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When the Groom sits in front of loads of women...

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  • When the Groom sits in front of loads of women...

    I went to a asian wedding recently and they are a fairly modest family with islamic values from my neighborhood,

    however...there is a trend i have noticed among Asian weddings....

    The men and women were kind of segregated with the hall being divided down the middle by a artificial partition -

    However the Groom was seated on one of those sofas/thrones in the ladies half of the section.

    The groom had to sit there for several hours - basically just posing for photographs and trying to keep smiling - in a hall of some 100+ women (a few may be his aunts but the rest not) and they were are all dressed in full wedding attire, many uncovered or loosely covered heads and some had hijabs on.

    My question is, how can a man possibly lower his gaze in such a situation ? He is also expected to greet the women and smile for the camera, and he is only marrying 1 woman, but the other 99 (not including his mother/aunts obviously) is it not wajib for him to have paradah from at all times ?

    Or does the rule of lowering the gaze not apply to him now ?

    Also,annoyingly i was not able to talk to him for more than 5 minutes or congratulate him properly because he spent 95% of his time in the ladies section sat on the chair with the bride.

    The Men did not get to see the bride (good) but the women all get to stare at the Groom from nearly 3 hours - is this a concession in Shariah ?

    For the wedding to be truly Islamic - should the groom not ALWAYS be in the Male half of the section ?

    If a Man is marrying a woman, does he not have to lower his gaze from her sisters and friends at ALL times ?
    Last edited by coffeecat; 09-07-18, 01:19 AM.

  • #2
    It's pure culture, plain and simple. The rules of segregation still apply to both genders, as well as lowering of the gaze.

    Pretty odd though, that the groom sat on the ladies side. In my experience both bride and groom sit on a sofa in front of everyone.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
      It's pure culture, plain and simple. The rules of segregation still apply to both genders, as well as lowering of the gaze.

      Pretty odd though, that the groom sat on the ladies side. In my experience both bride and groom sit on a sofa in front of everyone.
      Jazakallah khair, thats what i thought.

      Yes when i was a kid the weddings used to be like that with the groom/bride sat in the middle in a unsegregated hall.

      Now, to be fair, more Islamic values are slowly filtering and diluting the jahil cultural practices of Asian weddings but the recent trend in at least 2 marriages i have seen is that the Groom is sat on the ladies side and only his brothers, or cousins are allowed to go and join him at the top for photos.

      This is a kind of "compromise" between having a properly segregated wedding and having a full blown unislamic wedding with everyone sat on mixed tables in a mixed hall.

      There is another thing.... some Asians seem to think that lowering the gaze is not waajib among cousins ?

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by coffeecat View Post
        I went to a asian wedding recently and they are a fairly modest family with islamic values from my neighborhood,

        however...there is a trend i have noticed among Asian weddings....

        The men and women were kind of segregated with the hall being divided down the middle by a artificial partition -

        However the Groom was seated on one of those sofas/thrones in the ladies half of the section.

        The groom had to sit there for several hours - basically just posing for photographs and trying to keep smiling - in a hall of some 100+ women (a few may be his aunts but the rest not) and they were are all dressed in full wedding attire, many uncovered or loosely covered heads and some had hijabs on.

        My question is, how can a man possibly lower his gaze in such a situation ? He is also expected to greet the women and smile for the camera, and he is only marrying 1 woman, but the other 99 (not including his mother/aunts obviously) is it not wajib for him to have paradah from at all times ?

        Or does the rule of lowering the gaze not apply to him now ?


        Also,annoyingly i was not able to talk to him for more than 5 minutes or congratulate him properly because he spent 95% of his time in the ladies section sat on the chair with the bride.

        The Men did not get to see the bride (good) but the women all get to stare at the Groom from nearly 3 hours - is this a concession in Shariah ?

        For the wedding to be truly Islamic - should the groom not ALWAYS be in the Male half of the section ?

