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do men marry infertile women?

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  • do men marry infertile women?

    So i was married very young 16/17 divorced a year later to an older guy. One child from that marriage. I always thought i would find another husband but now I am 31 and my time for children is ticking out. I actually was in love with a guy for 5 years and he turned out to marry a cousin in the end so that was a waste of time. I actually haven't left my house for 2 years because i was having problems with extreme fatigue and balance issues. I didn't know what was wrong with me but I could atleast go shopping and go home. Now i can't even do that I am just stuck at home. Alhamdulilah i can still cook for myself and keep my house clean but leaving the house is to much for me. i buy everything online 2 months ago i finally got a diagnosis after 2 years of testing the dr's say i have Multiple sclerosis a auto immune disease. Straight away I started to look for treatments and find ways to aggressively attack this disease i was really desperate to stop it from doing any more damage and regain my ability to function again and do my own food shopping going to the gym or jogging instead of being stuck in the house all the time. Anyways i found the best treatment they have is HSCT its a treatment that involves chemo therapy to kill of your immune system and stem cell therapy to rebuild it. Killing of the multiple sclerosis. One catch though The chemo therapy will leave me infertile. i can't believe i will be one of those infertile women. sorry for the rant but do men marry infertile women?
    Last edited by SamsungGirl; 29-07-18, 03:00 PM.

  • #2
    I actually haven't gone ahead with the treatment but I am seriously contemplating it. Although it will seriously damage my chances of getting married who wouldnt want to be able to function normally instead of being stuck at home.

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    • #3
      "Those infertile women"...?

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      • #4
        Out of all of thatl THATS what you picked up on. Yes one of those infertile women. I can't believe that is happening. to me. Same way I can't believe I am one of those people that have multiple sclerosis. Same way I am one of those people that is divorced because you don't grow up thinking you going to end up like that lol. Sorry but i don't mean any offense by it. I don't understand you?

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        • #5
          Originally posted by SamsungGirl View Post
          Out of all of thatl THATS what you picked up on. Yes one of those infertile women. I can't believe that is happening. to me. Same way I can't believe I am one of those people that have multiple sclerosis. Same way I am one of those people that is divorced because you don't grow up thinking you going to end up like that lol. Sorry but i don't mean any offense by it. I don't understand you?
          It seems as if you are looking down on infertile women.

          Back to your original post - if you have looked at all the treatments available for your condition, and this is the only option available - then you should pray Istikhara and make a decision.

          As for what men want - then each man is different.

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          • #6
            Nobody wants to be infertile at 31. so I dont want to be infertile. I am not looking down on anyone i just don't want to be infertile. I am divorced and hoped to get married and start a family and i still want that. as for ms There are a whole range of treatments available like lemtrada, copaxone etc etc however they aren't as effective as HSCT. All the other treatments work on stopping the disease from disabling you further they don't cure you they just work on stopping you from ending up in a wheelchair or in a bed. and even at that they don't work that well some have no effect whatsoever. Also they come with their own risk lemtrada is the strongest treatments they have however it comes with risk like kidney damage some other treatments come with risk of breast cancer so they all have risk which i don't want to take. The safest think is HSCT and it is proven to completedly stop multiple sclerosis in their tracks however chemo will leave you infertile. So when you go to websites like mstrust you can see the informations on treatments available on the nhs they all have messed up side effects like tyroid issues for example with lemtrada you can end up with graves disease you know the disorder with your eyes popping out your skull horrifying. HSCT you do private cost about 80k one time treatment.

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            • #7
              Also in my country we have a culture of marrying young however once you hit my age 31 you're a bit old so add infertility and ms to the list chances look bleek so i wanted the opinion of men outside my own culture

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              • #8
                As a woman with MS, infertility, a daughter and hit a certain age, i do believe you should be aiming toward polygamy
                يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

                O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

                Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by SamsungGirl View Post
                  Also in my country we have a culture of marrying young however once you hit my age 31 you're a bit old so add infertility and ms to the list chances look bleek so i wanted the opinion of men outside my own culture
                  I see. Is there any way you could delay treatment for a few years...? (Until you get married and have a couple of kids..?)

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                  • #10
                    omg thats exactly why i dont want to be infertile that is the best excuse for polygamy. Hmm i definitely don't want to be one of those women. I hate polygamy. I seriously don't want to share a husband i'd rather have a boyfriend and give up on marriage. Yeah as I suspected I guess normal marriage is not for me in this life. Qadir of Allah I am just going to focus on my health. Thanks sisters take care.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Indefinable View Post

                      I see. Is there any way you could delay treatment for a few years...? (Until you get married and have a couple of kids..?)
                      Thats what I plan to talk to my dr's about if they can delay treatment. I will discuss this with them. if not then i guess marriage is not for me.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by SamsungGirl View Post
                        omg thats exactly why i dont want to be infertile that is the best excuse for polygamy. Hmm i definitely don't want to be one of those women. I hate polygamy. I seriously don't want to share a husband i'd rather have a boyfriend and give up on marriage. Yeah as I suspected I guess normal marriage is not for me in this life. Qadir of Allah I am just going to focus on my health. Thanks sisters take care.
                        Allaah has blessed you with a daughter. You are not infertile.

                        Don't give up so hastily and turn to the path of Zina, just because you hate polygamy. If you don't want to share your husband, that's fine. Majority of us don't. But please don't take the path of haraam and turn your back on Islaam. That is the worst possible thing you can do for yourself. And think what kind of example you're setting for your daughter.

                        Be patient. Do istikhara. Then go from there. In Sha Allaah.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by aynina View Post
                          As a woman with MS, infertility, a daughter and hit a certain age, i do believe you should be aiming toward polygamy
                          (You didn't just drop the "P" bomb -_-)

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by SamsungGirl View Post
                            omg thats exactly why i dont want to be infertile that is the best excuse for polygamy. Hmm i definitely don't want to be one of those women. I hate polygamy. I seriously don't want to share a husband i'd rather have a boyfriend and give up on marriage. Yeah as I suspected I guess normal marriage is not for me in this life. Qadir of Allah I am just going to focus on my health. Thanks sisters take care.
                            ok.

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