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Is culture really all that important when it comes to marriage?

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  • Gingerbeardman
    replied
    Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

    i dont think so
    all of my views fall inine with islam says
    if it goes against islam i dont take it
    So you still follow some culture, there is culture which goes against islamic beliefs and behaviours, but there is a huge degree which don't. So you have some elements of culture. Some of this you are going to differ from a spouse.

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  • Abu julaybeeb
    replied
    Originally posted by .khayriyyah. View Post

    Yelling for no good reason, speaking your mind, personal comments, etc. These things are very, very, very rude. I've never been around people like this until I've gotten involved in the Muslim community.
    kuffar do that aswell
    and people from all cultures do that
    its an individual type of person not a specific culture in my opinion
    id say they are just rude and lack adaab

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  • Abu julaybeeb
    replied
    Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post

    You way you talk, your slang, the way you type, comes from your British upbringing son. You have some British culture whether you like it or not.
    i meant my original ethnic backround culture

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  • Rumaysah~
    replied
    It's extremely important. Even amongst those who were raised in the west, they were all raised within different cultures, you can't just dismiss that and assume they have a lot in common, enough for a successful marriage.

    ​​​​

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  • Ummy
    replied
    Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

    that as well if you consider that being cultural or inheriting culture
    What is more cultural than language?

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  • .khayriyyah.
    replied
    Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

    like what
    Yelling for no good reason, speaking your mind, personal comments, etc. These things are very, very, very rude. I've never been around people like this until I've gotten involved in the Muslim community.
    Last edited by .khayriyyah.; 15-11-18, 07:08 AM.

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  • Stoic Believer
    replied
    Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

    i dont think so
    all of my views fall inine with islam says
    if it goes against islam i dont take it
    You way you talk, your slang, the way you type, comes from your British upbringing son. You have some British culture whether you like it or not.

    Leave a comment:


  • Abu julaybeeb
    replied
    Originally posted by Gingerbeardman View Post

    It's almost certainly not, there will be 1001 mannerisms, ideas, patterns of behaviour which will be informed by your culture brought to you by your family. A few, perhaps many of them will cause a disagreement between a husband and a wife.
    i dont think so
    all of my views fall inine with islam says
    if it goes against islam i dont take it

    Leave a comment:


  • Gingerbeardman
    replied
    Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

    the only part of my culture i hold still is eating curry n rice
    thats about it
    It's almost certainly not, there will be 1001 mannerisms, ideas, patterns of behaviour which will be informed by your culture brought to you by your family. A few, perhaps many of them will cause a disagreement between a husband and a wife.

    Leave a comment:


  • Abu julaybeeb
    replied
    Originally posted by .khayriyyah. View Post
    There are things people from other cultures do that I've found to be very offensive. I'm sure this is something many don't want to deal with.
    like what

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  • .khayriyyah.
    replied
    There are things people from other cultures do that I've found to be very offensive. I'm sure this is something many don't want to deal with.

    Leave a comment:


  • Abu julaybeeb
    replied
    Originally posted by Abu 'Abdullaah View Post

    What about language?
    that as well if you consider that being cultural or inheriting culture

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  • LailaTheMuslim
    replied
    It matters as something I cannot control. I don't actually harbour negativity to people of other cultures, don't put any weight on stereotypes for picking friends or marriage suitors.
    Last edited by LailaTheMuslim; 12-12-18, 01:16 AM.

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  • Abu 'Abdullaah
    replied
    Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

    the only part of my culture i hold still is eating curry n rice
    thats about it
    What about language?

    Leave a comment:


  • Sister_2009
    replied
    Tough question. Iíd say it depends on the individuals and how recent of an immigrant they are.

    My family on one side has been here since the 1600s (?). The other side, Iím 4th generation. I donít know what my culture is. There really isnít a single American culture, I donít believe. I guess Iíd go with California culture, and a specific area there, because when Iím with people from that place, we connect pretty easily.

    So, having been married to someone who came from overseas (Arab ethnicity) and then being married to some who was born here (Jewish ethnicity), the commonalities I notice and appreciate are pretty simple, which is being able to understand a joke or nuances (thatís difficult for someone not from here). You find yourself explaining a lot about what is going on around you, which can be annoying (I appreciate people who Ďgetí things quickly).

    Beyond that, there are family differences, and those, I donít know for sure if theyíre related to culture, like competition and bragging about education and wages, as though that is a real deciding factor about a person. I canít relate, but Iíve noticed this in my new family. Mine doesnít discuss that; itís more about entrepreneurial topics.

    But where I really see good connection is in, for example, having a similar family size or growing up in a certain type of neighborhood, like social status or class.

    Meh. I donít know. Find someone you like and go from there.

    Leave a comment:

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