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Husband won't let me see my son

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  • #46
    Originally posted by Allah's_Servant View Post

    Im not sure how I can prevent that. Because if I don't give birth abroad my husband will bring his whole family and take the baby.
    This thread hurts me somewhere deep man. This is sad and I know as I've said before we only see one side of it so we don't have a full picture, but may Allah make it easier for you.
    ​​​​​​
    I'll be honest if the local people can't help you now I don't think they ever will. If I were you, I would go back to America, work in getting a Khula since he won't divorce you. Give birth and stay there. I would not bring my daughter back to a place that can easily take her rights.

    If you're son is an American citizen like your daughter it may be possible to involve the courts and mediate. Your husband doesn't take you both seriously but seeing as he still values some kind of relationship with America, perhaps that may help. Then again it might also make nothing better, so I don't know.

    I know you don't want to lose your son but as you said, by you staying you have no leverage and may as well lose both children. It may be hard to let go but like with the mother of Musa alayhis salaam, make dua in the nights and implore Allah and He may her return you from the hands of the oppressor.

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    • #47
      This is probably bad advice but as a mother I would do everything in my power to get my child back. I would play it so he comes back and then when he least expects it do a runner with the kids. He's not fit to be a father nor will he be a good role model for his son. If he beats you then what kind of environment is that for your children?
      ▪️••• 〰 Say what you wish in abuse of me, for my silence towards the idiot is indeed an answer. I am not at a loss for a response, but rather it does not befit the lion to answer the dogs. 〰 •••▪️

      ~ IMAM SHAFI'I RH

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      • #48
        Originally posted by Allah's_Servant View Post

        A few days before our fight one of my husbands cousins had divorced and returned to her family with her 10 month old son. Her husband came with his family and took her son from her. So it happens even if the mother is a Bedioun but usually they let her keep the child until the child is 2 than she has to return the child to the father.
        Its a regular occurrence for a husband to confiscate babies from his separated wife?
        What a bizarre culture.

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        • #49
          It might be worth going back for the sake of your kids.

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          • #50
            Originally posted by Hannahk92 View Post
            This is probably bad advice but as a mother I would do everything in my power to get my child back. I would play it so he comes back and then when he least expects it do a runner with the kids. He's not fit to be a father nor will he be a good role model for his son. If he beats you then what kind of environment is that for your children?
            I was thinking the same. I would get my son back by any means, leave for the US, file for khula and not come back.
            But not everyone's situation and character is the same and what would work for me might be reckless and borderline stupid for the sister.
            Allah knows best.

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            • #51
              Originally posted by MyUsernameIs... View Post

              Its a regular occurrence for a husband to confiscate babies from his separated wife?
              What a bizarre culture.
              I heard things like that happen in KSA and other oil sheikhdoms once the child attains certain age.

              Surprised to hear it happens elsewhere also in arab world
              Not knowing what one doesn't know will lead to difficulty

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              • #52
                Originally posted by Vishnu View Post

                I heard things like that happen in KSA and other oil sheikhdoms once the child attains certain age.

                Surprised to hear it happens elsewhere also in arab world
                It's mostly within the Bedouin tribes
                ▪️••• 〰 Say what you wish in abuse of me, for my silence towards the idiot is indeed an answer. I am not at a loss for a response, but rather it does not befit the lion to answer the dogs. 〰 •••▪️

                ~ IMAM SHAFI'I RH

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                • #53
                  You are in my duas sister, in the meantime I think Nusaiba summed up my thoughts on your post, if you have American citizenship I would at least get the courts in the US involved, or their consulate/embassy perhaps?
                  وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

                  And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


                  أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

                  Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


                  Please take a look at my travel booking website : https://destinationfindertravel.com/

                  Please take a look at my blog : http://thinkingmuslima.blogspot.co.uk/

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                  • #54
                    dont go to court
                    do it by the sharia
                    if u have any brothers or male relatives get them to help
                    dont go to court you could commit shirk
                    Last edited by Abu julaybeeb; 18-11-18, 11:07 AM.

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                    • #55
                      Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
                      dont go to court
                      do it by the sharia
                      if u have any brothers or male relatives get them to help
                      dont go to court you could commit shirk
                      Which Shariah institute?

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                      • #56
                        Originally posted by Vishnu View Post

                        I heard things like that happen in KSA and other oil sheikhdoms once the child attains certain age.

                        Surprised to hear it happens elsewhere also in arab world
                        If the children reach a certain age of maturity then fair enough if they stay with the father at times and stay with the mother (if that is the arrangement that takes place)

                        But to take babies from their mothers (without solid valid reasons) simply sounds unjust ....and bizarre.

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                        • #57
                          you should divorce your husband, i mean khula talak.

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                          • #58
                            Originally posted by Allah's_Servant View Post
                            My husband has taken my son away from me. He hasn't divorced me so I don't know where I currently stand with him. He is always at his brothers wife's house. He chats with her on WhatsApp all the time and she always sends him pictures of what she cooks and jokes. He says she's better than me that she cooks better than me. Cleans better than me. And is a better mother than me. He thinks it's fine to do and say what he is doing and saying and that's where we started to have problems. My husband believes I can't take care of my son so yesterday (He kicked me out of the house and I'm currently at my fathers it's been like this for close to three weeks) he took my 2 year old son from me and gave him to his brothers wife. Today I sent him a message asking to see my son and he did not respond. My son has been away from me for more than two weeks and I miss him but my husband is being extremely rude and won't let me see him. I'm currently 8 months pregnant and he told me to go give birth in the US and after two months to return his daughter to him.

                            im not sure what to do anymore. I've been praying and making dua but nothing is getting better only worse.
                            Salam sister

                            Hope Allah swt reunites you with your son soon and sorts out your problems...Aameen.

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                            • #59
                              Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
                              dont go to court
                              do it by the sharia
                              if u have any brothers or male relatives get them to help
                              dont go to court you could commit shirk
                              What male relatives? Sometimes you guys just don't think enough. The sister herself said that avenue didn't work, she tried. The sister's case requires immediate and legal action and unfortunately neither her husband nor his family is willing to 'negotiate', he has essentially kidnapped his own son. He is so far off from Islam, wouldn't be open to Islamic counseling either.

                              I agree with the advice given above, contact the American consulate especially if the child is an American national. She has every right for fight for her son and her unborn daughter, if that is the only way possible then take it. She is 8 months pregnant, subhanAllah.. sister..may Allah ease your affairs, grant you sakinah..aameen.
                              Last edited by .Hajar.; 18-11-18, 06:42 PM.
                              sigpic

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                              • #60
                                Originally posted by Mintchocchip View Post

                                Salam sister

                                Hope Allah swt reunites you with your son soon and sorts out your problems...Aameen.
                                aameen
                                sigpic

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