        If a Man is marrying a woman, does he not have to lower his gaze from her sisters and friends at ALL times ?
        Of course he isnt gonna be able to lower his gaze surrounded by women, and no this is not permissible, and the rule certainly applies to him,

        This practice you described is a common Satanic practice found in many cultures,

        What makes it worse is there are people amongst the wedding invites who know its Haraam, but wont say a word against it, because they dont want to hurt ths feelings of people, same when some Haraam Music is played, even elders just keep quiet about it.

        نعوذ بالله من ذلك
        http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

        "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

        – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Saif-Uddin View Post

          Of course he isnt gonna be able to lower his gaze surrounded by women, and no this is not permissible, and the rule certainly applies to him,

          This practice you described is a common Satanic practice found in many cultures,

          What makes it worse is there are people amongst the wedding invites who know its Haraam, but wont say a word against it, because they dont want to hurt ths feelings of people, same when some Haraam Music is played, even elders just keep quiet about it.

          نعوذ بالله من ذلك
          Jazakallah khair,

          and yes i agree.

          It felt strange because it was half-islamic wedding. They had musical nasheeds instead of full bollywood music.

          They had a quran recitation somewhere near Salah time instead of adhaan as if it kaffarah (expiation) so nobody has to trouble
          themselves with wudu

          but the problem with these half-islamic weddings is that they are still 50% unislamic

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by coffeecat View Post

            Jazakallah khair,

            and yes i agree.

            It felt strange because it was half-islamic wedding. They had musical nasheeds instead of full bollywood music.

            They had a quran recitation somewhere near Salah time instead of adhaan as if it kaffarah (expiation) so nobody has to trouble
            themselves with wudu

            but the problem with these half-islamic weddings is that they are still 50% unislamic
            Another common Haraam, Musical Nasheeds,

            Nauzubillah
            http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

            "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

            – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

            Comment


            • #7
              Lol never heard of man im the womens section

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
                Lol never heard of man im the womens section
                lol its a new trend, first time i didnt notice it.

                This time...i was like hang on where is the groom?

                Oh he is sat with his bride in the womens section lol

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by coffeecat View Post

                  lol its a new trend, first time i didnt notice it.

                  This time...i was like hang on where is the groom?

                  Oh he is sat with his bride in the womens section lol
                  stupid culture

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    This happens among Arabs in the U.S. as well. The weddings are mixed, women are not wearing hijab, loud music or live band. Men and women take turns dancing. The bride and groom sit on a stage for all to see. It’s been completely westernized.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      What a joke, woman should have gheerah over their husbands as well
                      يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

                      O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

                      Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        So much haraam happens during weddings these days. In the guise of fulfilling one Sunnah, hundreds of other Sunnahs and Faraaidh are abandoned.

                        Shaitan is given an invitation on the red carpet that day and then people wonder why they don't have any barakah, sukoon or happiness in their marital lives. How will they - when they forgot Allah and invited Shaitan.

                        The cursed one sees the strength of our faith in the little 'compromises' we make in order to 'fit in,' as benign as they may seem.

                        May we be from amongst those that are safe from the plots of the shayateen.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
                          Lol never heard of man im the womens section
                          Akhi it happens all the time,

                          These men have no shame, and no issues with freemixing
                          Last edited by Saif-Uddin; 22-07-18, 11:30 AM.
                          http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                          "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

                          – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            He should just refuse to sit there, of course that might start a war with the mothers but they'll survive :). Similarly how a sister should refuse to sit in front of a bunch of men.
                            الحق لا يعرف بالرجال، اعرف الحق تعرف رجاله

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by whisperofimaan View Post
                              He should just refuse to sit there, of course that might start a war with the mothers but they'll survive :). Similarly how a sister should refuse to sit in front of a bunch of men.
                              They dont have problems with men and women not lowering the gaze,

                              Just yesterday this uncle was explaining how wrong free mixing is and that we should have segregated men and women section, and the person was making excuses for men and women going into each others section and free mixing,

                              Nauzubillah
                              http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                              "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

                              – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

                              Comment

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