Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

I want a divorce. But i am afraid.

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #31
    Originally posted by Fegave View Post
    Sister, grow up and stop being weak. You're a strong women! Your parents DO NOT control your life, THEY DO NOT have a say in your life. It is YOUR life. Go to the authorities they'll help you and if you have to cut contact with your parents. What kind of parents tells their kid to stay with a mental abuser.


    Go and get a great life for YOU and your un-born child. Government of Canada will help you get on your feet, there plenty of single mothers who're strong and don't need anyone's help. Also, the guy threatening to find you tells to the police and they'll put through protective custody, giving you a new name everything. He won't be able to find you at all- These are all low threats from a little man who enjoys abusing women.
    It would be better to have her parents by her side. If the parents aren't by her side the situation will be harder for her. It's easy to tell her to grow up and what not but I'm in the same situation as her except I Alhamduillah have the support of my parents.

    So I gave her the same advice my mom gave me. Leave and give birth in Canada show him that she has the upper hand in the whole situation make him sign a letter stating that he'll change along with 2 witnesses and if he doesn't agree and get parents don't want a divorce simple just don't go back
    Don't depend too much on anyone in this world because even your own shadow leaves you when you are in the darkness

    Comment


    • #32
      Originally posted by Allah's_Servant View Post

      It would be better to have her parents by her side. If the parents aren't by her side the situation will be harder for her. It's easy to tell her to grow up and what not but I'm in the same situation as her except I Alhamduillah have the support of my parents.

      So I gave her the same advice my mom gave me. Leave and give birth in Canada show him that she has the upper hand in the whole situation make him sign a letter stating that he'll change along with 2 witnesses and if he doesn't agree and get parents don't want a divorce simple just don't go back

      An evil person like this, no doubt will just lie. I dont see how signing a letter swearing he wont do it again, witnessed by 2 people will change that.
      If he has no problem uttering blatant kufr and as such, and abusing her.

      People like that dont just change and cannot be trusted.
      Allah is always watching [VIDEO]

      How To Weep For The Fear Of Allah

      Please remember to share these links with people you know so they can also benefit from them. :jkk:

      Comment


      • #33
        Originally posted by Mikha’eel View Post


        An evil person like this, no doubt will just lie. I dont see how signing a letter swearing he wont do it again, witnessed by 2 people will change that.
        If he has no problem uttering blatant kufr and as such, and abusing her.

        People like that dont just change and cannot be trusted.
        She should write in the letter that he makes an Oath to Allah to change and pray and not curse Allah and respect her. If he breaks any of these than she should tell him she wants a divorce or khula based on the fact that he did not keep his path.

        Some people change. If he wasn't like this in the beginning than he can change of he was than it's her parents fault for marrying and I'm upset that her parents won't stand up for her now
        Don't depend too much on anyone in this world because even your own shadow leaves you when you are in the darkness

        Comment


        • #34
          Dear sister,

          I know the boat you are on. You are at the beginning of what can and is very likely to be a torturing voyage.

          Please consider what others have told you. You can continue making excuses for him but he has crossed many red lines that sometimes you are too blind to see.

          Living with someone who can not control themselves is extremely hard and you will suffer tens and tens of folds the suffering you are going through now.

          If a baby is on the way, do you want someone, his or her father, to verbally and physically abuse them? As a mother, you will know what I’m talking about when you are a mother. You will not stand for it. A divorce now is better than a divorce during child raising. Think of your child and your iman. You also don’t want him to influence your iman negatively. Don’t worry about others opinions about the divorce, because your safety and security and future are on the line. Please seek help and do not allow him into Canada or your safe home.

          I hope this helps. Do NOT give him excuses.
          I will keep you in my prayers inshaAllah.

          Assalamu Alaykum.

          Comment


          • #35
            Pretty much all the advises have been said, and i agree.

            to add on,(in the near future) after you have cool down and pretty much things are stable find a good practising muslim man to become your husband. (after your iddah is over )
            Also to become a good father to your child. take a break, a trip , with your family, relax your mind.

            you can try research more about the protective custody and also join the support group for people who have face similar situation as yours.

