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  • complex

    i have this complex that say my sis in law was a dr i dont know how i would deal with it esp because drs are very confident if not arrogant ?

    i dont really get along with people because of my shy nature so i just have this fear of not being liked and given my ordinary basic personality how will i get along with people who are drs and engineers etc when it comes to education iam very behind for my age and its not something very technical either

    i know i wont be marrying a dr however there is always the sis in law...

  • #2
    A bit unfair! The (Muslim) doctors / surgeons, etc I've met and spoken to and interacted with on a personal level were some of the nicest, most humble people, tbh. You wouldn't know their profession from their mannerisms at all.
    LAA ILAAHA ILLALLAH
    -------------------------------
    "And if you would count the graces of God, never could you be able to count them. Truly, God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Qur'aan 16:18)
    NOTE: Please kindly do NOT rep my posts. (Jazaa'akumullah).

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    • #3
      It hasn't happened, you don't know the profession of your future in law family so your wasting your time worrying about it. Your sis in law might not be a professional.

      Everyone is not the same so you may have met some arrogant professionals but they are not all the same.

      Also does not mean someone is confident they are arrogant. Profession has nothing to do with confidence and arrogance.

      Ask Allah (swt) to overcome your complex issue.

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      • #4
        You'll have to get over this problem because you will make it difficult for yourself if you don't

        There is a mix of different types of people in every profession.

        Some are stuck up their... I don't know what, but they do think they are better than you. That is the truth and I will not lie to you pretending everyone is an angel.

        Others are normal and they don't allow their professions to define who they are. They can be humble and smart unlike the former who no one likes anyway.

        I am behind for my age and I have a lot of potential, I was not given the opportunity to take it further. It's not too late to develop your skills or whatever it is you are passionate in.

        Don't put yourself down. Just because you're not a doctor doesn't mean you are not worthy of respect.

        People will sense your lack of self esteem and this could further worsen how you feel because some people will take advantage of this weakness of yours.

        We all have to learn to be confident and content with what we have because when someone sees that confidence in you, they'll treat you differently.

        If you are entering marriage with your current mindset then yes you will be eaten alive if the sister in law is arrogant.

        You're not an ant lol so try your best to think good of people, regardless of their profession. Don't be intimidated.
        ​​​​

        ​​​​​​







        'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

        So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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        • #5
          Also, just to reiterate, you don't have to be a doctor to be confident

          Anyone can be confident if they tried.

          Personally, I have come a long way. When I was a teenager, I was so self conscious and shy, quiet, and afraid of making eye contact. Now, thanks to Allah, I'm much better, there's always room for improvement.

          Just remember, no one has authority over you except Allah.

          He is your master, so do not fear his creation. Have confidence in Sha Allah.

          Start working on it from today and make dua Allah makes you courageous and brave.

          Don't waste your energy on others when you can be bettering yourself.
          'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

          So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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          • #6
            You'll come across many different types of people. Arrogant whether they have a good job or not, humble whether they have more money or less.

            I understand the pains of being shy. Just do what you can. Personality and manners are what matters most.
            https://www.instagram.com/muslimahdelights/

            http://muslimahdelights.blogspot.co.uk/

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            • #7
              Originally posted by auser View Post
              i have this complex that say my sis in law was a dr i dont know how i would deal with it esp because drs are very confident if not arrogant ?

              i dont really get along with people because of my shy nature so i just have this fear of not being liked and given my ordinary basic personality how will i get along with people who are drs and engineers etc when it comes to education iam very behind for my age and its not something very technical either

              i know i wont be marrying a dr however there is always the sis in law...
              You can develop confidence. If you don't develop it as you get older, there are many confidence courses available. For the complex issue, you should consider a councillor to help you get over it.

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              • #8
                Do you actually have a sister in law whom you've met in person who is a doctor and who behaved arrogantly towards you? If the answer is yes, then I can understand your concern in wondering how to deal with that. If your answer is no, then your problem is not shyness, your problem is that you jumped to conclusions about someone you know nothing about which says far more about your own insecurities than it does about the other person's conduct or profession. I suppose the one positive is that you recognise that this is a problem and it sounds like you overthink things way too much.

                If you're meeting a potential husband, then at some point, he should be told that you have a shy nature and would really want to keep to yourself a lot. Some guys are like that themselves and prefer a quiet life so it wouldn't matter, whereas other guys would think you're anti social or something is wrong with you and feel the need to "fix" you by trying to take you out more and force you out of your comfort zone. It's better to find out before marriage what type of guy he is to prevent future problems.

                I'm sure there's a book written about introverts. It was either mentioned on Sunday Brunch or on the radio and it got good reviews as many introverts read it and said they found it liberating to recognise themselves in the descriptions in the book and also were amazed to find the discussion of such personality traits were framed in such positive terms (ie that being an introvert is a good thing in many ways) whereas society always tries to portray it as something bad. I couldn't remember the title of the book, but I'm guessing it might have been this one, so if it resonates with you, it might be worth reading and gaining some insights from inshaAllah https://www.theguardian.com/books/20...an-cain-review
                The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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                • #9
                  Thankyou everyone.

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