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The horror stories behind Polygamy in Canada

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  • The horror stories behind Polygamy in Canada

    So where I Live in the West by law it is illegal to get married a second, third or fourth time. It’s is punishable by the law and can give you a 5 years sentence to prison. Despite this law, I have seen several Muslim man who have married a second wife. The problem here is not the Islamic concept of polygamy which has its respectful place in it. But the fact that the men’s I have seen do this, have stopped fullfilling their role and support for their first wife. Their first marriage automatically goes in scrambles. The first wife end up asking for divorce not long after. I know what I’m talking about because it happened to a relative of mine. She had it announced to her like it was some new perfume he just bought. He stopped looking after her financially and only cares to take his son from her if she asks for divorce. This scares her and so far she has complied to his whims and blackmailing techniques. What I find unfortunate is that Muslim men’s who are going after the idea of a second marriage are not even stable financially and are barely making it alive in their current life. This concept of polygamy seems to inspire some screwed up ideas in the Ummah instead of making things better. The worst is when these stories make the news, white folks in the west have a leverage to pinpoint Muslims and create more barbaric laws against Muslim women not men. We as women take the hit automatically in society at large because of a few lose screws that make the news. I also want to point out that the imams who perform those second marriage are not licensed or recognized by the government. So since these marriages are not registered it easy to rip of the women. An Imam in France also had stated this fact that people in the Ummah like to play with this. They do nikah and don’t register so that if things go sour the woman cannot claim anything legally or demand legal help since her marriage was never recognized by the state. This Imam in France condemned this type of behaviour and so did the Imams in my country.
    Some women in Canada's Muslim community who learned their husbands are married to second wives believe this is their own #MeToo moment, an opportunity to speak out and demand an end to the practice of polygamy in their community.

  • #2
    legal help

    we dont split 50 50 and do pre nups like kuffs

    dont marry a guy whos gonna take advantage of u
    the wali should look into him properly
    do backround checks see if hes financially stable
    and get references

    1st wife should not ask for divorce unless she is not getting her rights

    u can ask for high mahr to support your self if divorce occurs
    it will also deterr him from divorce

    this is why living some where
    where this is sharia is important
    if a muslima gets divorced she will get help from the state/ muslim government
    ie if shes homeless, needs money etc etc
    Last edited by Abu julaybeeb; 14-03-19, 07:03 PM.

    Comment


    • #3
      I would like to add that some men now a days don’t even mention they have a first wife. We had the surprise of a lifetime when discovering a guy was still married while claiming to be divorced. He wanted to add a second wife to his collection. Beware they are creeps out there!!!
      marriage based on lies is not considered marriage

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
        legal help

        we dont split 50 50 and do pre nups like kuffs

        dont marry a guy whos gonna take advantage of u
        the wali should look into him properly
        do backround checks see if hes financially stable
        and get references

        1st wife should not ask for divorce unless she is not getting her rights

        u can ask for high mahr to support your self if divorce occurs
        it will also deterr him from divorce

        this is why living some where
        where this is sharia is important
        if a muslima gets divorced she will get help from the state/ muslim government
        ie if shes homeless, needs money etc etc
        She is allowed to have divorce if she cannot tolerate polygamy, i read this on islamqa,

        Also there maybe no pre-up but there are marriage contracts. This means you can stipulate things before marriage to protect yourself from things you don't want, and a Muslim husband must honour the contract from what I read on Islamqa too.

        Cos Muslims must honour their contracts.
        وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

        And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


        أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

        Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


        Please take a look at my travel booking website : https://destinationfindertravel.com/

        Please take a look at my blog : http://thinkingmuslima.blogspot.co.uk/

        Comment


        • #5
          Theres this sister on social media who got divorced and has an abusive husband and his family. She was putting her view across saying that if someone has abused you, you've had children, and now you are divorced, as a women don't let them ruin your life even more. So take all the money you can and let him start from scratch lol. The way she said it made sense.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by LailaTheMuslim View Post

            She is allowed to have divorce if she cannot tolerate polygamy, i read this on islamqa,

            Also there maybe no pre-up but there are marriage contracts. This means you can stipulate things before marriage to protect yourself from things you don't want, and a Muslim husband must honour the contract from what I read on Islamqa too.

            Cos Muslims must honour their contracts.
            she can
            but if its extremely unbearable like its gonna break the marriage
            she shouldnt request divorce for minor things

            yh your right

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by usernametaken View Post
              Theres this sister on social media who got divorced and has an abusive husband and his family. She was putting her view across saying that if someone has abused you, you've had children, and now you are divorced, as a women don't let them ruin your life even more. So take all the money you can and let him start from scratch lol. The way she said it made sense.
              thats not from islam
              thats from her nafs

              and a good muslim wont ruin the life of his ex wife
              hel divorce on good terms

