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Fiance wants our future kids to follow his culture only and not mine?

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  • Fiance wants our future kids to follow his culture only and not mine?

    Assalamwalakum,

    I am an indian woman and the man i want to marry is pakistani. But because of the war going on back at home my fiance believes that when we have kids it its not okay for them to be labelled as half indian but that they should be labelled as fully pakistani. He believes this because in india , hindus are killing muslims and believes that by saying you are indian you are identifyinf yourself with the kuffars. I really dont understand why this is an issue when we are both canadian and we are muslims and we should be focusing on raising them islamically not culturally. He wants me to suppress my indian culture so that when we are married we are strictly just following his culture. For example the childrrn will never ever be allowed to cheer for an indian cricket team but only Pakistani. We have been fighting about this for a while and i think he js willing to walk away if he doesnt get his way. So please any islamic advice on what the right thing to do would be of so much help ia.

    jzk

  • #2
    Why do you want to marry him?

    Pakistan Da Best.

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    • #3
      Abu 'Abdullaah because i love him? we have spent two years together and our families are involved as well. i really do not get how your question has to do w anything i just wrote

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      • #4
        Culture is important too, I love it when I go to a city where they have many different ethnicities people with their own culture, language etc you get to eat different kinds of food from different culture. Imagine if we all became same race and culture that will be very boring. Maybe you should find an indian muslim guy, I always believe you should marry within your own ethnicity, you wouldn't get problems like above.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Aheema93 View Post
          Abu 'Abdullaah because i love him? we have spent two years together and our families are involved as well. i really do not get how your question has to do w anything i just wrote
          How long have you been fighting over your countries?

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          • #6
            Abu 'Abdullaah for the past couple of months. I have not been fighting over it and i do not care if our future kids follow his culture more but i just do not want to feel like i have to suppress mine. Islamically, we shouldnt even be fighting over these things.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Aheema93 View Post
              Abu 'Abdullaah for the past couple of months. I have not been fighting over it and i do not care if our future kids follow his culture more but i just do not want to feel like i have to suppress mine. Islamically, we shouldnt even be fighting over these things.
              For me, such ardent nationalism is a red flag. As you said, you shouldn't even be fighting over such because both cultures are full of nonsense.

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              • #8
                Abu 'Abdullaah I agree with you completely. I just want to do the right thing and that is why I am here on this thread because I want to know what Islam says about all of this. I know a wife must be obedient to her husband when married but is this okay for him to ask of me? Are we focusing on the wrong things i.e. worldly things? or should we be focusing on how to raise them to be good muslims...

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Aheema93 View Post
                  Abu 'Abdullaah I agree with you completely. I just want to do the right thing and that is why I am here on this thread because I want to know what Islam says about all of this. I know a wife must be obedient to her husband when married but is this okay for him to ask of me? Are we focusing on the wrong things i.e. worldly things? or should we be focusing on how to raise them to be good muslims...
                  Of course... but is he a nationalist? If so, you're going to have a hard time convincing him.

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                  • #10
                    This is the dumbest thing Ihave heard all day. Get a life. This man wants to raise his kids culturally and not islamically; it's best you don't marry such a dummy.
                    Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

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                    • #11
                      Your kids might not even watch cricket. They might not even identify as indian or pakistani and just call themselves 'Canadian Muslims'

                      DUMBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB
                      Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

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                      • #12
                        Get him to sign up here and we'll straighten him out.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by ThisIsJannah View Post
                          Culture is important too, I love it when I go to a city where they have many different ethnicities people with their own culture, language etc you get to eat different kinds of food from different culture. Imagine if we all became same race and culture that will be very boring. Maybe you should find an indian muslim guy, I always believe you should marry within your own ethnicity, you wouldn't get problems like above.
                          It's the same culture, just different 'names'.
                          Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

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                          • #14
                            You said it yourself, you should raise your kids islamically, good manners and growing into good people. All this culture stuff is nonsense, you should raise your children the way you see see is best. He obviously cares more about what others think than what's best for the marriage and future family, and if you're living in Canada does it really matter anyway? A person like that is a big red flag, I get you've been together for a while but you don't truly know someone till you marry them and there's a paradigm shift in that. The islamic response is you follow what the sunnah and teachings of the Quran, there's no concept of what culture to follow or do this and that it's all a social construct.

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                            • #15
                              Kids are always reffered to what their father is
                              يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

                              O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

                              Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

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