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Thoughts on getting married when you have nothing of your own?

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  • Thoughts on getting married when you have nothing of your own?

    Ok so my family is forcing me to get married either to one of my cousins or anyone else I want to,but I work with my father which technically means I still live with my parents! I have nothing of my own but my family says it's better for me to get married so that my future wife can keep an eye on me lolol.
    I simply used to say no but now everyday there's a discussion in the house regarding my marriage which means I won't have any choice!
    Anyone who is married went through this? What are my options?
    NO RACISM

  • #2
    do it y not

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by ElNino View Post
      Ok so my family is forcing me to get married either to one of my cousins or anyone else I want to,but I work with my father which technically means I still live with my parents! I have nothing of my own but my family says it's better for me to get married so that my future wife can keep an eye on me lolol.
      I simply used to say no but now everyday there's a discussion in the house regarding my marriage which means I won't have any choice!
      Anyone who is married went through this? What are my options?
      You have an opportunity many Muslim men do not.

      We will never be married and grow old alone and die alone because of our rubbish lives/circumstances.

      Let that sink in for you, inshaAllah.

      Noone's going to force you to marry one. Be grateful you have parents who care enough to get you married.
      If you want someone of your own choice, be proactive about finding someone.

      Don't squander the opportunity to marry - ever. You work for your father, good. Take an active, greater, responsible role in the business and step up. How easy is that? Even in work you have another opportunity that most Muslim men don't, especially in this horrible economy.

      Be a man. Get it done. Also, your wife is not your babysitter. Your family's thinking is childish and backward, with respect. You guard your wife and are her companion, she is not your childminder.
      Last edited by distractedandlost; 07-10-18, 12:45 PM.

      Comment


      • #4
        Marry someone you WANT and LIKE, don't just agree to marriage because your family are telling you

        You are a man, I was a girl, felt like a burden
        you should have a choice, if you can't speak up now, how will you handle any issues that may arise with your wife

        Make it clear you are living with your parents and your long term goals

        Make sure you learn to be INDEPENDENT

        Key word: INDEPENDENT

        Are you ready to look after a lady? Can you look after yourself?

        If the answers to those questions are two big fat nos,
        Just stay single until your confident

        ​​​​
        A woman should not be keeping her eye on you, she's not your babysitter

        Are you Asian? If so, GET IT OUT OF YOUR HEAD

        You are going to be your wife's guardian

        'Good luck man, good luck'

        It's all about responsibilities. If you fail, *gulps* I wouldn't wanna be you

        Brothers, what can I say to you lot, if the Muslim women are more determined than you and more independent than a husband should be, you have failed us all. Step up.

        ​​​​​​




        'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

        So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

        Comment


        • #5
          Nonsense when families get their sons married off so that he doesn't do anything bad

          I'm not waiting for my husband to keep me in check
          I have to control myself, likewise a husband should know what is right or wrong and use his own initiative

          We are adults, not kids who need supervision or direction

          Yes, spouses can help one another but don't expect someone else to be your guide

          You need that discipline yourself
          'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

          So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

          Comment


          • #6
            If don't want to get married then tell them. If they are trying to push then stand on your ground and ask: "How long do you think the marriage will last and do you think I will bring the women back here" ? If that is a bit too dark, then just try to explain your daddy that you don't want to get married.

            Also grow bit of fortitude and dont ruin some innocent women life because you could not do it.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by HelloEverybody View Post
              If don't want to get married then tell them. If they are trying to push then stand on your ground and ask: "How long do you think the marriage will last and do you think I will bring the women back here" ? If that is a bit too dark, then just try to explain your daddy that you don't want to get married.

              Also grow bit of fortitude and dont ruin some innocent women life because you could not do it.

              Thank you, well said

              I agree

              Although I may sound harsh I genuinely mean well for all those that will get involved for the marriage

              Marriage is so serious, if anything goes wrong, it can effect more than two people

              'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

              So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

              Comment


              • #8
                There are men that desire companionship for life, they want to commit and dedicate to their religion and family

                These are the men that are more likely to succeed because marriage is for them and it is meaningful to them
                'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                  There are men that desire companionship for life, they want to commit and dedicate to their religion and family

                  These are the men that are more likely to succeed because marriage is for them and it is meaningful to them
                  They do also need the means and the background to do so, however (as you said yourself). Otherwise they will be rejected and not unfairly.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                    Nonsense when families get their sons married off so that he doesn't do anything bad
                    A bit unfair if you ask me that "naughty boys" get married off quickly, while "good boys" have to push through studies and job for long time. During studies they may remain good or not. If they don't steer off bad ways, you will get guys who feel entitled for someone same only to be disappointed for way things are.

                    Or not, maybe I'm just projecting.



                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by HelloEverybody View Post

                      A bit unfair if you ask me that "naughty boys" get married off quickly, while "good boys" have to push through studies and job for long time. During studies they may remain good or not. If they don't steer off bad ways, you will get guys who feel entitled for someone same only to be disappointed for way things are.

                      Or not, maybe I'm just projecting.


                      It is unfair and despicable because the families should not be seeking marriage as a means to fix their useless and messed up sons

                      'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                      So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post

                        It is unfair and despicable because the families should not be seeking marriage as a means to fix their useless and messed up sons
                        alot of asians do this sadly boys n girls

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by ElNino View Post
                          Ok so my family is forcing me to get married either to one of my cousins or anyone else I want to,but I work with my father which technically means I still live with my parents! I have nothing of my own but my family says it's better for me to get married so that my future wife can keep an eye on me lolol.
                          I simply used to say no but now everyday there's a discussion in the house regarding my marriage which means I won't have any choice!
                          Anyone who is married went through this? What are my options?


                          Assalmu alaikoum,

                          It sounds like your not ready. Marriage is not a joke, are you emotionally ready for a relationship? and to take care of another person?

                          And what do you mean by your family is forcing you? no one can force you to do anything, your a man. If you cant even talk about this with your family now, then what will happen when you get married and you deal with situations with your wife. How will you deal with it? Are you just going to say you cant do nothing because your family is forcing you?
                          I do apologize if I come across rude or anything, but marriage is a serious matter please do think about it.

                          Comment

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