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How to find someone?

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  • How to find someone?

    So I’m female and 25. I would like to marry soon but my family are pressuring me to find someone quick. I was always taught not to talk to boys or do anything like that, so now, with my family telling me too, I don’t know where to look or how to. My parents have found potentials but for some reason or another, the whole family can’t decide on any single guy to pursue.

    Nowadays, looking online is scary and I don’t want to end up doing anything haram or end up catfished. So just struggling.

    What is the best way to get to know a guy, without seeming too eager and give the wrong impression and still keep it halal?

    any advice is welcome!

    Jazakallah! ☺️☺️

  • #2
    Ask friends or any other family members that might know someone.
    “Have you seen he who has taken as his god his [own] desire, and Allah has sent him astray due to knowledge and has set a seal upon his hearing and his heart and put over his vision a veil? So who will guide him after Allah ? Then will you not be reminded? And they say, “There is not but our worldly life; we die and live, and nothing destroys us except time.” And they have of that no knowledge; they are only assuming.” Quran 45:23-24

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    • #3
      Purematrimony
      Alhumdulillah

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      • #4
        Tell your family to help you keep looking and remind them you will not start 'dating'. It's dangerous for your iman. Remember, the third person in the room is Satan when a man and woman are alone.

        It is your wali's job to find you a good man.

        Stay firm with what you were taught about interacting with men.

        If you choose online searching DO NOT do it alone, get your dad, uncle, or brother to communicate with them.

        'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

        So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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        • #5
          Originally posted by obaid_m View Post
          Ask friends or any other family members that might know someone.
          +1

          If you ask your friends just make sure you remind them about your standards and dignity
          you're not interested in getting to know someone without your dad or mahram there

          a serious and committed potential is likely to stay through out this process Someone who wants a yucky fling will wimp out


          'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

          So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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          • #6
            Assalamualaikum,

            It all depends on your current life situation.

            -If you're young below 25, chances are you've still connected or know many friends from college or university and it isn't at all uncommon that you may turn to them and ask for relations or people they know who are currently looking for marriage also.

            -If you're above 30, chances are your friends circle is smaller than before and you have a small handful of likeminded friends whom you may turn to for finding a suitable spouse. Or it is a good shout to turn to family and even "online" islamic marriage websites as there are a big community of 25-45 year olds looking for marriage there.

            The main thing is to make dua to Allah for assistance and also travel out to these people, talk and see if it is something working out for you. If you're not all that comfortable to do it alone then you may seek help from a friend or family.

            Jazakallah Khair and may Allah help us all in this endevour.

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