Salamalikum Brothers & Sisters,
I'm in a dilemma, I'm 25 years old and while most of you would consider me lucky which I'm thankful for alhamdulillah which I'm thankful to Allah for everything he has given me.
I'm struggling to find a partner whom shares my values and would suit me the halal way. The ones who would suit me, reject me. Firstly, because I'm not good looking, Plus I don't hold any degrees or formal qualifications but with the grace of Allah, alhamdulliah I have built a company since leaving school which turns over in excess of 3.2 million pounds per year (Our accounts from 2016 - 2017) and as result - I enjoy a very good life.
Now, when I visit the suitors I never tell them this, my own parents don't know my company's turnover. When I'm asked what I do, I tell the truth and say I work as a Manager for XXX (Company name hidden and Manager is job title that suits my work on daily basis) and when they ask about my education I tell that I have only achieved A levels and I didn't go to university. One Suitor who's Dad laughed when I said I don't have a degree really made me angry but I'm not an angry person. I'm always calm and collected so I laughed it off too. He told my parents; the conditions to marry his daughter would be I should have my own 2 bedroom house then he'll give his daughter to me. I thought to myself, "is your daughter a commodity" but at the same time understood his point as he wanted his daughter to be comfortable so that was it that.
One family who my parents found through the mosque and I didn't realise this but i had done business with the sisters brother, so he knew me well and what I do for a living. When he saw that it was me his eyes/tone/posture changed which I can understand as he wants his sister to be comfortable and he took his dad out of the room and when they came back his dad was 100% happy for me to take his daughter and he wanted to set a nikkah date - I was thinking relax. when the daughter came into room - I'm not joking she could have been a model 9/10 for looks - Straight away I knew this relationship would be for money that's it. With respect I called it a day at their house and went back to ours.
Now, what advice would you guys give me. I don't want to have a haram relationship which I could easily have from my social circles of being boyfriend and girlfriend. I want someone for who I am and not what I have. I also want a relationship for one year after doing nikkah(not sexual) champroned so she can see how live and work. I work in excess of 70 hours work plus 2 hours commute everyday. I really want to start a family - Also my sexual urges are making me go crazy, Fasting isn't cutting it anymore. Shall I just marry someone or am i being too picky?
Thank you very much for your help and I hope I didn't rumble on too much.
jazak allah khair
I'm in a dilemma, I'm 25 years old and while most of you would consider me lucky which I'm thankful for alhamdulillah which I'm thankful to Allah for everything he has given me.
I'm struggling to find a partner whom shares my values and would suit me the halal way. The ones who would suit me, reject me. Firstly, because I'm not good looking, Plus I don't hold any degrees or formal qualifications but with the grace of Allah, alhamdulliah I have built a company since leaving school which turns over in excess of 3.2 million pounds per year (Our accounts from 2016 - 2017) and as result - I enjoy a very good life.
Now, when I visit the suitors I never tell them this, my own parents don't know my company's turnover. When I'm asked what I do, I tell the truth and say I work as a Manager for XXX (Company name hidden and Manager is job title that suits my work on daily basis) and when they ask about my education I tell that I have only achieved A levels and I didn't go to university. One Suitor who's Dad laughed when I said I don't have a degree really made me angry but I'm not an angry person. I'm always calm and collected so I laughed it off too. He told my parents; the conditions to marry his daughter would be I should have my own 2 bedroom house then he'll give his daughter to me. I thought to myself, "is your daughter a commodity" but at the same time understood his point as he wanted his daughter to be comfortable so that was it that.
One family who my parents found through the mosque and I didn't realise this but i had done business with the sisters brother, so he knew me well and what I do for a living. When he saw that it was me his eyes/tone/posture changed which I can understand as he wants his sister to be comfortable and he took his dad out of the room and when they came back his dad was 100% happy for me to take his daughter and he wanted to set a nikkah date - I was thinking relax. when the daughter came into room - I'm not joking she could have been a model 9/10 for looks - Straight away I knew this relationship would be for money that's it. With respect I called it a day at their house and went back to ours.
Now, what advice would you guys give me. I don't want to have a haram relationship which I could easily have from my social circles of being boyfriend and girlfriend. I want someone for who I am and not what I have. I also want a relationship for one year after doing nikkah(not sexual) champroned so she can see how live and work. I work in excess of 70 hours work plus 2 hours commute everyday. I really want to start a family - Also my sexual urges are making me go crazy, Fasting isn't cutting it anymore. Shall I just marry someone or am i being too picky?
Thank you very much for your help and I hope I didn't rumble on too much.
jazak allah khair
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