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Wanting to marry a talib/talibah of knowledge

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  • #31
    Originally posted by Indefinable View Post

    Skinny jeans - they're the really tight ones, aren't they?
    Yes. But he is saying it's "HARAAM" to wear skinny jeans infront of your "PARENTS" ?

    isn't that what he said or I got it wrong ?

    Comment


    • #32
      Originally posted by Farah. A View Post

      Yes. But he is saying it's "HARAAM" to wear skinny jeans infront of your "PARENTS" ?

      isn't that what he said or I got it wrong ?
      That's what the brother is saying.

      You can only wear those kind of clothes in front of your husband.

      (As some Muslims believe).

      Comment


      • #33
        Originally posted by Indefinable View Post

        That's what the brother is saying.

        You can only wear those kind of clothes in front of your husband.

        (As some Muslims believe).
        I am not arguing anyway. I am just asking for a daleel. A verse from the Quran or a hadith. Because you can't say that something is haraam without giving a daleel.

        Comment


        • #34
          Originally posted by Farah. A View Post

          I am not arguing anyway. I am just asking for a daleel. A verse from the Quran or a hadith. Because you can't say that something is haraam without giving a daleel.
          https://www.google.com/amp/s/islamqa...answers/220174

          Have a look at the link above.

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          • #35
            Was about to post that link above. (Jazaa'akillah Khair) also other rulings from madhaahib we can find online ruling to the same effect.

            It does come across rude / argumentative, the posts that have been made, hopefully without intent. Could just be the kind of thing that happens when we have texts and some of us are more blunt than others...

            ​​​​​​For the benefit of myself and sister Farah though, Ml Abu Mus'ab is himself a scholar. Whatever our views on certain things (even if correct, which isn't actually the case here), there's an extra level of regard for that we ought to at least try to have, inshaaAllah.
            LAA ILAAHA ILLALLAH
            -------------------------------
            "And if you would count the graces of God, never could you be able to count them. Truly, God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Qur'aan 16:18)
            NOTE: Please kindly do NOT rep my posts. (Jazaa'akumullah).

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            • #36
              Originally posted by Fakhri View Post
              Was about to post that link above. (Jazaa'akillah Khair) also other rulings from madhaahib we can find online ruling to the same effect.

              It does come across rude / argumentative, the posts that have been made, hopefully without intent. Could just be the kind of thing that happens when we have texts and some of us are more blunt than others...

              ​​​​​​For the benefit of myself and sister Farah though, Ml Abu Mus'ab is himself a scholar. Whatever our views on certain things (even if correct, which isn't actually the case here), there's an extra level of regard for that we ought to at least try to have, inshaaAllah.
              I didn't say anything that was rude or argumentative. Please read carefully before you say such words.
              I have made it clear that I am not arguing I just hate when someone say that something is Haraam without following it with a Daleel.

              Anyway here is the daleel فقد روى مسلم في صحيحه عن أبي هريرة ـ رضي الله عنه ـ قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: صنفان من أهل النار لم أرهما: قوم معهم سياط كأذناب البقر يضربون بها الناس، ونساء كاسيات عاريات مائلات مميلات، رؤوسهن كأسنمة البخت المائلة، لا يدخلن الجنة ولا يجدن ريحها، وإن ريحها ليوجد من مسيرة كذا وكذا

              ​​​​​​In order not to be from the كاسيات عاريات you should cover your Awrah with clothes that aren't transparent or so tight that they show the shape of the Awrah.
              scholars had different opinions regarding the Awrah. All of them agreed that you shouldn't show any part of your thigh infront of your Maharaam but they didn't agree if you should show under your knees or not.

              so chill bro Fakhri. This is how should Muslims recieve information from anyone. If you clam it's haraam follow it with a daleel. It's aa simple as that.

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              • #37
                I suppose this isnt only for (aspiring) students of knowledge but also for the muhajirun
                Please visit my Youtube cooking channel

                https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiv...YMkhbbgtX-lL8Q

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                • #38
                  Originally posted by A.Basheer View Post

                  Good to hear, masha Allah.

