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How does a Muslim sister find a husband?

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  • How does a Muslim sister find a husband?

    Salam

    i don't even know how sisters find a spouse or get married nowadays. And I feel everyone's pressuring me to find someone now. How do I do that? I'm really shy as well so can't manage to approach guys in real life.

  • #2
    Walaikum Salam. Connections from family or friends. Local masjid. Online. WhatsApp match makers (usually for Asians).
    وَلَا تَكُونُوا كَالَّذِينَ نَسُوا اللَّهَ فَأَنسَاهُمْ أَنفُسَهُمْ

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    • #3
      It goes back to the culture and customs of where you live.

      It is not expected of women/girls to seek a husband. Naturally, women are the ones who are sought and men are the seekers. It could change due to circumstances though.

      Like Khalid said above, the best way is to make yourself available through family and friends and at the masjid.

      Lastly, it seems you are being pressured by others to find someone. This could cause you to make the wrong decision or rush into something, causing you to ruin your life or the life of another. Take the time to ask yourself and ponder what you want in a spouse. Learn how to be a wife and what your husband's rights will be (and the men should do the same). I say this because, in general, society and parents/family do not prepare their son/daughter for marriage nor do they learn how to be a spouse. We must learn it through books and lectures.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Sabina595 View Post
        Salam

        i don't even know how sisters find a spouse or get married nowadays. And I feel everyone's pressuring me to find someone now. How do I do that? I'm really shy as well so can't manage to approach guys in real life.
        Why are they expecting you to find someone? They should be helping you. Where is your father in all this?

        Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

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        • #5
          Khalid55 thank you for your suggestions. I've never heard of WhatsApp matchmakers. How do I do that and find that?

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          • #6
            A.Basheer yes I have always thought the men search for women ideally and I have told my family to look for me too but they seem to delay it sometimes. My mum wants me to have a love marriage and everyone my age seems to be getting married now through arranged marriage. So I feel bit left out. And it's worse when my family keeps telling me to find someone or asking when am I gonna get married off etc. Always talking about this now. I've never really wanted to get married tbh but it seems something I cannot avoid or I'd be frowned upon if I do avoid or not get married. It's making me stressed tbh. Well my mum tries to teach me how to cook etc and so on :/ but I don't think she's really been properly taught too

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            • #7
              shay5 my dad wants to get me married off ASAP. I've told them my criteria to what I look in a guy and to find someone for me. But they haven't really found anyone yet for me. But they do want me to find someone myself and fall in love.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Sabina595 View Post
                A.Basheer yes I have always thought the men search for women ideally and I have told my family to look for me too but they seem to delay it sometimes. My mum wants me to have a love marriage and everyone my age seems to be getting married now through arranged marriage. So I feel bit left out. And it's worse when my family keeps telling me to find someone or asking when am I gonna get married off etc. Always talking about this now. I've never really wanted to get married tbh but it seems something I cannot avoid or I'd be frowned upon if I do avoid or not get married. It's making me stressed tbh. Well my mum tries to teach me how to cook etc and so on :/ but I don't think she's really been properly taught too
                learning how to cook is good yes
                but more important is learning the shar'eeh marital rights of your spouse ie husband and being able to implement them and being able to compromise and be patient and knowing how to communicate

                i advice you read a fiqh book on marriage you can find it on the site kallamullah

                also go through some lectures on the fiqh of marriage and divorce
                its important u know all these things

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Khalid55 View Post
                  Walaikum Salam. Connections from family or friends. Local masjid. Online. WhatsApp match makers (usually for Asians).
                  lool

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Sabina595 View Post
                    shay5 my dad wants to get me married off ASAP. I've told them my criteria to what I look in a guy and to find someone for me. But they haven't really found anyone yet for me. But they do want me to find someone myself and fall in love.
                    Are your parents muslim? What kind of father wants his daughter to go round finding a man herself and fall in love with him? What happens if you get your heartbroken or used by the first man, does your father expect you to go fall in love with another man?

                    Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

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                    • #11
                      (correct me if I have misunderstood)


                      Btw how comes I can't edit my posts but new users always edit and delete their posts...wth...
                      Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by shay5 View Post
                        (correct me if I have misunderstood)


                        Btw how comes I can't edit my posts but new users always edit and delete their posts...wth...
                        i think theres a time limit to editing posts maybe

                        op initial post may be different

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                        • #13
                          Is this another troll thread?

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Mintchocchip View Post
                            Is this another troll thread?
                            Christmas hols, some people get bored...lol
                            Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Mintchocchip View Post
                              Is this another troll thread?
                              When the op is written as their first post and it sounds weird and unusual then I think there's a high chance it's a troll
                              وَلَا تَكُونُوا كَالَّذِينَ نَسُوا اللَّهَ فَأَنسَاهُمْ أَنفُسَهُمْ

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