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How to gauge a potential's sense of humor?

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  • budi.sudaryo
    started a topic How to gauge a potential's sense of humor?

    How to gauge a potential's sense of humor?

    Assalamu 'alaykum,

    Brothers and sisters, humor is an important aspect in my life. It's hard imagining living with someone that I can't laugh with and just looks puzzlingly everytime I joke (moreover, I have a deadpan/subtle sense of humor that some people don't get). How would you gauge a potential's sense of humor? Or do you even make it a consideration? Jazakumullahu khair.

  • zi-zizou
    replied
    Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

    im not being prideful

    i said that because he tried to imply i have no intelligence

    Leave a comment:


  • Oakenshield
    replied
    Displaying a sense of humour is not about flirting and coquettish behaviour nor is it putting on a full stand up comedy routine. If someone comes across sullen and miserable, then that is usually because they are like that. ( maybe their sense of humour is something they only share with the voices in their heads)

    Leave a comment:


  • uccello verde
    replied
    Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

    i dont think its good for potentials to joke about in meetings

    its not appropriate and it can lead to fitna
    I agree, that is what I was implying with my words.

    Leave a comment:


  • imran1976
    replied
    Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post

    If I was the girl, i'd think to myself how many girls has this person flirted with

    PUT OFF

    I would also assume you're very comfortable with chatting to girls unnecessarily

    Be yourself though
    Great ........

    Leave a comment:


  • .khayriyyah.
    replied
    Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post

    You think so? :/

    Isn't that the problem, behaving the same way with women and men
    It's different with men because he is a male.

    A female might get the wrong signal.

    I wouldn't like it if he is too casual with other females. They become too friendly to the point they'll feel like mates and that's when problems arise because people get too comfortable
    Aren't you trying to gauge what the person you could spend the rest of your life's personality is like, though? It only makes sense to be yourself. Shaykh Assim spoke about this before.

    Leave a comment:


  • Abu julaybeeb
    replied
    Originally posted by uccello verde View Post
    Generally, in that situation potential making jokes would be bit out there. (Who doesn't, like person with sense of humor. ) But, he can come across, as someone who has been doing a lot flirting/laughing.

    ​​​​​​Better, ask common interests and what he is doing with his free time. (Obviously, Deen has been checked, first)
    i dont think its good for potentials to joke about in meetings

    its not appropriate and it can lead to fitna

    Leave a comment:


  • Abu julaybeeb
    replied
    Originally posted by HafidhMoinul View Post

    Pride is no good
    im not being prideful

    i said that because he tried to imply i have no intelligence

    Leave a comment:


  • HafidhMoinul
    replied
    Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

    هههههه
    my iq is ok
    Pride is no good

    Leave a comment:


  • Ya'sin
    replied
    Originally posted by .khayriyyah. View Post

    I think this is a bit of a stretch, to be honest. It could be that they're being themself and they're generally a friendly person. They could be treating you the same way they treat men.
    You think so? :/

    Isn't that the problem, behaving the same way with women and men
    It's different with men because he is a male.

    A female might get the wrong signal.

    I wouldn't like it if he is too casual with other females. They become too friendly to the point they'll feel like mates and that's when problems arise because people get too comfortable
    Last edited by Ya'sin; 23-12-18, 10:21 PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • .khayriyyah.
    replied
    Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post

    If I was the girl, i'd think to myself how many girls has this person flirted with

    PUT OFF

    I would also assume you're very comfortable with chatting to girls unnecessarily

    Be yourself though
    I think this is a bit of a stretch, to be honest. It could be that they're being themself and they're generally a friendly person. They could be treating you the same way they treat men.

    Leave a comment:


  • uccello verde
    replied
    Generally, in that situation potential making jokes would be bit out there. (Who doesn't, like person with sense of humor. ) But, he can come across, as someone who has been doing a lot flirting/laughing.

    ​​​​​​Better, ask common interests and what he is doing with his free time. (Obviously, Deen has been checked, first)

    Leave a comment:


  • Oakenshield
    replied
    Originally posted by budi.sudaryo View Post

    Good idea but I am not sure how to have a witty banter without coming across as flirting.
    I don't think it would be considered flirting as both parties are fully aware of the purpose of the meeting...now stop making excuses and get in there with your top bants.

    Leave a comment:


  • Ya'sin
    replied
    Originally posted by budi.sudaryo View Post

    Good idea but I am not sure how to have a witty banter without coming across as flirting.
    If I was the girl, i'd think to myself how many girls has this person flirted with

    PUT OFF

    I would also assume you're very comfortable with chatting to girls unnecessarily

    Be yourself though

    Leave a comment:


  • Ya'sin
    replied
    Just mention it to her that sense of humour is important to you and ask her what she thinks about it

    ​​​​​You won't be able to tell until you live with her

    My sense of humour comes across rude and sometimes nerdy but like I said before, as long as it makes me laugh, don't know, don't care mate

    As long as you can communicate with her, do isthikhaara when you make the final choice

    Leave a comment:

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