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Is culture really all that important when it comes to marriage?

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  • zi-zizou
    replied
    Originally posted by Hannahk92 View Post
    Depends on the individual. If they are cultural then they will not be compatible with someone from a different culture. Personally, I don't think culture is important.
    You can follow a culture of your own but you can be open and accepting of other positive elements of other cultures. It all plays a part in who you are it also plays a part in how you evolve. The main issue is when you shut yourself our of learning from new experiences and cling to bad practices within your own culture.

    But generally keep good company to form a solid foundation and other things become less troublesome.

    Leave a comment:


  • Hannahk92
    replied
    Depends on the individual. If they are cultural then they will not be compatible with someone from a different culture. Personally, I don't think culture is important.

    Leave a comment:


  • .khayriyyah.
    replied
    Originally posted by Rumaysah~ View Post

    I wouldn't say it lacks femininity just because somebody is a bit louder and more out going. I see it as more of a personality thing than a cultural thing, although some cultures are simply more expressive and energetic than others.

    It definitely has nothing to do with femininity or class. Who defines those things and makes the rules?

    The sister also mentioned speaking your mind. What is wrong with speaking your mind?

    Me being naturally a quiet person, I've never thought about a culture as being either too loud or too quiet and never thought that these things make them rude, classless, masculine (for women), feminine (for men), weak etc. People are either kind and welcoming or they're not regardless of what volume they express these qualities in. That's what matters, to me anyway. I find this way of thinking, that only our quiet way of being is right and acceptable and everything else is beneath us, as a strange way of thinking and quite close minded. It's similar to how many white westerners view everyone else that's different to them.
    When I mentioned speaking your mind I was referring to people who have no filter and say everything that comes into their head.

    Leave a comment:


  • Abu julaybeeb
    replied
    Originally posted by Rumaysah~ View Post

    Maybe that's because I am a keyboard warrior...

    shouldn't judge people by their online 'personalities'
    im not judging u as bad
    your just not quiet

    keyboard warrior isnt good
    you should be the same online or offline unless its to do with hayaa

    and we judge by the apparent

    Leave a comment:


  • Rumaysah~
    replied
    Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

    your not quiet on uf
    Maybe that's because I am a keyboard warrior...

    shouldn't judge people by their online 'personalities'

    Leave a comment:


  • Fais
    replied
    Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
    Nothing wrong with speaking your mind when you are respectful in your speech and not undermining/humiliating someone.
    Well that's not true. There is something wrong with speaking your mind, if your mind is full of nonsense.

    Leave a comment:


  • Ya'sin
    replied
    Originally posted by Rumaysah~ View Post

    I wouldn't say it lacks femininity just because somebody is a bit louder and more out going. I see it as more of a personality thing than a cultural thing, although some cultures are simply more expressive and energetic than others.

    It definitely has nothing to do with femininity or class. Who defines those things and makes the rules?

    The sister also mentioned speaking your mind. What is wrong with speaking your mind?

    Me being naturally a quiet person, I've never thought about a culture as being either too loud or too quiet and never thought that these things make them rude, classless, masculine (for women), feminine (for men), weak etc. People are either kind and welcoming or they're not regardless of what volume they express these qualities in. That's what matters, to me anyway. I find this way of thinking, that only our quiet way of being is right and acceptable and everything else is beneath us, as a strange way of thinking and quite close minded. It's similar to how many white westerners view everyone else that's different to them.


    Nothing wrong with speaking your mind when you are respectful in your speech and not undermining/humiliating someone.

    Loud in the rowdy sense, raising your voice, being disruptive. Outgoing has nothing to do that. Neither are being expressive or energetic. They're not related to being a pest which is the total opposite what you're talking about.

    Who defines femininity? Religion. I'm sure you are already aware of what religion teaches, how we should speak, walk (especially women) and how we should carry ourselves in general. Religion is a way of life.

    Have to state the obvious though, no one is perfect.

    I have to disagree with your comment about white westerners. This attitude regarding superiority is not exclusive to the white people only. It's a problem with all skin colours, both east East and West.

    Leave a comment:


  • Abu julaybeeb
    replied
    Originally posted by Indefinable View Post
    I don't understand what people mean when they say, "My culture is Islam" or "I have no culture".

    Culture is not necessarily evil or bad. Some practices which go against the teachings of Islaam are obviously wrong - but why "hate" everything else?

    Social Anthropology is a really interesting subject to study.

    u might aswell quote me

    well bengali culture is pretty bad
    i dont know anything good from it apart from being social with family and taking care of family and curry

    everything else i just see bad
    freemixing between in laws cousins and family friends
    focus on education and less on the deen
    focus on education dont get married
    the love of the western lifestyle
    gossip
    caring about what others will think of you and your reputation
    the hatred on divorcees and older women
    and looming down upon people of different skin color race linege and education
    all this inherited hindu traditions
    all this biddah and shirk within the culture
    list is endless

    Leave a comment:


  • Abu julaybeeb
    replied
    Originally posted by Rumaysah~ View Post

    I wouldn't say it lacks femininity just because somebody is a bit louder and more out going. I see it as more of a personality thing than a cultural thing, although some cultures are simply more expressive and energetic than others.

