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Husband won't let me see my son

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  • Allah's_Servant
    started a topic Husband won't let me see my son

    Husband won't let me see my son

    My husband has taken my son away from me. He hasn't divorced me so I don't know where I currently stand with him. He is always at his brothers wife's house. He chats with her on WhatsApp all the time and she always sends him pictures of what she cooks and jokes. He says she's better than me that she cooks better than me. Cleans better than me. And is a better mother than me. He thinks it's fine to do and say what he is doing and saying and that's where we started to have problems. My husband believes I can't take care of my son so yesterday (He kicked me out of the house and I'm currently at my fathers it's been like this for close to three weeks) he took my 2 year old son from me and gave him to his brothers wife. Today I sent him a message asking to see my son and he did not respond. My son has been away from me for more than two weeks and I miss him but my husband is being extremely rude and won't let me see him. I'm currently 8 months pregnant and he told me to go give birth in the US and after two months to return his daughter to him.

    im not sure what to do anymore. I've been praying and making dua but nothing is getting better only worse.

  • imran1976
    replied
    If it's everything like you said,
    miss SiL is the problem.

    Leave a comment:


  • Abu julaybeeb
    replied
    ameen

    Leave a comment:


  • Mintchocchip
    replied
    Asalaamu alaikum

    Hope you are ok sister. Not sure if you have given birth but hope Allah swt makes the delivery easy.

    Leave a comment:


  • jameelash
    replied
    Since your husband stubourn Nd even ur relatives r helpless best solution is to approach a lawer .they will know how to deal. Usually the judge take the decision.Beside ur husband can not take the baby since ull be feeding for 2yrs .so the judge decicision will be favourable to u
    but lawer has to be paid .they won’t help for free .mayAllah guide u .aameen

    Leave a comment:


  • ~TwinklingStar~
    replied
    Sister, the situation is very delicate.

    Your husband's brother is inattentive and uncaring towards your SIL. He is not bothered about their kids as well. When a woman's emotional needs are unfulfilled within a marriage, she tries to seek it elsewhere. She feels flattered internally if anyone compliments her or gives her a little attention because what she desperately craves is missing in her life.

    Meanwhile, your husband is at her home daily, you're absent from his life. He shares a friendly rapport with her. She is the one who takes care of his son, cooks meals for him, feeds him. These are things which softens a man's heart for any woman.

    Maybe they aren't cheating on their respective spouses yet, but there definitely are red flags. They enjoy each other's company & are comfortable texting and joking with each other. All illicit affairs always begin innocently.

    Shaitan loves to create divisions between a married couple and split up families. You see the pattern...two marriages are at stake here.

    I don't think sending him ahadith will make much difference. You both need to reconcile as soon as possible, so that you can nip that relationship in the bud. If you start living with him and your son moves in with you, he won't feel much need to go there as often. If he does, you insist on accompanying him. Just tag along, no matter how bothersome it appears to you. They won't cross any boundaries if you're present.







    Leave a comment:


  • Abu julaybeeb
    replied
    Originally posted by Allah's_Servant View Post

    Exactly my point. She's over stepping her boundaries and my husband is oblivious.
    i dont think hes oblivious to be honest
    after child birth you should go see her

    Leave a comment:


  • Allah's_Servant
    replied
    Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

    thats a dangerous situation
    Exactly my point. She's over stepping her boundaries and my husband is oblivious.

    Leave a comment:


  • Allah's_Servant
    replied
    Originally posted by ~TwinklingStar~ View Post
    It's great that you haven't given up hope. It would be in the best interest of both of you and your kids that you put aside your differences and reconcile. That may require bending a bit and putting aside your ego, but, if it can save your marriage, it'll truly be worth it in the end.

    It won't be a victory for anyone if either of you manages to solely take the children...there'll still be a long, tough battle ahead and unfortunately, the children will be the biggest losers. Parenting is challenging and children need both parents equally. So, depriving them from the love and attention of one parent leads to damaging their mental & psychological well-being and happiness.

    Your husband may have some negative traits, but I think they're mostly influenced by his cultural upbringing. Besides, who can guarantee that the next person you marry won't have some other traits worse than these?

    Also, it would do your relationahip a lot of good if you both move somewhere far away from interfering relatives. That doesn't necessarily mean moving to another country, just some place where people cannot meet up frequently enough to fill his ears with malicious gossip.

