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Advice on Marriage

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  • Advice on Marriage

    Asalamu Alaikum,

    I am in a bit of Dilemma. I have spoken to my family about the way I want to conduct my Nikah. A simple way which helps us to receive the blessing of Allah SWT. I strongly believe the presence of angels are required for the barakah in the married life. But my parents are planning for a huge wedding. And one of the funniest thing I have noticed even the girl's family is promoting dowry (they are giving gold which is 10 times of the Mahar which I offered ) which is exactly a Hindu tradition. I saw people laughing at me when I argued against this tradition.
    If I agree to them and followed this tradition, I can't do that......

    I believe there is an accountability and balance for everything from the God
    How can I make them understand this?

  • #2
    Walaiakum asalam

    Just don't take part in it. Tell them your reasons and say you want nothing to do with it. If the girls family are giving gold that you nor your family have asked for then that should not really be a problem.


    • #3
      It's your wedding take charge . You will face obstacles and some unwanted opinions but ignore them and move. Simple weddings are the best.
      Ya Allah,
      Make me a stronger person today. Make me a better person out of all these. It is no longer bearable for me for my heart is aching and You are the only One who knows how I feel. Nothing is making sense to myself and for anyone else for that matter especially to the one person I wish to understand me better than anybody else.
      "Don't use the sharpness of your tongue on the mother who taught you how to speak


      • #4
        Tell them to sign up on here. We'll set them straight.


        • #5
          It's very difficult to fight families if they're funding it in part or fully.


          • #6
            They can pay for the extravagance

            Don't give them your money lol (unless they are paying for it anyway?)
            You've told them what you want, I don't think they'll be laughing if they see you not pay a penny

            People don't understand unfortunately
            They just want to celebrate and they associate weddings with extravagance

            People don't know what simple is, they have to see it to understand that a wedding can be classy but simple and special too

            You will have to put your foot down though because this is just the beginning of the silly cultural beliefs

            'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

            So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman


            • #7
              You can say No to the girls family giving lot of gold, saying it is too much and unnecessary and feels like dowry. But realize at the end of the day, that gold belongs to your wife and it is her decision whether she accepts the gift or not. That is her belonging. Many Asian family give gold during wedding in place of inheritance to daughter. Tell them your intention and your stand. If they choose to go above and beyond, that is their call. Not something you should fight against but definitely let them know you are not impress by the gold