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I'm getting too old for marriage.. :/

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  • I'm getting too old for marriage.. :/

    Basically, mostly all my cousins/siblings got married by the time they were 17/18..

    Men prefer younger girls and so far I haven't been proposed not even once.

    I'm 20 now and my 17 y/o sister is engaged and everyone is wondering if there's anything wrong with me.

    i feel like no one wants to marry me, I wouldn't be surprised if my 9 year old sister gets married before me. :/

  • #2
    Stay Strong, Your Time Will Come !

    Kenya is 2 hrs ahead of Nigeria, but it does not mean that Nigeria is slow, or that Kenya is fast. Both countries are working based on their own "Time Zone."

    Some one is still single.. Someone got married and 'waited' 10 yrs before having a child, there is another who had a baby within a year of marriage.

    Someone graduated at the age of 22, yet waited 5 years before securing a good job; and there is another who graduated at 27 and secured employment immediately!

    Someone became CEO at 25 and died at 50 while another became a CEO at 50 and lived to 90 years.

    Everyone works based on their 'Time Zone' People can have things worked out only according to their pace. Work in your "time zone".

    Your Colleagues, friends, younger ones might "seem" to go ahead of you.

    Don't envy them, it's their 'Time Zone.' You are in yours!

    Hold on, be strong, and stay true to yourself. All things shall work together for your good. You're not late.. You're very much on time!

    - Unknown

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    • #3
      Take your time don't allow people's opinions make you jump into marriage if you're not ready or if you are ready make you jump on the first proposal that comes your way. Had a cousin who's two sisters were engaged before she was one was 17 and the other 18 and she was 22 at 23 she got married it's not a race or a competition. I know another woman who waited till she was 28 she's now happily married and has a baby boy.

      Its so backwards to think that if a woman is a certain age and isn't married that something is wrong with her.

      Don't depend too much on anyone in this world because even your own shadow leaves you when you are in the darkness

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      • #4

        You're 20, that's still young.

        It's quite common for youngsters to think they're getting 'old' when they are still young. I was like that but I still embraced those beautiful moments.

        I'm ten years older than you and Alhamdullilah I truly believe I'm still young
        life has just begun but unfortunately the backache might be permanent





        when marriage is concerned people always talk about age

        This is why my parents didn't want my younger sister to get married before me because firstly, I was struggling to find a spouse and secondly people DO get suspicious.

        OBVIOUSLY, I was more than happy for her to get married but it would have made it harder for me to find someone


        Just tell your parents to look for a spouse for you and to let others know about you. Tell them about your concerns.

        Don't worry but you have to start somewhere and tell people you are looking for a suitable spouse so they can help.


        ​​​​​​
        'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

        So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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        • #5
          Please DO enjoy your single life in the meantime

          Make dua and remember your fate has already been decreed
          'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

          So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Allah's_Servant View Post
            Take your time don't allow people's opinions make you jump into marriage if you're not ready or if you are ready make you jump on the first proposal that comes your way. Had a cousin who's two sisters were engaged before she was one was 17 and the other 18 and she was 22 at 23 she got married it's not a race or a competition. I know another woman who waited till she was 28 she's now happily married and has a baby boy.

            Its so backwards to think that if a woman is a certain age and isn't married that something is wrong with her.
            Still happens unfortunately

            I'll be honest, if a man was still single and his younger brother is married i'dwant to know the reasons especially if they are in late twenties and thirties
            'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

            So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

            Comment


            • #7
              What a silly way to think.
              Not sure what strange culture you're from but don't stress. No girl in my family marries before 27ish.
              Which is probably oap age in some cultures for marriageable age ...each to their own.

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              • #8
                20?? That's still very young.


                ​​​​

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                • #9
                  20 is nothing to worry about lol
                  “You know it's funny, when it rains it pours,
                  they got money for wars, but can't feed the poor.” - 2pac

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by MyUsernameIs... View Post
                    What a silly way to think.
                    Not sure what strange culture you're from but don't stress. No girl in my family marries before 27ish.
                    Which is probably oap age in some cultures for marriageable age ...each to their own.
                    Did they purposefully wait till 27, or was it simply that it took them a long time to find someone?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Your environment makes you think that. 20 is still young. But if people around you are getting married earlier, having children earlier and telling you, the sooner the better, you will see your situation as unideal because that's what you are being told. But if they told you, that's young, you still have time, you would not feel like this. So live in your own time, do what you need to do and what works best for you.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Jannahxx View Post
                        Basically, mostly all my cousins/siblings got married by the time they were 17/18..

                        Men prefer younger girls and so far I haven't been proposed not even once.

                        I'm 20 now and my 17 y/o sister is engaged and everyone is wondering if there's anything wrong with me.

                        i feel like no one wants to marry me, I wouldn't be surprised if my 9 year old sister gets married before me. :/
                        Think of it this way, if Allah swt has written for you to get married then you will marry exactly when he wants you to. So why worry if it's at 22 , 25, or 55. If its meant for you it will come your way..
                        Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          nigeria and kenya what kind of analogies is this lol

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post

                            Did they purposefully wait till 27, or was it simply that it took them a long time to find someone?
                            A number of factors are involved and yes one is that it takes that long to find someone & marry - too many family politics involved.
                            But another huge factor apparent in this generation is that no one is simply mature enough to marry earlier ....not the women or the men.
                            The few marriages that have taken place where the bride (& groom) were 18-20ish have all failed sadly.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by MyUsernameIs... View Post

                              A number of factors are involved and yes one is that it takes that long to find someone & marry - too many family politics involved.
                              But another huge factor apparent in this generation is that no one is simply mature enough to marry earlier ....not the women or the men.
                              The few marriages that have taken place where the bride (& groom) were 18-20ish have all failed sadly.
                              what were the reasons for failure or divorce

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