    May Allah grant you khair.
    I've been sending him hadiths hoping that his fear of Allah will perhaps make him listen better perhaps he won't take it as nagging or over exaggerating if i have hadiths to prove my point. Especially regarding the sister in law because he takes it as I'm saying he's cheating on me.


    Allahu Amin

    Leave a comment:


  • Abu julaybeeb
    replied
    Originally posted by Allah's_Servant View Post

    He's not westeren. He's bedioun and bedioun are known go being strict on free mixing. The SIL's husband (my husband brother) is how can I say this.... he lacks as a husband he's not compassionate towards his kids he doesn't care about money probelms that they have. If his kids are sick he doesn't really care. He cheats on his wife so his wife the SIL is clinging to my husband Because my husband has what her husband lacks.
    thats a dangerous situation

    Leave a comment:


  • Allah's_Servant
    replied
    Originally posted by Indefinable View Post
    That is positive.

    You should maybe consider getting ruqyah or something done. It could be sihr/ayn?

    To be honest sis, it's easy to walk away from marriage/problems, but it's more worth it to be patient and stick around.

    He could be going through a phase?

    Apart from the beating up part - which should not be happening at all - the rest could be easily explained. It could be the SIL is "like a sister"?

    In my culture cousins/extended families mix freely. I know some sisters who talk freely to their friend's husbands on phone etc. (Not justifying something haraam, I just want to show you how Westernised society has become).

    Try your hardest for reconciliation - he is the father of your kids, and children need both parents around.

    He's not westeren. He's bedioun and bedioun are known go being strict on free mixing. The SIL's husband (my husband brother) is how can I say this.... he lacks as a husband he's not compassionate towards his kids he doesn't care about money probelms that they have. If his kids are sick he doesn't really care. He cheats on his wife so his wife the SIL is clinging to my husband Because my husband has what her husband lacks.

    Leave a comment:


  • ~TwinklingStar~
    replied
    It's great that you haven't given up hope. It would be in the best interest of both of you and your kids that you put aside your differences and reconcile. That may require bending a bit and putting aside your ego, but, if it can save your marriage, it'll truly be worth it in the end.

    It won't be a victory for anyone if either of you manages to solely take the children...there'll still be a long, tough battle ahead and unfortunately, the children will be the biggest losers. Parenting is challenging and children need both parents equally. So, depriving them from the love and attention of one parent leads to damaging their mental & psychological well-being and happiness.

    Your husband may have some negative traits, but I think they're mostly influenced by his cultural upbringing. Besides, who can guarantee that the next person you marry won't have some other traits worse than these?

    Also, it would do your relationahip a lot of good if you both move somewhere far away from interfering relatives. That doesn't necessarily mean moving to another country, just some place where people cannot meet up frequently enough to fill his ears with malicious gossip.

    May Allah grant you khair.

    Leave a comment:


  • Indefinable
    replied
    That is positive.

    You should maybe consider getting ruqyah or something done. It could be sihr/ayn?

    To be honest sis, it's easy to walk away from marriage/problems, but it's more worth it to be patient and stick around.

    He could be going through a phase?

    Apart from the beating up part - which should not be happening at all - the rest could be easily explained. It could be the SIL is "like a sister"?

    In my culture cousins/extended families mix freely. I know some sisters who talk freely to their friend's husbands on phone etc. (Not justifying something haraam, I just want to show you how Westernised society has become).

    Try your hardest for reconciliation - he is the father of your kids, and children need both parents around.


    Leave a comment:


  • Allah's_Servant
    replied
    Originally posted by Indefinable View Post

    Maybe there is hope?

    He is still your husband, be patient with him.

    I don't think you should leave the country.

    May Allaah make things easy for you.

    Im not leaving and I am trying to find a way to reconcile simply because my husband may be mean and rude now but he wasn't always like this and he prays and he did listen tot he Hadith so he still fears Allah (swt)

    Allahu Amin

    Leave a comment:


  • Indefinable
    replied
    Originally posted by Allah's_Servant View Post
    So after waiting for 5 days finally my husband brought my son to me but he only brought him for 3 hours just for me to play with my son and cuddle with him and than he came back and took him. My husband wasn't even really planning to bring him out mutual uncle called him and he ignored what our mutual uncle told him to do. He only brought my son because I sent him a Hadith saying that whoever separates the mother from her son Allah will separate them from their loved ones in Jannah.
    Maybe there is hope?

    He is still your husband, be patient with him.

    I don't think you should leave the country.

    May Allaah make things easy for you.


    Leave a comment:

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