                  So the point of the thread is that a "student of knowledge" should also be thoroughly examined. In fact, one brother who is overseas now recently posted: "Brothers using da'wah to draw in sisters? Sisters don't be amused by some Arabic and someone going overseas for a few days. Studying Arabic does not make you righteous and not every student of knowledge acts upon his knowledge."

                  So that is a summary of my post. Not to bash on bros studying overseas or trying to show them all in a negative light. There are very good ones, esp. in the Islamic University of Madinah.

                  I have heard of far more Madinah University male students using their studying in Madinah as a way to "trap" sisters especially reverts.

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Originally posted by Farah. A View Post

                    I didn't say anything that was rude or argumentative. Please read carefully before you say such words.
                    I have made it clear that I am not arguing I just hate when someone say that something is Haraam without following it with a Daleel.

                    Anyway here is the daleel فقد روى مسلم في صحيحه عن أبي هريرة ـ رضي الله عنه ـ قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: صنفان من أهل النار لم أرهما: قوم معهم سياط كأذناب البقر يضربون بها الناس، ونساء كاسيات عاريات مائلات مميلات، رؤوسهن كأسنمة البخت المائلة، لا يدخلن الجنة ولا يجدن ريحها، وإن ريحها ليوجد من مسيرة كذا وكذا

                    ​​​​​​In order not to be from the كاسيات عاريات you should cover your Awrah with clothes that aren't transparent or so tight that they show the shape of the Awrah.
                    scholars had different opinions regarding the Awrah. All of them agreed that you shouldn't show any part of your thigh infront of your Maharaam but they didn't agree if you should show under your knees or not.

                    so chill bro Fakhri. This is how should Muslims recieve information from anyone. If you clam it's haraam follow it with a daleel. It's aa simple as that.
                    ​​​​​
                    If you weren't being rude or argumentative, alhamdulillah. That's great. Hopefully it's just me who wrongly got that impression and Ml Abu Mus'ab and anyone else didn't.
                    LAA ILAAHA ILLALLAH
                    -------------------------------
                    "And if you would count the graces of God, never could you be able to count them. Truly, God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Qur'aan 16:18)
                    NOTE: Please kindly do NOT rep my posts. (Jazaa'akumullah).

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      I'd love to marry a student of knowledge/scholar tbh.

                      Because they are so busy and are beneficial (if they are sincere) so I can - a) have free time to occupy my own goals if the husband is busy with his
                      b) be with someone who is religiously minded so they are good companionship.


                      Lol but I am the opposite of these scholars/students. I am so basic in my knowledge, the one thing that Allah has given me religious blessings with is having trials/illnesses and this taught me some islamic qualities.
                      وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

                      And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


                      أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

                      Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


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                      Please take a look at my blog : http://thinkingmuslima.blogspot.co.uk/

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Originally posted by Abu Mus'ab View Post

                        I'll give you an example.

                        I went to a marriage meeting, during the course of the discussion the issue of clothing came up, so even though she was wearing an abaayah at the time, she told me that she wears skinny jeans at home. So I told her that's not on, because it's haraam to dress like that in front of her own parents what still about mine.
                        .
                        I'm curious how this topic even come up in your conversation. Did you ask her directly what type of clothes she wears of home? o_0

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Originally posted by LailaTheMuslim View Post
                          I'd love to marry a student of knowledge/scholar tbh.

                          Because they are so busy and are beneficial (if they are sincere) so I can - a) have free time to occupy my own goals if the husband is busy with his
                          b) be with someone who is religiously minded so they are good companionship.


