Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Is culture really all that important when it comes to marriage?

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #31
    Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post

    You way you talk, your slang, the way you type, comes from your British upbringing son. You have some British culture whether you like it or not.
    i meant my original ethnic backround culture

    Comment


    • #32
      Originally posted by .khayriyyah. View Post

      Yelling for no good reason, speaking your mind, personal comments, etc. These things are very, very, very rude. I've never been around people like this until I've gotten involved in the Muslim community.
      kuffar do that aswell
      and people from all cultures do that
      its an individual type of person not a specific culture in my opinion
      id say they are just rude and lack adaab

      Comment


      • #33
        Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

        i dont think so
        all of my views fall inine with islam says
        if it goes against islam i dont take it
        So you still follow some culture, there is culture which goes against islamic beliefs and behaviours, but there is a huge degree which don't. So you have some elements of culture. Some of this you are going to differ from a spouse.
        FOLLOW THE NEW BLOG - GINGERBEARDMAN - Muslim, father, husband, writer, defender of ginger rights!

        www.facebook.com/outreach4Islam - Outreach4Islam have been working together in Leicester, calling the not yet Muslims to Islam since 2006.

        Comment


        • #34
          For me the culture doesn’t matter at all since my culture first of all is Islam. However for danish reverts as me you’re also more likely to get married to someone who doesn’t have the same “background” as us. Well I still understand that families who are from other countries, but living in the west for example, feel easier to get along with someone with their own traditions. Traditions seem to play a big role in what people consider as their “culture” today.

          Comment


          • #35
            Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
            kuffar do that aswell
            and people from all cultures do that
            its an individual type of person not a specific culture in my opinion
            id say they are just rude and lack adaab

            It's not limited to one culture. There are other groups of people who are even known to do these things.

            When I mentioned how these things annoy me to my friends, they laughed and said it's normal. The ones who grew up there didn't seem to understand why I was so offended. Some of the people guilty of this didn't even realize why I avoided interacting with them until they kept pestering me and got an answer.

            This kind of behavior was considered to be vulgar in the circles I grew up in. It's definitely not something that's accepted as normal. If someone acted like this everyone would be shocked. I would have gotten into so much trouble if I had said the same things to people in the presence of my mother.
            Last edited by .khayriyyah.; 15-11-18, 06:33 PM.
            "Had Allah lifted the veil for his slave and shown him how He handles his affairs for him, and how Allah is more keen for the benefit of the slave than his own self, his heart would have melted out of the love for Allah and would have been torn to pieces out of thankfulness to Allah. Therefore if the pains of this world tire you do not grieve. For it may be that Allah wishes to hear your voice by way of duaa. So pour out your desires in prostration and forget about it and know; that verily Allah does not forget it."
            - Ibn al Qayyim (rahimahullah)

            Comment


            • #36
              Originally posted by .khayriyyah. View Post
              Yelling for no good reason, speaking your mind, personal comments, etc. These things are very, very, very rude. I've never been around people like this until I've gotten involved in the Muslim community.
              Same

              I was taught not to raise my voice or be so abrupt, to speak gently and calmly

              It's definitely not normal or part of the culture I'm from, however some people do talk loudly- well they shout and yell (for no reason at all) they think they're in the right to do so.

              Some of the aunties I live next to are like this and it's normal to them. It's such a headache.

              Where my family is from, it's just seen as rowdy, vulgar, lacks feminity and class.


              'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

              So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

              Comment


              • #37
                Originally posted by Rumaysah~ View Post
                It's extremely important. Even amongst those who were raised in the west, they were all raised within different cultures, you can't just dismiss that and assume they have a lot in common, enough for a successful marriage.

                ​​​​
                I'm not saying you dismiss it, just that you have enough things in common with someone from a 'different' background as you as long as both parties have grown up in a similar way. You may not have everything in common, but that's normal.

                مَّن ذَا الَّذِي يُقْرِضُ اللّهَ قَرْضًا حَسَنًا فَيُضَاعِفَهُ لَهُ أَضْعَافًا كَثِيرَةً وَاللّهُ يَقْبِضُ وَيَبْسُطُ وَإِلَيْهِ تُرْجَعُونَ

                "Who is he that will loan to Allah a beautiful loan, which Allah will double unto his credit and multiply many times?
                It is Allah that giveth (you) Want or plenty, and to Him shall be your return."
                Surah al-Baqarah
                [2:245]

                .:.
                .:. Perfer et Obdura : Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim .:.
                Be patient and strong : someday this pain will be useful to you

                .:.
                ...said the spider to the fly...

                Comment


                • #38
                  Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post

                  Same

                  I was taught not to raise my voice or be so abrupt, to speak gently and calmly

                  It's definitely not normal or part of the culture I'm from, however some people do talk loudly- well they shout and yell (for no reason at all) they think they're in the right to do so.

                  Some of the aunties I live next to are like this and it's normal to them. It's such a headache.

                  Where my family is from, it's just seen as rowdy, vulgar, lacks feminity and class.

                  I wouldn't say it lacks femininity just because somebody is a bit louder and more out going. I see it as more of a personality thing than a cultural thing, although some cultures are simply more expressive and energetic than others.

