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  • Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
    I'm really curious to know, what are the circumstances of sisters who are in their late 20s or early 30s and still unmarried?

    Have they simply not been able to find anyone all these years?

    Or perhaps they had lots of good potentials in their early 20s whom they rejected and they are now paying the price?

    Or perhaps they wanted to focus on education and career?

    Do enlighten me.

    But know this, delaying marriage intentionally and marrying late is from the way of the kuffar.
    I can only speak for myself.

    Arranged marriage. Didn't get on/culture clash (he was a good man nontheless). Single due to not settling. If I was to settle; I would've just stayed married. Yes life gets lonely, but a lifetime of misery is not worth it. I'll be happier staying with my family.

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    • Originally posted by Khamsa_khmis View Post

      Au contraire, my fellow Muslims telling me my chances at finding a single man to marry are slim due to being divorced and 30 is not the emphasis of marriage in Islam.
      If you're looking for a "progressive" Muslim man, you're in luck. No shortage of those.

      Don't expect much in the way of Deen though from him.

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      • Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post

        Sad day when muslims look up to fornicating kuffar.
        Honestly it's sad times whem my Muslim brothers are kicking us to the curb like trash, and a kuffar of stature & wealth like Prince Harry puts more value on a woman regardless of her race, creed or AGE.

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        • Originally posted by Khamsa_khmis View Post

          I can only speak for myself.

          Arranged marriage. Didn't get on/culture clash (he was a good man nontheless). Single due to not settling. If I was to settle; I would've just stayed married. Yes life gets lonely, but a lifetime of misery is not worth it. I'll be happier staying with my family.
          May I ask what made you marry him? Were you forced?

          You shouldn't settle. But it also depends on your criteria and whether they are realistic or necessary.
          ​​​​​

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          • Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post

            If you're looking for a "progressive" Muslim man, you're in luck. No shortage of those.

            Don't expect much in the way of Deen though from him.
            You're very 'judgy' Stoic lol. You put people in boxes. It's a big world out there, my dear 25 year old brother.

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            • Originally posted by Khamsa_khmis View Post

              Honestly it's sad times whem my Muslim brothers are kicking us to the curb like trash, and a kuffar of stature & wealth like Prince Harry puts more value on a woman regardless of her race, creed or AGE.
              Prince Harry is a dirty fornicator who has probably slept with dozens of women. That's why he could care less about her age or race. He's already had women of every type.

              You would be better off with one of those Muslim brothers than someone like him.

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              • Originally posted by Khamsa_khmis View Post

                You're very 'judgy' Stoic lol.
                Yes, I usually am. But not in this case.

                ​​​​​​

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                • Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post

                  May I ask what made you marry him? Were you forced?

                  You shouldn't settle. But it also depends on your criteria and whether they are realistic or necessary.
                  ​​​​​
                  Wanted to please my parents. Also, got caught up in the whole having a wedding, celebration thing. When the party was over reality kicked in.

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                  • Originally posted by Khamsa_khmis View Post

                    Au contraire, my fellow Muslims telling me my chances at finding a single man to marry are slim due to being divorced and 30 is not the emphasis of marriage in Islam.
                    We are talking about an average case of men preferring to marry younger women. It doesnt mean that we are telling you that your chances to marry a GOOD MUSLIM MAN are less. There can be a perfectly good capable, loving husband who is divorced or who wants to take a second wife or who is older.

                    You are the one who is fixated on this whole thing that single youngrer men would line up while its just not the average case and on top of it you are idealizing the way of kuffaf. Infact in Islam, if a woman has to choose between compatible older or already married man and an incompatible less practicing single man, the former would be preferable.

                    Last edited by savo234; 19-03-19, 09:23 AM.

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                    • Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post

                      Prince Harry is a dirty fornicator who has probably slept with dozens of women. That's why he could care less about her age or race. He's already had women of every type.

                      You would be better off with one of those Muslim brothers than someone like him.
                      But thats the thing. He is a kuffar right? This man does not live by Islamic/religious guidlines. He can do what he wants, when he wants, yet he still has chisen to marry this woman.

                      Your point is only invalid because there are Muslim men out there whom have slept with every walking thing they could, yet when they chose to marry its back to the backwards 'she must be young' criteria, usually encouraged by family. This is what i mean by civilised and progressive thinking. If a man solely has an inclination/preference towards a younger woman, that's a different story and his complete perogative.