                          Lol but I am the opposite of these scholars/students. I am so basic in my knowledge, the one thing that Allah has given me religious blessings with is having trials/illnesses and this taught me some islamic qualities.
                          But what about when you and your kids need them? For example, I had gone to 9 or 10 people of knowledge in the community to be my wali and none of them were able to properly help. Many of them were too busy to help, so when I'd try to get in contact, there was no reply. I dealt with men on my own. I couldn't help but wonder how it must feel to be a family member or a wife. Of course they can prioritize and aren't going to give some revert and their family the same amount of attention, but I really doubt this doesn't spill into their personal life. That must be a trial on it's own.
                          "Had Allah lifted the veil for his slave and shown him how He handles his affairs for him, and how Allah is more keen for the benefit of the slave than his own self, his heart would have melted out of the love for Allah and would have been torn to pieces out of thankfulness to Allah. Therefore if the pains of this world tire you do not grieve. For it may be that Allah wishes to hear your voice by way of duaa. So pour out your desires in prostration and forget about it and know; that verily Allah does not forget it."
                          - Ibn al Qayyim (rahimahullah)

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Originally posted by .khayriyyah. View Post

                            But what about when you and your kids need them? For example, I had gone to 9 or 10 people of knowledge in the community to be my wali and none of them were able to properly help. Many of them were too busy to help, so when I'd try to get in contact, there was no reply. I dealt with men on my own. I couldn't help but wonder how it must feel to be a family member or a wife. Of course they can prioritize and aren't going to give some revert and their family the same amount of attention, but I really doubt this doesn't spill into their personal life. That must be a trial on it's own.
                            In the West (or America at least) there is a big contrast in the lives of imams/shuyookh/people of knowledge between the phase of their lives when they were actively studying and seeking knowledge and when they are done with that phase and work full time. They have much more time for their families and personal interests while working - at least from what I've seen.

                            I think salaries (and big ones at that) distract many people from the real essence of the job, which is to help the community and fulfill their needs. The mindset becomes that of serving oneself and his or her needs and protecting their job instead of helping those who need it.

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              Originally posted by Juwairiyyah View Post

                              I'm curious how this topic even come up in your conversation. Did you ask her directly what type of clothes she wears of home? o_0
                              that would probably be an alright question to avoid a wife thats in sweatpants all the time lol
                              Please visit my Youtube cooking channel

                              https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiv...YMkhbbgtX-lL8Q

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                              • #45
                                Originally posted by .khayriyyah. View Post

                                But what about when you and your kids need them? For example, I had gone to 9 or 10 people of knowledge in the community to be my wali and none of them were able to properly help. Many of them were too busy to help, so when I'd try to get in contact, there was no reply. I dealt with men on my own. I couldn't help but wonder how it must feel to be a family member or a wife. Of course they can prioritize and aren't going to give some revert and their family the same amount of attention, but I really doubt this doesn't spill into their personal life. That must be a trial on it's own.
                                Reminds me of a hadith i read the other day

                                149. Abu Juhaifah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) made a bond of brotherhood between Salman and Abud-Darda'. Salman paid a visit to Abud-Darda' and found Umm Darda' (his wife) dressed in shabby clothes and asked her why she was in that state. She replied: "Your brother Abud-Darda' is not interested in (the luxuries of) this world. In the meantime Abud-Darda' came in and prepared a meal for Salman. Salman requested Abud-Darda' to eat (with him) but Abud-Darda' said: "I am fasting.'' Salman said: "I am not going to eat unless you eat.'' So, Abud-Darda' ate (with Salman). When it was night and (a part of the night passed), Abud-Darda' got up (to offer the night prayer) but Salman asked him to sleep and Abud-Darda' slept. After some time Abud-Darda' again got up but Salman asked him to sleep. When it was the last hours of the night, Salman asked him to get up and both of them offered (Tahajjud) prayer. Then Salman told Abud-Darda': "You owe a duty to your Rubb, you owe a duty to your body; you owe a duty to your family; so you should give to every one his due. Abud-Darda' came to the Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) and reported the whole story. Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said,"Salman is right".
                                [Al-Bukhari].



                                Either way, a husband can be busy wether he is a student of knowledge or not, some men are out of the house from morning till night for work, i think in that case you would have the advantage that a student of knowledge knows well enough not to neglect his wifes rights.
                                Please visit my Youtube cooking channel

                                https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiv...YMkhbbgtX-lL8Q

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