                  It definitely has nothing to do with femininity or class. Who defines those things and makes the rules?

                  The sister also mentioned speaking your mind. What is wrong with speaking your mind?

                  Me being naturally a quiet person, I've never thought about a culture as being either too loud or too quiet and never thought that these things make them rude, classless, masculine (for women), feminine (for men), weak etc. People are either kind and welcoming or they're not regardless of what volume they express these qualities in. That's what matters, to me anyway. I find this way of thinking, that only our quiet way of being is right and acceptable and everything else is beneath us, as a strange way of thinking and quite close minded. It's similar to how many white westerners view everyone else that's different to them.
                  شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
                  فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
                  وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
                  ونورُ الله لا يهدى لعاصي

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    I don't understand what people mean when they say, "My culture is Islam" or "I have no culture".

                    Culture is not necessarily evil or bad. Some practices which go against the teachings of Islaam are obviously wrong - but why "hate" everything else?

                    Social Anthropology is a really interesting subject to study.


                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Originally posted by Rumaysah~ View Post

                      I wouldn't say it lacks femininity just because somebody is a bit louder and more out going. I see it as more of a personality thing than a cultural thing, although some cultures are simply more expressive and energetic than others.

                      It definitely has nothing to do with femininity or class. Who defines those things and makes the rules?

                      The sister also mentioned speaking your mind. What is wrong with speaking your mind?

                      Me being naturally a quiet person, I've never thought about a culture as being either too loud or too quiet and never thought that these things make them rude, classless, masculine (for women), feminine (for men), weak etc. People are either kind and welcoming or they're not regardless of what volume they express these qualities in. That's what matters, to me anyway. I find this way of thinking, that only our quiet way of being is right and acceptable and everything else is beneath us, as a strange way of thinking and quite close minded. It's similar to how many white westerners view everyone else that's different to them.
                      your not quiet on uf

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Originally posted by Indefinable View Post
                        I don't understand what people mean when they say, "My culture is Islam" or "I have no culture".

                        Culture is not necessarily evil or bad. Some practices which go against the teachings of Islaam are obviously wrong - but why "hate" everything else?

                        Social Anthropology is a really interesting subject to study.

                        u might aswell quote me

                        well bengali culture is pretty bad
                        i dont know anything good from it apart from being social with family and taking care of family and curry

                        everything else i just see bad
                        freemixing between in laws cousins and family friends
                        focus on education and less on the deen
                        focus on education dont get married
                        the love of the western lifestyle
                        gossip
                        caring about what others will think of you and your reputation
                        the hatred on divorcees and older women
                        and looming down upon people of different skin color race linege and education
                        all this inherited hindu traditions
                        all this biddah and shirk within the culture
                        list is endless

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Originally posted by Rumaysah~ View Post

                          I wouldn't say it lacks femininity just because somebody is a bit louder and more out going. I see it as more of a personality thing than a cultural thing, although some cultures are simply more expressive and energetic than others.

                          It definitely has nothing to do with femininity or class. Who defines those things and makes the rules?

                          The sister also mentioned speaking your mind. What is wrong with speaking your mind?

                          Me being naturally a quiet person, I've never thought about a culture as being either too loud or too quiet and never thought that these things make them rude, classless, masculine (for women), feminine (for men), weak etc. People are either kind and welcoming or they're not regardless of what volume they express these qualities in. That's what matters, to me anyway. I find this way of thinking, that only our quiet way of being is right and acceptable and everything else is beneath us, as a strange way of thinking and quite close minded. It's similar to how many white westerners view everyone else that's different to them.


                          Nothing wrong with speaking your mind when you are respectful in your speech and not undermining/humiliating someone.

                          Loud in the rowdy sense, raising your voice, being disruptive. Outgoing has nothing to do that. Neither are being expressive or energetic. They're not related to being a pest which is the total opposite what you're talking about.

                          Who defines femininity? Religion. I'm sure you are already aware of what religion teaches, how we should speak, walk (especially women) and how we should carry ourselves in general. Religion is a way of life.

                          Have to state the obvious though, no one is perfect.

                          I have to disagree with your comment about white westerners. This attitude regarding superiority is not exclusive to the white people only. It's a problem with all skin colours, both east East and West.
                          'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                          So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                            Nothing wrong with speaking your mind when you are respectful in your speech and not undermining/humiliating someone.
                            Well that's not true. There is something wrong with speaking your mind, if your mind is full of nonsense.

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

                              your not quiet on uf
                              Maybe that's because I am a keyboard warrior...

                              shouldn't judge people by their online 'personalities'
                              شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
                              فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
                              وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
                              ونورُ الله لا يهدى لعاصي

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                Originally posted by Rumaysah~ View Post

                                Maybe that's because I am a keyboard warrior...

                                shouldn't judge people by their online 'personalities'
                                im not judging u as bad
                                your just not quiet

                                keyboard warrior isnt good
                                you should be the same online or offline unless its to do with hayaa

                                and we judge by the apparent

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X