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Is culture really all that important when it comes to marriage?

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  • #61
    Originally posted by eesa the kiwi View Post

    Nz culture is rugby and beer. I don't drink and I don't like rugby
    Last edited by Morose; 08-12-18, 07:52 PM.


    • #62
      Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
      There are still Western raised Muslims who are very in tune with their "back home" culture. Therefore, they're more attracted to someone from the same culture.

      And even if there weren't, people prefer a similar background because it's just easier for the families to mesh well and get along.
      I think it about being in "tune" with what parents left from 20-30 years afo and not necessarily with current state.


      • #63
        Salaams all,

        I would say culture is not everything when it comes to marriage and is not a deal breaker for me. However, it is very important. Even everyday things such as what to cook become complicated. If I marry a man from a different culture, he would not be familiar with the cultural foods I cook. I grew up in the US, but the culture I follow at home is that of my country of origin. It is just a matter of convenience for me to marry within my culture. However, I would marry outside of my culture, but first choice is to marry a man from my culture. Also, it would be harder to relate to inlaws from a different culture. It is a lot more work trying to blend 2 cultures. I know we can make Islam our culture, but what is Islamic culture? What is Islamic food? There is halal food, but it can be cooked a variety of ways. You cannot completely erase culture or our differences because it is ingrained in our everyday lives with food being the perfect example. If I marry man from a different culture I would have to learn how to cook all those dishes from his culture & that is a lot of work lol.. Also, I would feel like an outsider with his family. They might be ok with him marrying me, but I know I would not be their ideal choice for him. I think many people choose to marry within their culture due to compatibility & practicality. It is not always due to feelings of superiority or racism though that might be the reason sometimes as well.

        I also feel like I would be more welcome into a family of the same culture who shares the same language. For females we are leaving our family and joining his. It can be a difficult transition if they are not of the same culture or even skin color.

        I think this is more of an issue for us muslims who live in the west, because we live in an environment where people from our respective cultural backgrounds are a very small minority. So, there is a very small pool of potential candidates. For those living "back home", it's not an issue because they are living around a large pool of people from their cultural background. In my home country, marriage does not seem to be difficult for young females at all. I know I would have been married by now if I was living back home.. Lol.. This conversation comes up for us muslims here, because we realize that if we narrow our pool to just potentials from our background it would be hard. I believe this is why a lot of brothers go back home to marry, because there are just more options back home. There are not many muslims of any culture in the west to begin with, so if you narrow it down to your culture, it's much harder to find a spouse.
        Therefore remember Me, I will remember you, And be thankful to Me, and do not be ungrateful to Me." [Qur'an 2:152]
        Behold in the Remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction."
        [Al Quran 13:28]