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Muzmatch, Minder, Eshq, etc... is technology the way to go for today's generation?

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  • Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
    truth out until it became revealed but it was too late then
    Why would it be too late?

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    • Originally posted by Medic View Post

      What lol
      I don't see why you not wanting your wife to work should result in a debate.

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      • Originally posted by Magic. View Post

        Painful.
        There have been a couple of sisters in the past that have admitted this goes on. Sadly, that sort of honesty is missing.

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        • Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post

          I will answer your questions. This is how I see western sisters in the UK operate...a fair percentage of them anyway. The picture may be more the same further afield but I can only go on what I have seen.

          They get to 18 years old when they have finished school and now have a decision to make. They know it won't be long before the father says it's time to get married so they need to decide fast. Mother will have already fed them for years on a diet of you have to be independent, get an education and earn your own money...I don't want you ending up like me. Mother has already been cleaning up after her and not let her lift a finger so she's already convinced her that she not ready to be a wife now anyway.

          So she enrolls on a 3/4 year degree course which now buys her time and also allows her to check out the landscape for what the future might hold...a nice educated, professional upstart, although this is not what she's really after because she cherishes her freedom. I mean why get married at 18/19 and then have to cook and clean and look after a man...that's a jail sentence.

          Offers over the years come in but she's still studying so they get rejected. Mother says come back after she's graduated we can then talk.

          Now after all these years doing a degree and graduating, she will tell her parents what's the point of all that if I don't work for a bit...if I get married now then that's all wasted. So she starts working for a few years. Dad looks a bit glum but mum jumps for joy, she's got her modern daughter!!!

          Anyway with all this freedom, sister enjoys her life for a few years more but then realises she can't continue like this as people talk and are already saying..."what your daughter is almost 30 and still single!!!". So she now decides the joyride as fun as it was needs to come to an end. She has had a good run but now she starts looking for a husband, but finds that all those offers that were on the table when she was a young 20 something are few and far between now. Now the landscape has changed and it's not all rosy. Many of those professional men are snapping up the 20 somethings and she's left with fewer and fewer options. She consoles herself with this is Qadr.

          To continue with this story please check out the marriage section.

          What an epic post

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          • Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post

            I don't see why you not wanting your wife to work should result in a debate.
            Yeh true, it's just the age we live in I guess.

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            • Originally posted by Medic View Post
              I actually did that recently. Although it started when the woman asked me whether I wanted my wife to work and I responded no. Then it led into a debate. She wasn't able to give a good reason for why she needs to work. She was driven to work because she felt it made her feel independent and she wanted to earn her own money. Spoken to others in the past too, honestly most of them work for no reason other than because they're influenced by modern day society, they think being a housewife makes them lowly and they're missing out.
              Isn't that her reason though? It may not be a good one for you, but it's enough of a reason for her to work and provide for herself.

              She wanted to work, you don't want a wife who works. Difference of compatibility so you didn't go through with it. No harm no foul and everyone is happy.

              I don't see the problem here. Just like you wouldn't marry a sister who wanted to work and just be a housewife, I wouldn't want to marry a brother who has debt. As long as you put your feelings forward, then what is the problem?
              مَّن ذَا الَّذِي يُقْرِضُ اللّهَ قَرْضًا حَسَنًا فَيُضَاعِفَهُ لَهُ أَضْعَافًا كَثِيرَةً وَاللّهُ يَقْبِضُ وَيَبْسُطُ وَإِلَيْهِ تُرْجَعُونَ

              "Who is he that will loan to Allah a beautiful loan, which Allah will double unto his credit and multiply many times?
              It is Allah that giveth (you) Want or plenty, and to Him shall be your return."
              Surah al-Baqarah
              [2:245]

              .:.
              .:. Perfer et Obdura : Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim .:.
              Be patient and strong : someday this pain will be useful to you

              .:.
              ...said the spider to the fly...

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              • Originally posted by Pippin1376 View Post

                Isn't that her reason though? It may not be a good one for you, but it's enough of a reason for her to work and provide for herself.

                She wanted to work, you don't want a wife who works. Difference of compatibility so you didn't go through with it. No harm no foul and everyone is happy.

                I don't see the problem here. Just like you wouldn't marry a sister who wanted to work and just be a housewife, I wouldn't want to marry a brother who has debt. As long as you put your feelings forward, then what is the problem?
                This wasn't marriage negotiation, it was an online debate with a stranger.

                It's not a good reason in general. Women thinking badly of being a housewife or a mother and being obsessed with working is a bad thing. This woman she had a father who from the sounds of it had a good income and her future husband will probably provide enough for both of them too, so what exactly is the need for someone to go out of their way and work? Other than for worldly financial reasons, what real benefit is there? You're putting yourself in an unnecessary mixed environment and doubling yours and your husband's work load, you both go to work in the morning and then when you get home you have to deal with everything there too.

                A guy in debt and this girl's case for wanting to work aren't comparable.

                My problem is that many Muslim women's desire to work simply stems from being influenced by feminism.

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