talking her work guy.

          She got serious mental problem she lies all the time but when she gets caught she start saying sorry begging that she will not do again try to get sympathy that her life will be destroyed and no one will accept her as we chose each other and her family will not support her. One side she begging for forgiveness the other hand she keep doing the same things but doctor says she does not have mental illness and its our personal matter we have to sort the problem by ourselves

          Comment


          • #6
            This is why you need to videotape her saying all this stuff so you can show the authorities if need be. Man let this be a lesson. Do a more thorough background check on anybody you meet online.
            "When a man sees the road as long he weakens in his walk." Ibn Qayyim

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by dm100 View Post

              I wanted to go to police but here in UK laws support woman more i been to support workers here they just warned me that i have to be very careful so if i get chance i just move without her knowing. I dont have text messages i have her call recordings where she was talking her work guy.

              She got serious mental problem she lies all the time but when she gets caught she start saying sorry begging that she will not do again try to get sympathy that her life will be destroyed and no one will accept her as we chose each other and her family will not support her. One side she begging for forgiveness the other hand she keep doing the same things but doctor says she does not have mental illness and its our personal matter we have to sort the problem by ourselves
              Either go to the police or get advice from a lawyer. Is it your house or hers? Are you able to just pack up and leave? Did she threaten her last husband with the same?
              Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Musbah View Post
                This is why you need to videotape her saying all this stuff so you can show the authorities if need be. Man let this be a lesson. Do a more thorough background check on anybody you meet online.

                I have videos where she begging for forgiveness and also threat to commit suicide but my support worker says recording someone without there permission is crime in UK so it can go against me ye lesson learnt i have no family here so i had very limited resources to find about her as she was from different city

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by shay5 View Post

                  Either go to the police or get advice from a lawyer. Is it your house or hers? Are you able to just pack up and leave? Did she threaten her last husband with the same?
                  Threaten ? She sent him to jail just making allegation of rape and also his parents for not her letting go outside

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by dm100 View Post

                    Threaten ? She sent him to jail just making allegation of rape and also his parents for not her letting go outside
                    You need to go to the police, you need to be 10 steps ahead of her. Don't live in fear.
                    Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      wow theres so many of these types online. acting perfect before marriage then turning into complete psychos after marriage.
                      is no one safe anymore :(

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by dm100 View Post

                        Threaten ? She sent him to jail just making allegation of rape and also his parents for not her letting go outside
                        OMG you need to get the police involved seriously you have to. This is mental abuse, get a restraining order. How do you even sleep knowing she could flip the switch and ruin you at anytime. Make a move so you can live your life

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Get a lawyer and ask him what is the best way to go about it. You have already endured this for a year so don't act rashly now. Be smart about it. Let her do whatever she wants for now and in the meanwhile discuss the best course of action with the lawyer. I feel like if you go to the police directly, then she'll probably falsely accuse you of something and it'll be a matter of he said, she said. Talk to a lawyer and show him all the evidence you have. Let this be a lesson for the future.

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