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Parents rejected me due to marriage

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  • Yaqub Al Mahkam
    started a topic Parents rejected me due to marriage

    Parents rejected me due to marriage

    So, I am an 18 year old revert and I met this girl online who is also 18. We're both American but she is ethnically Albanian and her parents come from Albania. Over time we both caught feelings for each other and so I told her I was interested in marriage with her. She was definitely interested however when she brought it up to her parents they were totally against it because I'm not Albanian. She tried to convince them to change their minds but no luck. She is very close to her family and doesn't want to hurt them so she stopped pushing the idea and the other day we pretty much decided that there's no chance with us. I've been pretty depressed about the whole thing and I'm not sure how to go forward. Is there anything that could be done at this point or should I just cut my losses? And any advice for getting over her would be appreciated. جزاك اللهُ خيرًا

  • sister_82
    replied
    The best for you is to move on, if her parents have send no, the their is point pursuing any further.

    Best thing to do is focus on yourself

    Leave a comment:


  • Mintchocchip
    replied
    Originally posted by imran1976 View Post

    Letters are totally different thing.--- I remember my father writing letters to me and vice versa, I don't have words to explain the beauty in those writings.

    today's online world is fake.
    When you have seen the person and know them very well like a relative or friend then letter writing and online communication does not feel fake.

    Online feels fake when you do not know the person or have never met them for real so in a sense are a stranger. That can happen with letter writing too for example having penpals was quite common back in the days.

    You just have to keep your guard when communicating with strangers. There are certain boundaries you do not cross.

    I remember waiting a nearly a week for letters to arrive from Pakistan and same amount of time for a letter to get there. It was exciting waiting fot the letter to arrive and check everytime the post came.
    Last edited by Mintchocchip; 22-12-18, 07:38 PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • Gingerbeardman
    replied
    Originally posted by imran1976 View Post

    Letters are totally different thing.--- I remember my father writing letters to me and vice versa, I don't have words to explain the beauty in those writings.

    today's online world is fake.
    It is, but so can letter writing be. You're treating this as something logical, which it is totally not.

    Leave a comment:


  • imran1976
    replied
    Originally posted by Gingerbeardman View Post

    People used to 'fall in love' with people they wrote letters to centuries ago, or the person they think they are based upon the best impression given through correspondence and the imagination and desires of the fallee.
    Letters are totally different thing.--- I remember my father writing letters to me and vice versa, I don't have words to explain the beauty in those writings.

    today's online world is fake.

    Leave a comment:


  • Gingerbeardman
    replied
    Originally posted by imran1976 View Post
    How do people fell in love online ........
    People used to 'fall in love' with people they wrote letters to centuries ago, or the person they think they are based upon the best impression given through correspondence and the imagination and desires of the fallee.

    Leave a comment:


  • imran1976
    replied
    How do people fell in love online ........

    Leave a comment:


  • Gingerbeardman
    replied
    assalaamu alaykum,

    As others have said, there is nothing much you can do. If she was bothered by it a great deal, she could reach out to an imam or sheikh and ask for help, but that is her decision to make and not your's so as she's accepting her parents wishes time to move on.

    This is a good lesson for you, not too much harm done other than emotionally so take your lumps and learn from it.
    Don't get too close in the marriage process, until the nikkah is done. There are good reasons Allah put these processes and rulings in place, so don't go against them or others in our deen and not expect occasional or even serious problems from it.

    Leave a comment:


  • Abu julaybeeb
    replied
    are u from discors

    Leave a comment:


  • Saif-Uddin
    replied
    Originally posted by Yaqub Al Mahkam View Post
    So, I am an 18 year old revert and I met this girl online who is also 18. We're both American but she is ethnically Albanian and her parents come from Albania. Over time we both caught feelings for each other and so I told her I was interested in marriage with her. She was definitely interested however when she brought it up to her parents they were totally against it because I'm not Albanian. She tried to convince them to change their minds but no luck. She is very close to her family and doesn't want to hurt them so she stopped pushing the idea and the other day we pretty much decided that there's no chance with us. I've been pretty depressed about the whole thing and I'm not sure how to go forward. Is there anything that could be done at this point or should I just cut my losses? And any advice for getting over her would be appreciated. جزاك اللهُ خيرًا
    السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

    Akhi this isnt how you look for a wife, by chatting online and developing feelings for a woman.

    Cut her off completely.

    If your looking to get married, Do it the right way, if your Wali is non muslim and you ha e no Muslim uncles etc, then ask your local Imaam/Masajid to help you out.

    جزاك الله خيرا

    Leave a comment:


  • Mintchocchip
    replied
    Originally posted by Yaqub Al Mahkam View Post
    So, I am an 18 year old revert and I met this girl online who is also 18. We're both American but she is ethnically Albanian and her parents come from Albania. Over time we both caught feelings for each other and so I told her I was interested in marriage with her. She was definitely interested however when she brought it up to her parents they were totally against it because I'm not Albanian. She tried to convince them to change their minds but no luck. She is very close to her family and doesn't want to hurt them so she stopped pushing the idea and the other day we pretty much decided that there's no chance with us. I've been pretty depressed about the whole thing and I'm not sure how to go forward. Is there anything that could be done at this point or should I just cut my losses? And any advice for getting over her would be appreciated. جزاك اللهُ خيرًا
    Hope you learnt your lesson (I do not mean to sound rude).

    Thank Allah swt for you do not know what bigger problems you have been saved from had you married her.

    Do plenty of dua for a rightous spouse.

    Leave a comment:


  • Abu 'Abdullaah
    replied
    Not to mention you're chatting to women online. Completely wrong!

    Leave a comment:


  • Musbah
    replied
    Unfortunately, this is a recurring theme with Muslims that only want to stick with their ethnicity.

    Leave a comment:


  • Stoic Believer
    replied
    Move on. Time will heal everything.

    Focus on your deen and seeking knowledge.

    Leave a comment:

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