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Marriage and issue with working wife

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  • #91
    Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post

    +1

    It's off topic but I had to quote because it's quite important to note this

    ​​​​​

    Someone can make a new thread about it, it's an interesting discussion
    so now its official ... 2 people think im weird strange and wrong. off topic i know. but at least i fit in with you all

    Comment


    • #92
      Originally posted by ukfamilyman View Post

      so now its official ... 2 people think im weird strange and wrong. off topic i know. but at least i fit in with you all
      i didn't say you're any of those things, Alhamdullilah you are part of the uf family, welcome, welcome

      But me weird? Strange? thank you so much i don't mind being called that, it's like a compliment

      Being wrong, well .. it wouldn't be the first time so life goes on *accepts reluctantly*

      Welcome to the forum brother!

      ​​​​​​I think my first reply to you was on the travel section

      'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

      So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

      Comment


      • #93
        Originally posted by ukfamilyman View Post

        so now its official ... 2 people think im weird strange and wrong. off topic i know. but at least i fit in with you all
        I said I thought some of your views were that, not you yourself as a person. Some people probably think the same way when they read some of my posts.

        Comment


        • #94
          Wow, I must say some people are judgemental and judging the Wife quickly.

          This is a one-sided story, OP why should your wife cook and clean? Can't you that? Why should do the wife have to access you permission and why should her parents ask you for divorce. If you want better quality etc be a man and work properly.

          Comment


          • #95
            Originally posted by Fegave View Post
            Wow, I must say some people are judgemental and judging the Wife quickly.

            This is a one-sided story, OP why should your wife cook and clean? Can't you that? Why should do the wife have to access you permission and why should her parents ask you for divorce. If you want better quality etc be a man and work properly.
            I think you should learn from this thread. It's similar to your situation as one issue here seems to be an emphasis of one side working too much to the point where the marriage takes a back seat and takes some blows. If a couple aren't on the same wavelength with regards to how much time they spend together than things can get iffy.

            Every story on here is a one-sided story, just like yours on your own thread. The OP is a man and he is working properly, he mentions that he does have a job, I think it's really unfair to say he isn't a man.

            Comment


            • #96
              Originally posted by Medic View Post

              I think you should learn from this thread. It's similar to your situation as one issue here seems to be an emphasis of one side working too much to the point where the marriage takes a back seat and takes some blows. If a couple aren't on the same wavelength with regards to how much time they spend together than things can get iffy.

              Every story on here is a one-sided story, just like yours on your own thread. The OP is a man and he is working properly, he mentions that he does have a job, I think it's really unfair to say he isn't a man.

              I understand your point, OP is saying his wife shouldn't fund her parents lifestyle. Why shouldn't she? Also as long she is using her own money. I think the OP was the latest BMW but as his wife has priorities rather a car he is salty

              Comment


              • #97
                Originally posted by Fegave View Post


                I understand your point, OP is saying his wife shouldn't fund her parents lifestyle. Why shouldn't she? Also as long she is using her own money. I think the OP was the latest BMW but as his wife has priorities rather a car he is salty
                I don't think he wants the latest BMW. I think he just wants a normal life with his wife. I'm not sure why you keep feeling the need to be taking digs at him. You accused some people on this thread of being judgemental towards the wife but you're basically doing the exact same thing towards the husband.

                If his wife is working 60 hours a week to fund her parents lifestyle (some of which is described as being overtly costly) and this time away from home is leading to friction in the marriage then there is a serious problem. He as a husband has greater rights over her than her parents do and she needs to start making sure that he too is part of her priorities.

                Comment


                • #98
                  Originally posted by Fegave View Post


                  I understand your point, OP is saying his wife shouldn't fund her parents lifestyle. Why shouldn't she? Also as long she is using her own money. I think the OP was the latest BMW but as his wife has priorities rather a car he is salty
                  because its affecting their marriage..duh!

