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  • British stucked mind/Dating?/marriage thoughts

    AssalamoAlaykom, Hello everyone.
    I'm super new here I just signed up right now.

    I'm an Egyptian girl, 26 years old. I don't consider myself "late" for not being married or in a relationship yet. As nowadays things are slightly different and the society changed a little bit.

    But I've a thought that I want to share with you & take your opinion, lately I've been so into meeting a Muslim English/British guy, I really don't know why maybe because of the culture or because I love a lot of things that's British, maybe because I think he'd be with different background, maybe I'd like to marry someone who has a whole different mind/culture/background than mine.
    I don't know.

    But I caught myself searching for good apps and trying to find that dreamy guy online lol, which led me to this forum (and I'm thankful for that)

    I feel stucked, I'm not searching for immediate marriage and I also don't mean dating but I'd like to know the guy for quite enough time before deciding anything of course, I don't know if I'm rushing to search online?

    Should I stop searching and let things happen? Am I wrong to think about marrying someone from different background? I'm just a huge believer that whatever we ask Allah for will really happen. Do you advice me to keep searching? And if so, where?!

    I just feel that kind of "lonely" feeling, I'm a "strong independent woman" as they say lol, I never show that but I really would like to hear your advice.

    sorry for writing that long, Thank you.

  • #2
    You can marry someone from any background but you cannoy be into a guy for so long without marriage... you should keep it formal and not postpone marriage

    strong and independant is not how Allah made woman, we are made from a rib of a man, and men are the protectors of woman, femenism is a western illusion

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    • #3
      Waalikumsalam

      welcome to the forum, hope you benefit from it

      Stop dating men because that isn't permissible. It's not the right thing for us muslimahs, if religion is special to you then this will be easy to end.

      Do you have male family members (a wali) or auntie's that can help you?

      Ask Muslims you know to help you.
      Don't chat with a man alone because the third person is Satan.

      It will lure you into sinning and destroying your dignity.

      I think you like the western culture because it sells the world to you. Maybe the men in your culture and life have ruined the image of Islam.
      Which is the case for other cultures. They don't potray the true image and now you're turning to other men to fill that gap.

      Have a read about religion and the seerah of our beloved prophet sallalahu alihisalam.

      Don't let perverts mess you around and do things properly by having someone else read your messages.




      'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

      So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Kaas View Post
        You can marry someone from any background but you cannoy be into a guy for so long without marriage... you should keep it formal and not postpone marriage

        strong and independant is not how Allah made woman, we are made from a rib of a man, and men are the protectors of woman, femenism is a western illusion
        What a beautiful answer.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Nash View Post
          AssalamoAlaykom, Hello everyone.
          I'm super new here I just signed up right now.

          I'm an Egyptian girl, 26 years old. I don't consider myself "late" for not being married or in a relationship yet. As nowadays things are slightly different and the society changed a little bit.

          But I've a thought that I want to share with you & take your opinion, lately I've been so into meeting a Muslim English/British guy, I really don't know why maybe because of the culture or because I love a lot of things that's British, maybe because I think he'd be with different background, maybe I'd like to marry someone who has a whole different mind/culture/background than mine.
          I don't know.

          But I caught myself searching for good apps and trying to find that dreamy guy online lol, which led me to this forum (and I'm thankful for that)

          I feel stucked, I'm not searching for immediate marriage and I also don't mean dating but I'd like to know the guy for quite enough time before deciding anything of course, I don't know if I'm rushing to search online?

          Should I stop searching and let things happen? Am I wrong to think about marrying someone from different background? I'm just a huge believer that whatever we ask Allah for will really happen. Do you advice me to keep searching? And if so, where?!

          I just feel that kind of "lonely" feeling, I'm a "strong independent woman" as they say lol, I never show that but I really would like to hear your advice.

          sorry for writing that long, Thank you.
          My thoughts :

          Dating is haram and you should have a mahram/wali who reads your conversations and accompanies you on your meetings. Why do you want to delay marriage? How much do you need to know a guy before you decide he is the one for you. Lengthy courtships bring about their own problems...

          If you liked British culture then why not go for any British muslim (asian, african, arab etc). What have you been watching that has attracted you tospecifically English men. When you use words like a 'dreamy' guy it makes me think you've been watching too many movies..or are living in some fantasy world..

          You say you are feeling lonely but then say you don't want to an immediate marriage. That's confusing...

          Is your family ok with you marrying out your culture?
          Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

          Comment


          • #6
            There was a similar thread recently (Egyptian woman wanting British man) with lots of advice. Maybe reading through that thread carefully will help.

            https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/fa...lamic-marriage

            It was mentioned in OP that you’re not ready but are looking. This really isn’t fair to potentials to essentially waste their time if you’re not ready. I would wait until you’re sure you want to be married, then start looking.

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            • #7
              Assalamualikum sister! I am just gonna advice you on ''should I marry someone with different background?'' in this modern world it is a big NOOOOO for me! why? because nowadays people want everyone to do what they say/want! so imagine if you get frustrated when someone has a different mindset then you,how about when their culture is completely different from you lololo that's all imma say.
              NO RACISM

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Nash View Post
                AssalamoAlaykom, Hello everyone.
                I'm super new here I just signed up right now.

                I'm an Egyptian girl, 26 years old. I don't consider myself "late" for not being married or in a relationship yet. As nowadays things are slightly different and the society changed a little bit.

                But I've a thought that I want to share with you & take your opinion, lately I've been so into meeting a Muslim English/British guy, I really don't know why maybe because of the culture or because I love a lot of things that's British, maybe because I think he'd be with different background, maybe I'd like to marry someone who has a whole different mind/culture/background than mine.
                I don't know.

                But I caught myself searching for good apps and trying to find that dreamy guy online lol, which led me to this forum (and I'm thankful for that)

                I feel stucked, I'm not searching for immediate marriage and I also don't mean dating but I'd like to know the guy for quite enough time before deciding anything of course, I don't know if I'm rushing to search online?

                Should I stop searching and let things happen? Am I wrong to think about marrying someone from different background? I'm just a huge believer that whatever we ask Allah for will really happen. Do you advice me to keep searching? And if so, where?!

                I just feel that kind of "lonely" feeling, I'm a "strong independent woman" as they say lol, I never show that but I really would like to hear your advice.

                sorry for writing that long, Thank you.
                Wa alaykumus salaam,

                Avoid the aps, avoid almost all the Muslim matriomonial websites, I would also say avoid marrying at all for now because you seem to think you can have it both ways, marriage, i.e the halal and meeting up, getting to know, which of-course in almost every instance I've ever seen leads to haram of one degree or another.

                So you need to read up, watch lectures on what marriage actually is, and the process. Then you need to build your reliance upon Allah to a degree where you can go through the process in a halal manner, avoiding the pitfalls and traps which befall so many of the youth these days.
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