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Boyfriend forced to marry his cousin, but he also wants to marry me!!?? 😩

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  • #76
    Originally posted by mpw View Post

    Yeah it would be better if they had the cognitive ability and self respect and love to see through these monsters. Plenty of shy brothers who are good out there that get friend zoned.

    Muslimas, you gals need to start seeking out the good, shy deen guys and stay with them till the end.
    Lol are you one of these shy guys? Advertising yourself eh...

    Instead of trying to make Muslimahs consider you, why don't you work on your own self confidence and being an interesting person. That's why you get rejected, not because you're "good"

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    • #77
      Originally posted by mpw View Post

      Yeah it would be better if they had the cognitive ability and self respect and love to see through these monsters. Plenty of shy brothers who are good out there that get friend zoned.

      Muslimas, you gals need to start seeking out the good, shy deen guys and stay with them till the end.
      I'm all for a reserved guy but a shy guy? That's not appealing to many women. A good guy with deen is good though...
      Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

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      • #78
        Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post

        Lol are you one of these shy guys? Advertising yourself eh...

        Instead of trying to make Muslimahs consider you, why don't you work on your own self confidence and being an interesting person. That's why you get rejected, not because you're "good"
        I’ve always wondered about the ‘Nice guys finish last’ mentality. It’s as if being nice is all it takes, or ‘I’m nice, so I’m entitled to ______.’

        Stoic has a point. There are a lot of men out there who are good and not shy, or shy and not deeny, and so on. These characteristics are not mutually exclusive.

        So, what takes you to the next level that the others don’t have? It’s not butterflies. Maybe it is confidence.
        Last edited by Sister_2009; 13-12-18, 09:52 PM.

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        • #79
          Originally posted by shay5 View Post

          I'm all for a reserved guy but a shy guy? That's not appealing to many women. A good guy with deen is good though...
          There's nothing wrong with shyness, as long as you are still able to interact and communicate properly. I don't see why it would be a turn off for women.

          ‘Imran bin Husain (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said, “Shyness does not bring anything except good.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
          Last edited by hasan2013; 13-12-18, 09:58 PM.

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          • #80
            shyness is a branch of imaan

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            • #81
              Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post

              Lol are you one of these shy guys? Advertising yourself eh...

              Instead of trying to make Muslimahs consider you, why don't you work on your own self confidence and being an interesting person. That's why you get rejected, not because you're "good"
              Hahaha no. I am not looking for marriage. Just giving some armchair advice.

              Originally posted by shay5 View Post

              I'm all for a reserved guy but a shy guy? That's not appealing to many women. A good guy with deen is good though...
              A reserved guy will be hesitant to show his feelings towards his loved one. Not so great later on in the marriage but of course it depends on the sister who marries him and her personality.
              Last edited by mpw; 14-12-18, 12:18 AM.

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              • #82
                Originally posted by hasan2013 View Post

                There's nothing wrong with shyness, as long as you are still able to interact and communicate properly. I don't see why it would be a turn off for women.

                ‘Imran bin Husain (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said, “Shyness does not bring anything except good.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
                Please don't think I said having haya was unappealing, it's not. Haya is great and a part of our faith. What I meant by shy is a timid man who gets walked all over, he lacks confidence and has low self esteem. I'm sure many women would rather have a self assured, assertive husband...

                Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong..
                Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

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                • #83
                  Originally posted by mpw View Post

                  A reserved guy will be hesitant to show his feelings towards his loved one. Not so great later on in the marriage but of course it depends on the sister who marries him and her personality.
                  When Isay reserved I don't mean emotionally unavailable, I mean someone who doesn't have a loud personality...

                  Hope that clears things up...

                  Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

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                  • #84
                    Shyness aint' about not being assertive. Shyness is like for me is not exposing awrah, feeling so uncomfortable when wearing trousers when doing sujud that you wear a long coat, shyness is feeling bad because you swore and showing off or not going to a lift because a woman is there, Completely distinct.
                    8 powerful habits to succeed


                    1. Wake up early!
                    2. Do it as soon as possible, you could die tonight so make the best of today
                    3. Remember your life is unique, don't compare yourself to others. Use that jealousy as an energy to make your life a success"
                    4. Have healthy habits. Set a time each day to exercise. Try with the mindset you're only going to do some jumping jacks for 5 seconds and the next thing you know, you're doing a workout!
                    5. Read, read, read. Ponder over the Qur'an, learn more. Put the idiot box (TV) away
                    6. Take note. Desires make slaves out of kings and patience makes kings out of slaves.
                    7. Results aren't just worldly. Results are also about perseverance, retaining dignity, being honest, being honourable, doing good unto others.
                    8. Always encourage others especially our brothers and sisters, let them know making mistakes is okay, we all make mistakes, do not ever undermine them and make them feel incompetent. This is also true for the dunya, so what if they don't get the maths sum right the first time, that is what LEARNING is.

                    NEW UPDATE

                    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJubtizAEfU


                    Watch this when you're distressed!

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                    • #85
                      Originally posted by shay5 View Post

                      When Isay reserved I don't mean emotionally unavailable, I mean someone who doesn't have a loud personality...

                      Hope that clears things up...
                      It does. Thank you very much.

                      Comment


                      • #86
                        Originally posted by Magic. View Post
                        Shyness aint' about not being assertive. Shyness is like for me is not exposing awrah, feeling so uncomfortable when wearing trousers when doing sujud that you wear a long coat, shyness is feeling bad because you swore and showing off or not going to a lift because a woman is there, Completely distinct.
                        shyness is uthma radi allahu anhu
                        the prophet صلي الله عليه وسلام would cover his shin if clothing was not covering it
                        when uthman came in the room

                        uthman after islam never even touched his private part

                        utham when being murdered told his wife to cover her self

                        utham who the angels were shy of

                        haya is one of the best characteristics a person can have

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                        • #87
                          Shyness is not a good translation of haya. It's misleading.

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                          • #88
                            modesty

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                            • #89
                              humbleness?
                              "When a man sees the road as long he weakens in his walk." Ibn Qayyim

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                              • #90
                                Where is cherry? this is 6 pages long but she hasn't said much. I think she wanted us to approve this drama with her boyfriend but she got something different lol

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