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                      • Originally posted by Khamsa_khmis View Post

                        You're very 'judgy' Stoic lol. You put people in boxes. It's a big world out there, my dear 25 year old brother.
                        Interesting.

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                        • Originally posted by savo234 View Post

                          We are talking about an average case of men preferring to marry younger women. It doesnt mean that we are telling you that your chances to marry a GOOD MUSLIM MAN are less. There can be a perfectly good capable, loving husband who is divorced or who wants to take a second wife or who is older.

                          You are the one who is fixated on this whole thing that single young men would line up while its just not the average case and on top of it you are idealizing the way of kuffaf. Infact in Islam, if a woman has to choose between compatible older or already married man and an incompatible less practicing single man, the former would be preferable.

                          Being divorced I would only marry a fellow divorcee or perhaps a widower.

                          How many times do I need to mention the preferences? Everybody has them. Are your fingers all the same length? Well neither are peoples choices.

                          Yes, I do agree with the westerns world idea of love minus the zina of course because its fair and just. I dont agree with the way many Muslims look at marriage because 9 times out of 10 its cultural and outside of the perimeters of Islam and Sunnah. Just like the idea that a woman has passed her cell by date at 30 and should just give in and be a 2nd or 3rd or 4th wife cos no single mans gonna want her. It's just not true and the proof is out there. People are living it.

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                          • Originally posted by savo234 View Post

                            We are talking about an average case of men preferring to marry younger women. It doesnt mean that we are telling you that your chances to marry a GOOD MUSLIM MAN are less. There can be a perfectly good capable, loving husband who is divorced or who wants to take a second wife or who is older.

                            You are the one who is fixated on this whole thing that single youngrer men would line up while its just not the average case and on top of it you are idealizing the way of kuffaf. Infact in Islam, if a woman has to choose between compatible older or already married man and an incompatible less practicing single man, the former would be preferable.
                            Also, to all the polygamy warriors on here, do you not care what bringing another woman into your marriage could do to your first wife? The way that could break her heart and damage her psyche? Its easy for you to just say well "Its Sunnah", but Allah swt told men to think twice about it for a reason.

                            This is why wealthy men do polygamy best. Money makes things better, it just does. The average man will break his wifes heart, trust and love for him if he married another woman, not to mention, she will have to cut her household finances in half. No woman will ever be happy with that. I'm so over this topic my head hurts :'(

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                            • Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post

                              There was also polygamy at that time.
                              And divorced women and widows were not looked down upon at that time. They would still get proposals. If the intention of men of today was really to help society by practising polygamy then they would marry widows and divorcees with children who need someone to provide for them. I don’t see how someone marrying a 20 year old is going to help the society. They only do it fo the sake of their desires. Sure islamically we can’t say this is wrong, but if someone wants to practice polygamy at least do it to help those women that really do need it.

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                              • Originally posted by savo234 View Post

                                We are talking about an average case of men preferring to marry younger women. It doesnt mean that we are telling you that your chances to marry a GOOD MUSLIM MAN are less. There can be a perfectly good capable, loving husband who is divorced or who wants to take a second wife or who is older.

                                You are the one who is fixated on this whole thing that single youngrer men would line up while its just not the average case and on top of it you are idealizing the way of kuffaf. Infact in Islam, if a woman has to choose between compatible older or already married man and an incompatible less practicing single man, the former would be preferable.
                                I think your the one who’s fixated on telling women what kind of men would want them when they reach a certain age. All people get married at any age. It’s qadr of Allah. Just because women reach 30 it doesn’t mean they get pushed to the side and only good for divorcees or be Someone’s second wife.

                                Well of course we’re not saying we don’t want older guys. Just stop putting women down because of their age. At least the kuffar don’t have this backwards mentality am seeing on here. This is definitely not Islamic way of thinking. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but sometimes use wisdom to get your point across. It saddens me to see that you Muslim men should be the better example, but your just not. Your making the kaffirs look better because they don’t put women down for their age. Unlike the Muslim community who’s obsessed with telling women there not good enough if there divorced or have children or they reach a certain age. They completely disregard the woman’s situation, this is not from Islam.

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