              Comment


              • #8
                Just cause Canada outlawed polygamy it doesn't mean it's wrong to get a 2nd wife.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

                  thats not from islam
                  thats from her nafs

                  and a good muslim wont ruin the life of his ex wife
                  hel divorce on good terms
                  True.
                  Shes talking about the ones that take advantage and ruin lives.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
                    Just cause Canada outlawed polygamy it doesn't mean it's wrong to get a 2nd wife.
                    u can do zina but cant get married till 18
                    you can have affairs but cant have a 2nd wife

                    makes so much sense
                    omg democracy for the win

                    dumb kufr laws
                    soon enough youl have marriages between 3 or 4 people

                    and the muslims that think they have to obey them in this need to read quran

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by usernametaken View Post

                      True.
                      Shes talking about the ones that take advantage and ruin lives.
                      still not right
                      shel also get it on yawmul qiyama

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Even though polygamy is permissible ... i dont like it when a man marries a second wife who happens ro be his office affair behind his wirst wife.
                        it gives polygamy a bad name.
                        Polygamy is commendable when a man is able to marry the first wife who is a divorcee with 2 children and then he marries a second wife who is a widow with 1 child. Etc etc. He is doing a service to the ummah and to these women by raising their children.
                        . But if people do the polygamy of the first type ... then a lot of people will protest against polygamy and if polygamy is outlawed then my divorced and widowed sisters who have children will suffer the
                        consequence.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by LailaTheMuslim View Post

                          She is allowed to have divorce if she cannot tolerate polygamy, i read this on islamqa,
                          Can you link to me this fatwa ?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Small fluff View Post
                            So where I Live in the West by law it is illegal to get married a second, third or fourth time. It’s is punishable by the law and can give you a 5 years sentence to prison. Despite this law, I have seen several Muslim man who have married a second wife. The problem here is not the Islamic concept of polygamy which has its respectful place in it. But the fact that the men’s I have seen do this, have stopped fullfilling their role and support for their first wife. Their first marriage automatically goes in scrambles. The first wife end up asking for divorce not long after. I know what I’m talking about because it happened to a relative of mine. She had it announced to her like it was some new perfume he just bought. He stopped looking after her financially and only cares to take his son from her if she asks for divorce. This scares her and so far she has complied to his whims and blackmailing techniques. What I find unfortunate is that Muslim men’s who are going after the idea of a second marriage are not even stable financially and are barely making it alive in their current life. This concept of polygamy seems to inspire some screwed up ideas in the Ummah instead of making things better. The worst is when these stories make the news, white folks in the west have a leverage to pinpoint Muslims and create more barbaric laws against Muslim women not men. We as women take the hit automatically in society at large because of a few lose screws that make the news. I also want to point out that the imams who perform those second marriage are not licensed or recognized by the government. So since these marriages are not registered it easy to rip of the women. An Imam in France also had stated this fact that people in the Ummah like to play with this. They do nikah and don’t register so that if things go sour the woman cannot claim anything legally or demand legal help since her marriage was never recognized by the state. This Imam in France condemned this type of behaviour and so did the Imams in my country.
                            2 things are wrong.

                            1) If polygamy is done by deceit i.e the woman being married is not told about the first wife.
                            2) the rights are not upheld.

                            Other than that, there is absolutely no problem with men practicing polygamy. The fact of the matter is that the number of muslim women is more than muslim men in the west so the practicing muslim women are having a crisis. Thats why these women agree to engage in polygamy in the first place knowingly. Imams cant do anything here. In Islam, Nikah is just a contract that does not need Imam or any state interference, two parties can simply agree on Nikah and its done. Now ofcourse, such Nikahs are not protected by the state's laws but that is the cost of living in non-muslim societies. Likewise a registered marriage too is not governed by Islamic Laws and a muslim man is robbed of his right in case of divorce. So the western laws are unjust to both men and also to women(who want to engage in polygamy). Therefore it is the West that has created these BARBARIC LAWS by refusing to recognize polygamy. If they recognize polygamy and give muslims a right to have their own personal law, the women engaging in polygamy would have a legal cover and protection. So the blame is upon these BARBARIC SECULAR LAWS not Islam.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by savo234 View Post

                              Can you link to me this fatwa ?
                              https://islamqa.info/en/answers/1863...-a-second-wife

                              They say (if you scroll down):

                              But if it so happens that a woman cannot put up with that and the fears that she will not be able to fulfil her husband’s rights over her if he takes a second wife, then she may request khula‘ and return the mahr to the husband, because of the report narrated by al-Bukhaari (48677) from Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allah be pleased with him), according to which the wife of Thaabit ibn Qays came to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) “O Messenger of Allah, I do not find any fault with Thaabit ibn Qays in his character or his religious commitment, but I do not want to commit any act of kufr after becoming a Muslim.” The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to her, “Will you give back his garden?” Because he had given her a garden as her mahr. She said, “Yes.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to Thaabit: “Take back your garden, and divorce her.”.

                              Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The words “but I do not want to commit any act of kufr after becoming a Muslim” mean: If I stay with him, I would hate to fall into anything that constitutes kufr. It is as if she was indicating that her intense dislike of him might prompt her to make an outward display of kufr so that her marriage to him would be annulled. She knew that that was haraam, but she feared that intense hatred might push her to do that. Or it may be that what she meant by kufr was ingratitude to her husband, which refers to the wife falling short in fulfilling the rights of the husband.
                              وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

                              And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


                              أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

                              Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


                              Please take a look at my travel booking website : https://destinationfindertravel.com/

                              Please take a look at my blog : http://thinkingmuslima.blogspot.co.uk/

                              Comment

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