            Also, learn from our mistakes, if any. (time to reflect)
            may Allah help you.

            Comment


            • #36
              Originally posted by Skhs1919 View Post
              Dear sister,

              I know the boat you are on. You are at the beginning of what can and is very likely to be a torturing voyage.

              Please consider what others have told you. You can continue making excuses for him but he has crossed many red lines that sometimes you are too blind to see.

              Living with someone who can not control themselves is extremely hard and you will suffer tens and tens of folds the suffering you are going through now.

              If a baby is on the way, do you want someone, his or her father, to verbally and physically abuse them? As a mother, you will know what I’m talking about when you are a mother. You will not stand for it. A divorce now is better than a divorce during child raising. Think of your child and your iman. You also don’t want him to influence your iman negatively. Don’t worry about others opinions about the divorce, because your safety and security and future are on the line. Please seek help and do not allow him into Canada or your safe home.

              I hope this helps. Do NOT give him excuses.
              I will keep you in my prayers inshaAllah.

              Assalamu Alaykum.
              Sister no offence but here you are advising her of divorce and seeking help when you are unwilling to seek outside help yourself.

              You should re read your reply to this sister and take some of your own advice.

              Comment


              • #37
                Salam,

                Dear mintchocchip,

                Thank you for your concerns! And for your thoughts too.

                This sister I believe is going through extreme mental abuse and that is very likely to turn physical.

                With my case, there’s verbal abuse but nothing mental or physical. Alhamdulillah. For now I can handle things! If it gets to be too much I will seek outside help. We have family and the law for a reason.

                If I were going through the same thing as this sister, I’d do as I advised her to do. It would be tough because I wouldn’t see reality quite right. It would be e x t r e m e l y tough. So who knows.

                But please sister, again, I did not forget about your problem on this forum, please do get help and don’t allow him into your home. Don’t take his words lightly.

                Allahu Akbar.

                Salam

                Comment


                • #38
                  Originally posted by Skhs1919 View Post
                  Salam,

                  Dear mintchocchip,

                  Thank you for your concerns! And for your thoughts too.

                  This sister I believe is going through extreme mental abuse and that is very likely to turn physical.

                  With my case, there’s verbal abuse but nothing mental or physical. Alhamdulillah. For now I can handle things! If it gets to be too much I will seek outside help. We have family and the law for a reason.

                  If I were going through the same thing as this sister, I’d do as I advised her to do. It would be tough because I wouldn’t see reality quite right. It would be e x t r e m e l y tough. So who knows.

                  But please sister, again, I did not forget about your problem on this forum, please do get help and don’t allow him into your home. Don’t take his words lightly.

                  Allahu Akbar.

                  Salam
                  Walaikum asalaam

                  For some reason you deleted your posts on your thread. However you did say in your reply

                  Originally posted by Skhs1919 View Post
                  Salam.

                  I can agree with him sometimes, it’s easy to take things for granted, so I try to remind myself to thank him and be grateful for everything I have because of him. Sometimes though it’s quite frustrating for me because I cannot find logic in him.
                  He is the first son and only in his family and I have a feeling now that this is cultural, now. Maybe his self image is low and he’s taking it out on me and himself emotionally. He refuses to ever apologize, but we do calm down a couple days after his shouting and accusations. It’s a cycle that is exhausting mentally.


                  So it is verbal as well as mental. It normally does start like that before it gets physical as you yourself said.

                  Anyway hope Allah swt eases your affairs.

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    .
                    وَلَا تَكُونُوا كَالَّذِينَ نَسُوا اللَّهَ فَأَنسَاهُمْ أَنفُسَهُمْ

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Why do people post threads and never reply
                      ''If the bedouins and city dwellers were to fight between themselves until they wipe each other out, it will surely be less significant than them appointing a taghoot in the land which rules by that which is against the Shari'ah of Islaam which Allah sent his Messenger ﷺ with'' - Sheikh Sulayman bin Sahmaan

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X