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how do I get married?

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  • how do I get married?

    asalamu alaykum, I want to get married I live in USA, I would prefer a sister from Asia, preferably south east Asia (like Philippines, Malaysia, Indonesia, Pakistan and India is good too,

    note: please do not be offended by my preference


    and yes I'm definitely willing to travel because I want to make hijrah ASAP,
    but how do I go about it?, I have spoken to imam's, but really haven't much luck,

    so how would I contact or find a wakil for a sister?, and if she is in another country its no problem at all,

  • #2
    This forum isnt meant as a matchmaker medium
    يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

    O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

    Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by abuadila View Post
      ...and yes I'm definitely willing to travel because I want to make hijrah ASAP,
      but how do I go about it?, I have spoken to imam's, but really haven't much luck...
      I think you need something like a travel agent for that bro.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by aynina View Post
        This forum isnt meant as a matchmaker medium
        well I was kind of asking for advice, but thanks anyway

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Abu 'Abdullaah View Post

          I think you need something like a travel agent for that bro.
          hmmm? you mean to get married? traveling is not the issue.

          Comment


          • #6
            Separate your marriage thoughts from your intention of making hijrah, you make hijrah feesabilillah not for a woman just fyi

            stay away from matchmaking websites.

            for example if you move to Philippines pick a Muslim neighborhood, go to the local masajid and speak to the imam and ask if he knows anyone he trusts who can find a sister that's looking for marriage.
            They say you contradicted the sayings of the shuyookh
            And they don't mind contradicting the Furqan

            I contradicted the sayings of the shuyookh
            For you have contradicted the one who came with the Qur'an

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by abuadila View Post

              hmmm? you mean to get married? traveling is not the issue.
              Then travel...? You want to move anyway, right?

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              • #8
                Originally posted by ummsayfullah View Post
                Separate your marriage thoughts from your intention of making hijrah, you make hijrah feesabilillah not for a woman just fyi

                stay away from matchmaking websites.

                for example if you move to Philippines pick a Muslim neighborhood, go to the local masajid and speak to the imam and ask if he knows anyone he trusts who can find a sister that's looking for marriage.
                Theres no issue in marrying someone who also has the intention of making hijra

                but yed hijra for the sake of Allah is different to hijra for the sake of marriagr

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                • #9
                  hmmm.. good answers thanks everyone jaazaa kallahu khayr, I have been flip flopping on the marriage thing to be honest,


                  it's just been very difficult I'm trying to stay strong, I dunno maybe I should just forget marriage all together... I keep trying to get my mind off women and those things but this sickening loneliness always comes back to me,


                  but Hijrah for Allah is more important anyway besides I always told myself if I didn't get married at 26 then forget it...


                  I'm not 24 turning 25 soon, my odds don't look good, sorry if I sound negative or offensive I'm in one those depressed moods again.. but alhamdullilah also I guess I should acknowledge the fact that marriage is not waajib,

                  so uhh yeah thanks for your replies and hearing me out! may Allah reward all of you with good husband's\wives and happy and healthy marriage's ameen

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by abuadila View Post
                    hmmm.. good answers thanks everyone jaazaa kallahu khayr, I have been flip flopping on the marriage thing to be honest,


                    it's just been very difficult I'm trying to stay strong, I dunno maybe I should just forget marriage all together... I keep trying to get my mind off women and those things but this sickening loneliness always comes back to me,


                    but Hijrah for Allah is more important anyway besides I always told myself if I didn't get married at 26 then forget it...


                    I'm not 24 turning 25 soon, my odds don't look good, sorry if I sound negative or offensive I'm in one those depressed moods again.. but alhamdullilah also I guess I should acknowledge the fact that marriage is not waajib,

                    so uhh yeah thanks for your replies and hearing me out! may Allah reward all of you with good husband's\wives and happy and healthy marriage's ameen
                    Aameen.

                    I don't think you should give up yet - just keep hopeful for the best possible outcome In Sha Allaah.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      You could try to recite the following dua


                      رَبِّ إِنِّي لِمَا أَنْـزَلْتَ إِلَيَّ مِنْ خَيْرٍ فَقِيرٌ


                      Musaa (peace be upon him) made this dua.

                      He was hired and got married.
                      Watch those eyes

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by abuadila View Post
                        hmmm.. good answers thanks everyone jaazaa kallahu khayr, I have been flip flopping on the marriage thing to be honest,


                        it's just been very difficult I'm trying to stay strong, I dunno maybe I should just forget marriage all together... I keep trying to get my mind off women and those things but this sickening loneliness always comes back to me,


                        but Hijrah for Allah is more important anyway besides I always told myself if I didn't get married at 26 then forget it...


                        I'm not 24 turning 25 soon, my odds don't look good, sorry if I sound negative or offensive I'm in one those depressed moods again.. but alhamdullilah also I guess I should acknowledge the fact that marriage is not waajib,

                        so uhh yeah thanks for your replies and hearing me out! may Allah reward all of you with good husband's\wives and happy and healthy marriage's ameen
                        try sunnahmatch.com they are based in UK but I'm sure you can make something work out!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Searching for a spouse was an absolute nightmare, the worst experience of my life. I will never forget it.

                          It was a relief when I found someone that agreed to marry me but all that wait, stress, pressure, anxiety, toxicity was not worth it. If there is 100% support from those around you, life is much easier.

                          i used matrimonial websites because we didn't have many helpful people around us

                          The mosque wanted money, so my dad paid their agencies to help me

                          Lol

                          Still no suitable match, I didn't like any of them but had to say yes and those that wanted to see me only did so because they wanted a maid for their families, they weren't seeking companionship which marriage is about.


                          one man working just at this agency could not help himself from making comments about me, later I found out they were showing photos of girls (including mine) without my permission to potential grooms

                          It's too late to take action now (also, I don't have solid evidence for it) i don think anyone understands how angry I feel

                          ​​​
                          Bitter experience, did I learn anything? Yeh, it's a hard knock life




                          'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                          So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Just keep searching

                            ​​​​​​Be patient no matter how frustrating and make your intentions pure

                            'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                            So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                              Searching for a spouse was an absolute nightmare, the worst experience of my life. I will never forget it.

                              It was a relief when I found someone that agreed to marry me but all that wait, stress, pressure, anxiety, toxicity was not worth it. If there is 100% support from those around you, life is much easier.

                              i used matrimonial websites because we didn't have many helpful people around us

                              The mosque wanted money, so my dad paid their agencies to help me

                              Lol

                              Still no suitable match, I didn't like any of them but had to say yes and those that wanted to see me only did so because they wanted a maid for their families, they weren't seeking companionship which marriage is about.


                              one man working just at this agency could not help himself from making comments about me, later I found out they were showing photos of girls (including mine) without my permission to potential grooms

                              It's too late to take action now (also, I don't have solid evidence for it) i don think anyone understands how angry I feel

                              ​​​
                              Bitter experience, did I learn anything? Yeh, it's a hard knock life

                              I wanted to PM you regarding your above post. I can't PM anyone on this account and I have been locked out of my old account.
                              InshAllah I will send you a message when my usual account is back.

                              Comment

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