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  • I hate my husband

    I met my husband last november we got married 2 months later and got pregnant with a baby boy. Before marriage he was sweet and kind and ofcourse i was wild and did many bad things in life , during out relationship he was obbsessed with me and ended up getting previous chats of me from years before i met him and till this day uses it against me and calls me a whore and other bad names when we fight, he purposely was trying to find out about my past and holds it against me whenever we fight, during my last months of pregnancy i went to canada to my family so i can give birth while hes still overseas, and we constantly fought i realized i was never in love with him and was stupid to have married him, keep in mind i married him at 21 im still young, i hate him so much hes really an awful man and i dont know what to do , he divorced me once by saying talag but repented, i wish he can divorce me and for us to be civil and raise our son mutually but he is crazy and says if i divorce him he’ll take my child away from me and make my life hell.. i dont know what to do.. i cant stay married to him , i truly hate him and have no love for him whatsoever.. i feel like i an trapped :(

  • #2
    hes wrong in what hes doing bringing your past up and making an issue of it after marriage
    that should of been spoken about and dealt with before marriage between you two to prevent something like this happening
    him saying u cant see the child is not allowed in islam unless your not a good muslim

    if you have sincerely repented and are faithful to him and you fulfill his marital rights then he should either stay with you and keep his mouth shut or divorce u

    are u saying your not in love with him because of all these fights and him attacking your past question your self
    because if thats the case love wouldnt really go coz of arguments and someone talking bad about you it will just make your relationship bad

    most muslims who get arranged marriage arent in love before marriage and many married coupled arent in love anyway that shows that love isnt required for a marriage
    it may improve a marriage but its not always necessary

    Umar RA said to a man who was thinking of divorcing his wife: “Why do you want to divorce her?” He said, “I do not love her.” ‘Umar RA said, “Must every house be built on love? What about loyalty and appreciation?”

    he may argue with you
    but think about all the other things he does do for you and things hes willing to do for you
    also think about your child
    every child needs parents and being in a family is better than divorced parents unless they continue fighting and the child witnesses this
    if you guys can for the sake of your child overcome this it will be better
    these arguments can be overcome and sorted out if hes willing to try
    maybe you just need some marital councelling
    this dream of being in love with your spouse has been exaggerated by movies and cartoons
    reality is half these married couples arent in love but stay for the children or because the spouse fulfills their marital rights
    think wisely and dont be hasty as divorce can have major consequences good or bad


    if he cant go past this issue maybe divorce is better as its better for your child to have parents that are civil than not civil parents


    and you should delete your past conversations from your past if you already havent
    when u leave your past you should try to eliminate it completely


    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
      hes wrong in what hes doing bringing your past up and making an issue of it after marriage
      that should of been spoken about and dealt with before marriage between you two to prevent something like this happening
      him saying u cant see the child is not allowed in islam unless your not a good muslim

      if you have sincerely repented and are faithful to him and you fulfill his marital rights then he should either stay with you and keep his mouth shut or divorce u

      are u saying your not in love with him because of all these fights and him attacking your past question your self
      because if thats the case love wouldnt really go coz of arguments and someone talking bad about you it will just make your relationship bad

      most muslims who get arranged marriage arent in love before marriage and many married coupled arent in love anyway that shows that love isnt required for a marriage
      it may improve a marriage but its not always necessary

      Umar RA said to a man who was thinking of divorcing his wife: “Why do you want to divorce her?” He said, “I do not love her.” ‘Umar RA said, “Must every house be built on love? What about loyalty and appreciation?”

      he may argue with you
      but think about all the other things he does do for you and things hes willing to do for you
      also think about your child
      every child needs parents and being in a family is better than divorced parents unless they continue fighting and the child witnesses this
      if you guys can for the sake of your child overcome this it will be better
      these arguments can be overcome and sorted out if hes willing to try
      maybe you just need some marital councelling
      this dream of being in love with your spouse has been exaggerated by movies and cartoons
      reality is half these married couples arent in love but stay for the children or because the spouse fulfills their marital rights
      think wisely and dont be hasty as divorce can have major consequences good or bad


      if he cant go past this issue maybe divorce is better as its better for your child to have parents that are civil than not civil parents


      and you should delete your past conversations from your past if you already havent
      when u leave your past you should try to eliminate it completely


      Dear friend, my husband does not appreciate me at all nor does he respect me, nor does he have a job. Its been a year and he has not earned one single paycheck or search for a job when i tell him to do so and that no woman would be with a man that had no job or supports her he tells me no man would marry a “whore” with a bad past and i should keep my mourh shut... he is constantly bringing up the past.. i fear that if i do anything or try to leave he will tell my entire family about my past and “expose” me and he has said that numerous times

      Comment


      • #4
        It a pretty narrow situation TBH. You have two choices, either stay and bear the situation or leave and deal with what follows. Either way it will be painful. Welcome to Dunya.

        Know that everyone has to go through tribulations in Dunya. Just from personal experience my parents had horrible years of marriage where it seemed impossible with no light at the end of the tunnel and only now after we siblings have grown up, the situation has calmed down a bit. Since you have repented, focus on that road and seek the pleasure of Allah, once you’re focused rest will seem insignificant and easy to bear.

        Comment


        • #5
          Lesson of this thread: Make sure you know who you are going to marry and have kids and not make an impulsive careless decision.
          The Prophet s.a.a.w warned when he said: "You will surely follow the ways of those who came before you, in exactly the same fashion, to the point were they to enter the hole of a lizard, you too would enter it." It was asked of him, "O Messenger of Allah s.a.a.w., do you mean the Jews and Christians?" He replied, "Who else?" (Bukhari and Muslim)

          Comment


          • #6
            It's not wise to share your private life with the internet.

            Comment

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