    It definitely has nothing to do with femininity or class. Who defines those things and makes the rules?

    The sister also mentioned speaking your mind. What is wrong with speaking your mind?

    Me being naturally a quiet person, I've never thought about a culture as being either too loud or too quiet and never thought that these things make them rude, classless, masculine (for women), feminine (for men), weak etc. People are either kind and welcoming or they're not regardless of what volume they express these qualities in. That's what matters, to me anyway. I find this way of thinking, that only our quiet way of being is right and acceptable and everything else is beneath us, as a strange way of thinking and quite close minded. It's similar to how many white westerners view everyone else that's different to them.
    your not quiet on uf

    Leave a comment:


  • Indefinable
    replied
    I don't understand what people mean when they say, "My culture is Islam" or "I have no culture".

    Culture is not necessarily evil or bad. Some practices which go against the teachings of Islaam are obviously wrong - but why "hate" everything else?

    Social Anthropology is a really interesting subject to study.


    Leave a comment:


  • Rumaysah~
    replied
    Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post

    Same

    I was taught not to raise my voice or be so abrupt, to speak gently and calmly

    It's definitely not normal or part of the culture I'm from, however some people do talk loudly- well they shout and yell (for no reason at all) they think they're in the right to do so.

    Some of the aunties I live next to are like this and it's normal to them. It's such a headache.

    Where my family is from, it's just seen as rowdy, vulgar, lacks feminity and class.

    I wouldn't say it lacks femininity just because somebody is a bit louder and more out going. I see it as more of a personality thing than a cultural thing, although some cultures are simply more expressive and energetic than others.

    It definitely has nothing to do with femininity or class. Who defines those things and makes the rules?

    The sister also mentioned speaking your mind. What is wrong with speaking your mind?

    Me being naturally a quiet person, I've never thought about a culture as being either too loud or too quiet and never thought that these things make them rude, classless, masculine (for women), feminine (for men), weak etc. People are either kind and welcoming or they're not regardless of what volume they express these qualities in. That's what matters, to me anyway. I find this way of thinking, that only our quiet way of being is right and acceptable and everything else is beneath us, as a strange way of thinking and quite close minded. It's similar to how many white westerners view everyone else that's different to them.

    Leave a comment:


  • Pippin1376
    replied
    Originally posted by Rumaysah~ View Post
    It's extremely important. Even amongst those who were raised in the west, they were all raised within different cultures, you can't just dismiss that and assume they have a lot in common, enough for a successful marriage.

    ​​​​
    I'm not saying you dismiss it, just that you have enough things in common with someone from a 'different' background as you as long as both parties have grown up in a similar way. You may not have everything in common, but that's normal.

    Leave a comment:


  • Ya'sin
    replied
    Originally posted by .khayriyyah. View Post
    Yelling for no good reason, speaking your mind, personal comments, etc. These things are very, very, very rude. I've never been around people like this until I've gotten involved in the Muslim community.
    Same

    I was taught not to raise my voice or be so abrupt, to speak gently and calmly

    It's definitely not normal or part of the culture I'm from, however some people do talk loudly- well they shout and yell (for no reason at all) they think they're in the right to do so.

    Some of the aunties I live next to are like this and it's normal to them. It's such a headache.

    Where my family is from, it's just seen as rowdy, vulgar, lacks feminity and class.


    Leave a comment:


  • .khayriyyah.
    replied
    Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
    kuffar do that aswell
    and people from all cultures do that
    its an individual type of person not a specific culture in my opinion
    id say they are just rude and lack adaab

    It's not limited to one culture. There are other groups of people who are even known to do these things.

    When I mentioned how these things annoy me to my friends, they laughed and said it's normal. The ones who grew up there didn't seem to understand why I was so offended. Some of the people guilty of this didn't even realize why I avoided interacting with them until they kept pestering me and got an answer.

    This kind of behavior was considered to be vulgar in the circles I grew up in. It's definitely not something that's accepted as normal. If someone acted like this everyone would be shocked. I would have gotten into so much trouble if I had said the same things to people in the presence of my mother.
    Last edited by .khayriyyah.; 15-11-18, 07:33 PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • irorafae
    replied
    For me the culture doesn’t matter at all since my culture first of all is Islam. However for danish reverts as me you’re also more likely to get married to someone who doesn’t have the same “background” as us. Well I still understand that families who are from other countries, but living in the west for example, feel easier to get along with someone with their own traditions. Traditions seem to play a big role in what people consider as their “culture” today.

    Leave a comment:

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