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  • #31
    Originally posted by Rumaysah~ View Post
    First of all, you not being honest about your work and income is a red flag in and of itself. Of course they will reject you. Be honest about everything and don't be deceptive.

    ​​​​​​You can use what you have achieved to your advantage if you would just stop worrying about potential gold diggers. There's no shortage of career focused women which seems to be what you're looking for.

    Thirdly, after marriage and kids, your job can't be your priority and purpose in life. You will have to do something about your problem of being addicted to work. It seems you have no balance in life as things stand now.

    It sounds like you want a wife and kids that take second place in your life, who work around your schedule rather than you making some sacrifices.
    I remember you making a thread about the wife keeping a hidden savings account. Not saying its the same, not picking any sides either. But it does seem a tiny bit hypocritical.

    One is a savings account, but after marriage.
    This is monthly income, but before marriage.

    I would assume that before marriage, the potential does not NEED to know the exact earnings as long as he can guarantee a comfortable halal lifestyle?

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    • #32
      Originally posted by Cptn._.Mario View Post

      I remember you making a thread about the wife keeping a hidden savings account. Not saying its the same, not picking any sides either. But it does seem a tiny bit hypocritical.

      One is a savings account, but after marriage.
      This is monthly income, but before marriage.

      I would assume that before marriage, the potential does not NEED to know the exact earnings as long as he can guarantee a comfortable halal lifestyle?
      I don't think I made such a thread. I may have commented on one maybe.
      They're completely different things. She is not responsible for providing anyway so no one needs to know what she has saved before marriage. If she wants to save her own money after marriage it's nobodies business either. If she works of course she should tell the person she is about to marry.

      If a man is going to marry someone's daughter, the exact income, job, previous jobs, where he lives, how he spends his money, who else he provides for, all his previous education, needs be known in detail. Along with all the other checks. You're giving your daughter over to this person, you need to know everything, every detail.

      Saying something like "I'm a manager at some place, I don't really have much higher education, I make enough to provide for a family" doesn't cut it really.
      شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
      فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
      وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
      ونورُ الله لا يهدى لعاصي

      Comment


      • #33
        Originally posted by Rumaysah~ View Post

        I don't think I made such a thread. I may have commented on one maybe.
        They're completely different things. She is not responsible for providing anyway so no one needs to know what she has saved before marriage. If she wants to save her own money after marriage it's nobodies business either. If she works of course she should tell the person she is about to marry.

        If a man is going to marry someone's daughter, the exact income, job, previous jobs, where he lives, how he spends his money, who else he provides for, all his previous education, needs be known in detail. Along with all the other checks. You're giving your daughter over to this person, you need to know everything, every detail.

        Saying something like "I'm a manager at some place, I don't really have much higher education, I make enough to provide for a family" doesn't cut it really.
        Why not? There are certain things you need to determine and can only determine up to a certain point to make a decision. Why do you need to determine exact income? Does he need to determine exact beauty? You need enough information to make a decision and that's it. For instance you may determine his/her character is terrible and therefore you don't need to look any further.

        Comment


        • #34
          Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post

          That is true. There's a lot of unknowns. It might have been worth talking with the girl at least.
          He was there we were not. If he concluded the situation as he described then why is that not good enough?

          Comment


          • #35

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            • #36
              Marry someone you know beforehand who loves you for who you really are. or if you are looking for outside/blind marriage potentials then you would have to lower your expectations if you expect them to accept a 'lower' education and a 'medium' salary as you describe. Or use a matrimonial website.

              Whatever the decision, don't let go of the 5 prayers

              Comment


              • #37
                Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post

                He was there we were not. If he concluded the situation as he described then why is that not good enough?
                Who said it wasn't good enough?

                Comment


                • #38
                  Originally posted by Cptn._.Mario View Post

                  Marry someone you know beforehand who loves you for who you really are. or if you are looking for outside/blind marriage potentials then you would have to lower your expectations if you expect them to accept a 'lower' education and a 'medium' salary as you describe. Or use a matrimonial website.

                  Whatever the decision, don't let go of the 5 prayers


                  Sorry but I'm not marrying into family. Those who do it I have no problem with but I don't want my child to be austic. I know 3 family friends who kids are austic and they were cousins.

                  There are roughly 4 billion women in this world

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Paying a manager shouldn't be a problem for you as you do after all turn over millions and your profit is probably 600k+ easily bro.
                    Spend extra hours at home with your future wife & future kids bro, go visit your parents, take up new activities like learning about Islam, go gym etc...

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Originally posted by Medic View Post

                      Paying a manager shouldn't be a problem for you as you do after all turn over millions and your profit is probably 600k+ easily bro.
                      Spend extra hours at home with your future wife & future kids bro, go visit your parents, take up new activities like learning about Islam, go gym etc...
                      I already gym bro, I'm lean with 12% body fat. If I don't go gym, my doctor said i will die by 45 lol as my blood pressure is always elevated & I would never take medication. My head is nearly all white but I don't why I love this. I have been to physiologist and he diagnosed me with a mild bipolar disorder but nothing that effects my daily.

                      I can drop some work load on to my admin staff but if they mess I end getting very angry with them and start shouting for no reason which later on i regret

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Originally posted by Fegave View Post

                        I already gym bro, I'm lean with 12% body fat. If I don't go gym, my doctor said i will die by 45 lol as my blood pressure is always elevated & I would never take medication. My head is nearly all white but I don't why I love this. I have been to physiologist and he diagnosed me with a mild bipolar disorder but nothing that effects my daily.

                        I can drop some work load on to my admin staff but if they mess I end getting very angry with them and start shouting for no reason which later on i regret
                        Well bro if you do decide to carry on working heavy hours then just make sure any potential wife is aware of your work hours before you marry.

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Originally posted by Medic View Post

                          Well bro if you do decide to carry on working heavy hours then just make sure any potential wife is aware of your work hours before you marry.
                          Yh she needs to be thats why she would have to my girlfriend for at least 1 year.

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Originally posted by Fegave View Post

                            Yh she needs to be thats why she would have to my girlfriend for at least 1 year.
                            Don't take the haram route bro, it's never worth it.

                            Literally all you have to do is inform her of your work hours during marriage talks to make her aware and then she decide whether she's okay with it or not. There's no need for a 1 year girlfriend.

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              If you focused on your faith then you would attract people who would marry for your character, dedication to your faith and not what is in your wallet.
                              Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

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                              • #45
                                Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post

                                ...Not if you miss Fajr.
                                What makes you think he misses anything?

                                Not to mention you completed missed sarcasm ...

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