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How does a Muslim sister find a husband?

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  • Sabina595
    started a topic How does a Muslim sister find a husband?

    How does a Muslim sister find a husband?

    Salam

    i don't even know how sisters find a spouse or get married nowadays. And I feel everyone's pressuring me to find someone now. How do I do that? I'm really shy as well so can't manage to approach guys in real life.

  • Abu julaybeeb
    replied
    Originally posted by LailaTheMuslim View Post
    I agree its hard, how do I even find anyone right now?..

    To that extent, I admire South Asians for having a strong system for getting their children married.

    Try Muslim matrimonial sites sis
    ask married friends to look
    ask family to look (ones that actually want to help)
    ask people in the masjid

    its alot easier for girls since they dont need to provide
    only issue is after a certain age it becomes harder for them as most guys prefer younger

    Leave a comment:


  • LailaTheMuslim
    replied
    I agree its hard, how do I even find anyone right now?..

    To that extent, I admire South Asians for having a strong system for getting their children married.

    Try Muslim matrimonial sites sis

    Leave a comment:


  • Abu julaybeeb
    replied
    Originally posted by Yasirah87 View Post
    I asked my imam. He basically interviewed me about what I am looking for in a husband and found a brother for me. Good luck, sister. May Allah SWT make it easy for you.
    sister no such as thing as luck only Qadr

    Leave a comment:


  • Yasirah87
    replied
    I asked my imam. He basically interviewed me about what I am looking for in a husband and found a brother for me. Good luck, sister. May Allah SWT make it easy for you.

    Leave a comment:


  • shay5
    replied
    Originally posted by Pippin1376 View Post

    Some parents don't help their kids. They can be religious, but due to cultural nonsense, they don't do anything. In some Somali households, the fathers expect the girls to find a spouse while helping their sons.

    It's weird, but funny when you think about it.
    That's so weird to me...

    Where do these somali fathers expect their daughters to find someone?
    Last edited by shay5; 31-12-18, 06:09 PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • Abu julaybeeb
    replied
    somalis are going through what asians already went through

    coming to the west becoming too modern and imitating kuffar and losing deen
    asians have been here for 4 generations and u can see many have gone off
    however in the last 10 yrs its improving again

    somalis are like 2nd generation here
    i live in an area with big somali community and my close friend is somali
    and it seems its getting worse for somalis
    they will probably go through what asians already went through

    but this is the trouble of living in darul kufr
    people dont understand

    Leave a comment:


  • usernametaken
    replied
    Originally posted by Pippin1376 View Post

    I guess.

    I only brought it up, because there are sisters who are in the OPs situation and may come from religious families, but still can't find anyone. It's almost common place now, so it doesn't make them a troll.
    I've noticed that somali culture can seem more matriarchal compared to asian culture.

    Leave a comment:


  • Pippin1376
    replied
    Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

    thats asking for disasters
    I guess.

    I only brought it up, because there are sisters who are in the OPs situation and may come from religious families, but still can't find anyone. It's almost common place now, so it doesn't make them a troll.

    Leave a comment:


  • Abu julaybeeb
    replied
    Originally posted by Pippin1376 View Post

    Some parents don't help their kids. They can be religious, but due to cultural nonsense, they don't do anything. In some Somali households, the fathers expect the girls to find a spouse while helping their sons.

    It's weird, but funny when you think about it.
    thats asking for disasters

    Leave a comment:


  • Pippin1376
    replied
    Originally posted by shay5 View Post

    Are your parents muslim? What kind of father wants his daughter to go round finding a man herself and fall in love with him? What happens if you get your heartbroken or used by the first man, does your father expect you to go fall in love with another man?
    Some parents don't help their kids. They can be religious, but due to cultural nonsense, they don't do anything. In some Somali households, the fathers expect the girls to find a spouse while helping their sons.

    It's weird, but funny when you think about it.

    Leave a comment:


  • Kaas
    replied
    I found my husband on purematrimony, not ideal but a somewhat halal option for people who don't have better options. Beware though sis dont make it a love marriage as your mum said. Get to know him be sure you match and you will learn to love eachother after nikah. Dont fall in love with someone before marriage, dont let your nafs make your decision. Decide with your brain focussed on islamic choices

    Leave a comment:


  • Stoic Believer
    replied
    Originally posted by yugush View Post


    Salaam Sister,

    I hope you're doing well. You mentioned that you've never really wanted to get married -- if that's the case, don't get married. Marriage is indeed avoidable InshaAllah, and try not to worry that you'll be frowned upon, etc. It's important to stand your ground. Even if you wish to stay unmarried for life, that's your choice, and no one can force you. Marriage is not for everyone.

    I myself have made a firm intention to stay unmarried for life InshaAllah, no matter what anyone tells me.

    For those of us wishing to stay single for life, may Allah make this path possible and easy for us. Aameen.

    Cheers,

    Salaam.
    Horrible advice. Stop using this thread to toot your own horn.

    Just because OP said that does not meet she has committed herself to a lifetime of celibacy like you. This very thread is evidence against that.

    What's more likely the case is that she simply hasn't met the right man yet.

    Not to mention your advice contradicts the Sunnah, as another poster said.

    Leave a comment:


  • Kiro
    replied
    Try Sunnah Match making.
    Last edited by Kiro; 31-12-18, 03:53 PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • Abu julaybeeb
    replied
    Originally posted by yugush View Post


    Salaam Sister,

    I hope you're doing well. You mentioned that you've never really wanted to get married -- if that's the case, don't get married. Marriage is indeed avoidable InshaAllah, and try not to worry that you'll be frowned upon, etc. It's important to stand your ground. Even if you wish to stay unmarried for life, that's your choice, and no one can force you. Marriage is not for everyone.

    I myself have made a firm intention to stay unmarried for life InshaAllah, no matter what anyone tells me.

    For those of us wishing to stay single for life, may Allah make this path possible and easy for us. Aameen.

    Cheers,

    Salaam.
    cheers

    Leave a comment:

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