                  Maybe the type of woman who works from 8am-8pm is better suited to you but for any sane muslim men this is ridiculous. She is disobeying her husband and that is a huge sin in itself

                  Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

                  Comment


                  • #99
                    Update.

                    So after 6 months of fights involving my parents and her parents and uncles. Here is an update

                    1. Her family says and thinks it is her responsibility being an elder daughter to provide her parents with all means ( rent, grocery ) So if her sisters brings her kids and do shopping etc its between her and her family.

                    2. Her family says being in western culture i have share daily chores burden with her like basic laundry, cleaning, dishes etc.

                    3. I have no right to ask about her salary

                    4. My wife after all fights still wants my parents to go out of house , her point is she wants privacy and needs to live separately. So she wants either they go back to our country or i will get another living arrangement for them.

                    5. she will keep on supporting her parents and will not contribute anything to our house financially.

                    6. Wife also thinks i am after her salary, and trying to distract or objecting in her career goals.

                    So i am very upset about the fact she is putting her all time and money to her parents , even if i make peace with it. She is not letting my parents to live with us.not respecting my parents.
                    on the other hand her family specially sister are still jobless and focusing on her family and kids.


                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by j2005222 View Post
                      Update.

                      So after 6 months of fights involving my parents and her parents and uncles. Here is an update

                      1. Her family says and thinks it is her responsibility being an elder daughter to provide her parents with all means ( rent, grocery ) So if her sisters brings her kids and do shopping etc its between her and her family.

                      2. Her family says being in western culture i have share daily chores burden with her like basic laundry, cleaning, dishes etc.

                      3. I have no right to ask about her salary

                      4. My wife after all fights still wants my parents to go out of house , her point is she wants privacy and needs to live separately. So she wants either they go back to our country or i will get another living arrangement for them.

                      5. she will keep on supporting her parents and will not contribute anything to our house financially.

                      6. Wife also thinks i am after her salary, and trying to distract or objecting in her career goals.

                      So i am very upset about the fact she is putting her all time and money to her parents , even if i make peace with it. She is not letting my parents to live with us.not respecting my parents.
                      on the other hand her family specially sister are still jobless and focusing on her family and kids.

                      After all of this is the juice worth the squeeze? If not then move on with your life and if yes then deal with it.
                      "When a man sees the road as long he weakens in his walk." Ibn Qayyim

                      Comment


                      • The case for marrying career women is looking quite bleak.

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by j2005222 View Post
                          Update.

                          So after 6 months of fights involving my parents and her parents and uncles. Here is an update

                          1. Her family says and thinks it is her responsibility being an elder daughter to provide her parents with all means ( rent, grocery ) So if her sisters brings her kids and do shopping etc its between her and her family.

                          2. Her family says being in western culture i have share daily chores burden with her like basic laundry, cleaning, dishes etc.

                          3. I have no right to ask about her salary

                          4. My wife after all fights still wants my parents to go out of house , her point is she wants privacy and needs to live separately. So she wants either they go back to our country or i will get another living arrangement for them.

                          5. she will keep on supporting her parents and will not contribute anything to our house financially.

                          6. Wife also thinks i am after her salary, and trying to distract or objecting in her career goals.

                          So i am very upset about the fact she is putting her all time and money to her parents , even if i make peace with it. She is not letting my parents to live with us.not respecting my parents.
                          on the other hand her family specially sister are still jobless and focusing on her family and kids.

                          Nothing has changed...not one thing....
                          Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
                            The case for marrying career women is looking quite bleak.
                            Is she chasing her career? OP never mentioned that.. Looks like she works like a dog to fund her parents and sister's lifestyle...
                            Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by shay5 View Post

                              Is she chasing her career? OP never mentioned that.. Looks like she works like a dog to fund her parents and sister's lifestyle...
                              Well, he said:

                              6. Wife also thinks i am after her salary, and trying to distract or objecting in her career goals.

                              Comment

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