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A Letter to My future wife

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  • A Letter to My future wife

    My dear future wife. I have so many things to say to you. I dont know when we shall meet in the future. My excitement knows no bounds. So ive decided to write this blog and when I finally get to meet you, I will share this with you. There are some things I can only share with you. These are my deepest innermost feelings, you hold a special place in my heart and you get the keys to it.

    I see a lot of fighting going on today between men and women. I see women who are feminists in an ideological battle with men and masculinity, redefining societal standards and norms and I see a lot of misinformation being thrown around about how men have been oppressing women for centuries. This system of “oppression” created by men is termed as the patriarchy.

    Well If i said that men didnt oppress women in the past that would be incorrect. Its against my principles to raise my hand on a woman, I donot support any form of violence on women. But to say that the system of living was created for oppressing women is also incorrect. In the past men and women have adapted ways and means to survive and carry out tasks in an efficient way. This in our modern time we call it division of labor. The men would go out hunting while the women would cook and take care of the young and weak. It was a difficult and dangerous world. There was constant danger of wild animals, robbers from other tribes. There was no army or police. On top of that there were epidemics and famines. The survival rate of children was very low. We had no vaccines back then. Out of 10 only 3 or 4 survived. Our ancestors were wise, the division of labor was perfect. It was the only way to survive. We human beings are biologically inclined to take certain roles. And by abiding by these roles the human civilization have survived to this day. Women were the caretakers and men were the guardian and providers.

    The purpose of a man, my purpose is to protect my family, it is to protect you. Feminists say that they dont need the protection of men, that men and women are equal. By robbing me of my purpose, you are taking away my drive. You are emasculating me. That is the purpose which is granted by Allah swt. Its not my egoistic need to dominate and oppress you. Me being your guardian and protector gives me access to infinite power. It pushes me beyond my limits, to walk the road less travelled. Me being your “hero” is a great source of energy and strength, strength which I would be deprived of if you take it away from me. On many occasions I am scared to take risks, but I would give my life to protect you. I would endure torture to protect you. These feminist have no job but to emasculate men and destroy civilization.

    Ofcourse now a days women can work. I mean the kind of jobs that are out there dont really require physical exertion. Men can do programming jobs and so can women. Men can teach and so can women. Men can work as doctors and so can women. In some fields women are essential, like gynecologists or maybe for treating things like breast cancer. The living norms have changed but biologically we are still the same. Women are still attracted to men who are rich or physically strong. Men are attracted to women who are homely / feminine / soft / caring. Women need security/stability from men. Men look for physical needs and domestic comfort. Of course women too have physical needs. Somewhere down the road women felt unappreciated for their roles as housewives and decided to stand up for themselves and gave rise to the feminist movement. I think to a certain extent thats okay. My dear wife, if you have dreams, goals and ambitions then I would hate to quash them, because I would hate it if someone did that to me. But If you’re doing a job because it makes you feel important and doing housework makes you feel less important and worthless, or maybe you lookdown upon the role of a housewife, maybe you’ve seen that your own mom who is probably a housewife is not appreciated and she is probably taken for granted, then you wouldnt get very far in your career.

    Whatever it is you do, have strong reasons for doing it. If i am going to the gym, I do so not because I want to impress the ladies, but because working out boosts my energy levels and gives me a body that can endure lifes struggles. I want to be fit even when I am 50 so i can play with my kids even at that age. I have other plans. To teach under underprivileged kids from poor families. Plus I wanna be your protector, your hero. Your role is an important one. you shall be the mother of my children. Who will educate them with the knowledge of the Quran. (Ofcourse I will do my part in it as well). You have a responsibilty as well. But i dont want to overburden you with responsibility. We will be sharing them all together. We musnt fight on with each other like feminists fight men. You have the man haters, who care about themselves more than a relationship, thinking men are expendable and they dont need them on the one hand, and you have misogynists women hating men on the other hand.

    Why mustn’t we fight. Because we have a common enemy. Shaitaan. He is our true enemy and we must team up and fight him. Allah has created us and he knows the nature of men and women. He has made a guideline for us all. Let us follow it. Youre my wife, the one half of my deen.

  • #2
    the flip

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    • #3
      That's ... insightful.

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      • #4
        why not write it on paper or in a diary

        did u copy the poem -mujahid letter to wife lol

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        • #5
          Its a post from my blog. I want to share my thoughts. Let me know what you think about it.

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          • #6


            Why not just tell her you want a stay at home wife.
            Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

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            • #7
              Sounds very indirect. Will you show this to your future wife before or after marrying her (if you will). Talking about vaccines and past survival rates is... weird.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
                the flip
                Lol @ your response!!!

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                • #9
                  maybe make it like anne franks diary


                  this is so weird

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                  • #10
                    Hope she finds the time to read it.

                    Wouldn't it be better if she knew the roles and responsibilities/duties of husband and wife before she married you.

                    Can't she go to a female only gym to stay healthy?

                    I think your last paragraph should be the first paragraph.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
                      maybe make it like anne franks diary


                      this is so weird
                      It's not "weird".

                      Why would he make it like he's being persecuted by Nazis - that's weird.

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                      • #12
                        Your future wife is going to laugh her head off ....lets hope she's not a feminist

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                        • #13
                          Your "deepest innermost feelings" are that you don't expect your wife to work? ..shocking!

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Indefinable View Post

                            It's not "weird".

                            Why would he make it like he's being persecuted by Nazis - that's weird.
                            it is weird

                            no as write it like a diary style

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                            • #15
                              This reminds me of the mushy stuff that use to be posted on here by brothers and sisters. Maybe it's just me, but things like this make me feel awkward and well...

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                              If your wife is into these things, then it's fine to give it to her. Alhamdulillah you're the type who is into his feelings and wants to share them. That's an admirable trait to have. But what would happen if she reads it and disagrees with a few points here and there? What if she doesn't want to call you her hero....

                              InshaaAllah someone can give you a proper critique. I tried, but it's too awkward and mushy for me. Not that this is a bad thing, it's just something that I personally can't handle.
                              مَّن ذَا الَّذِي يُقْرِضُ اللّهَ قَرْضًا حَسَنًا فَيُضَاعِفَهُ لَهُ أَضْعَافًا كَثِيرَةً وَاللّهُ يَقْبِضُ وَيَبْسُطُ وَإِلَيْهِ تُرْجَعُونَ

                              "Who is he that will loan to Allah a beautiful loan, which Allah will double unto his credit and multiply many times?
                              It is Allah that giveth (you) Want or plenty, and to Him shall be your return."
                              Surah al-Baqarah
                              [2:245]

                              .:.
                              .:. Perfer et Obdura : Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim .:.
                              Be patient and strong : someday this pain will be useful to you

                              .:.
                              ...said the spider to the fly...

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