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  • Broken engagement

    Assalamualikum,

    I had a broken engagement last year which I am totally over Alhamdullilah but the thing that bothers me is that my ex and his family have been and are still trying to tarnish my reputation. It's probably because it was me who left him (he was just not the right person for me, someone who had always mentally abused me) and not vice versa but it's been a year now and it looks like they are still not over it because I still hear from people how badly they talk behind my back.

    This is really affecting my confidence and I wonder what people think of me. I have been praying a lot, especially in the month of Ramadan, been reading the Quran every night and made lots of duas. All I want is to be happy and that those people give up trying to ruin my image. I am ready to move on now so I'm praying to Allah to find me a good and pious husband InshAllah and maybe that will help shut them up, but sometimes I'm worried that my chances are very low, considering the amount of gossips that are going on behind my back.

    As the topic is about my broken engagement, I didn't know where else to post this. Apologies in advance if i am wrong.

    Do you know of anyone who went through a similar situation and how they dealt with it?

    Are there any specific duas to protect myself from such people trying to defame me?

    Anything else to make it easier for me to ignore all this and to make me feel better?

    Please advise.

  • #2
    walaykum salam

    tbh peeps will talk whether you do good or bad in life

    dont let it get to you dont let it effect your confidence

    Allah knows the truth and so do you, so dont worry about what peeps say or think

    be strong, be strong headed and no one will be able to bring you down

    none of these people look after you or pay your bills so screw them for all you care

    just look to the future and look for a pious spouse that will look after you and for fill your rights

    i dont know any specific dua but the daily adhkar is best protection from all things,
    if you havent already get the book fortress of a muslim and recite the morning and evening duas in there

    hope that helps

    Comment


    • #3
      These people will have to answer for their slander or/and backbiting. It will come back to haunt them. Who wants to give their daughter to a man who is talking badly about his former fiance?



      Anyway, it is necessary upon muslims to verify news and information that is presented to them, so this should at least make the decision of who you should keep company with easier, like whoever of them does have the decency to approach you and ask if its true or not at least you can tell them its false an they inshaAllah will tell others its false, but the people that dont, then forget them, be happy knowing that you'll have the pleasure of sorting the issue with them on Yaum-ul Qiyaamah, the day where we'll claim justice inshaAllah.

      lol and this should make u getting married wayyyy easier!! If there is someone who is thining of marrying you, then hears the slander and decides not to marry you, then alhamdulilah be glad that you were saved from a bad partner, how could you have a husband/wife that follows peoples lies like a sheep? whereas if there is someone thats thinking of marrying you and hears the lies and doesnt believe them and asks you if they are true or not, then inshaAllah you'll have a long happy marriage together cos ull no they are a good person!

      DUAS:

      •••►allahum-ma anta 'adhudi wa anta nassiree,bika ajulu wa bika assulu wa bika 'uqatel

      اللّهُمَّ أَنْتَ عَضُدي، وَأَنْتَ نَصيري، بِكَ أَجولُ وَبِكَ أَصُولُ، وَبِكَ أُقاتِل

      Oh Allah, You are my strength and You are my victory. For Your sake I go forth and for Your sake I stand firm and for Your sake I fight. [Dawud 3/42, At-Tirmidhi 5/572]




      •••►hassbunallah wa ni'mal wakeel

      128- ”حَسْبُنا اللهُ وَنِعْمَ الوَكيلُ“([3]).

      'Allah is sufficient for us, and how fine a trustee (He is).'



      ►DUAA AGAINST AN ENEMY

      •••►allahum-ma munzel al kitaab,sari'ul hissaab ihzem al ahzaab,allahum-ma ihzemhum wa zalzelhum

      اللَّهُمَّ مُنْزِلَ الكتابِ، سَريعَ الحسابِ، اهْزِمِ الأحزابَ، اللَّهُمَّ اهزِمْهُم وزَلْزِلْهُم

      O Allah, Revealer of the Book, Swift at reckoning, defeat the confederates. O Allah, defeat them and convulse them.’


      The man that is written in your fate will be with you so do not worry. Also to the people that listen to the gossip and then see it fit to pass it on to you; maybe they should tell your ex and his family to stop gossiping.
      Last edited by shay5; 19-06-18, 11:18 PM.
      Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

      Comment


      • #4
        ^I second that. Shay5 mostly said what I was going to say. First of all, be thankful to Allah (swt) that you didn't marry into that family. If this is how they treat you just for politely declining, then imagine how much they'd torture you if you lived with them 24/7. Their gossip and slander is a reflection of their bad intentions, not yours. Also when a person gossips about you, then you gain the rewards of all their good deeds.
        The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Sara24 View Post
          Assalamualikum,

          I had a broken engagement last year which I am totally over Alhamdullilah but the thing that bothers me is that my ex and his family have been and are still trying to tarnish my reputation. It's probably because it was me who left him (he was just not the right person for me, someone who had always mentally abused me) and not vice versa but it's been a year now and it looks like they are still not over it because I still hear from people how badly they talk behind my back.

          This is really affecting my confidence and I wonder what people think of me. I have been praying a lot, especially in the month of Ramadan, been reading the Quran every night and made lots of duas. All I want is to be happy and that those people give up trying to ruin my image. I am ready to move on now so I'm praying to Allah to find me a good and pious husband InshAllah and maybe that will help shut them up, but sometimes I'm worried that my chances are very low, considering the amount of gossips that are going on behind my back.

          As the topic is about my broken engagement, I didn't know where else to post this. Apologies in advance if i am wrong.

          Do you know of anyone who went through a similar situation and how they dealt with it?

          Are there any specific duas to protect myself from such people trying to defame me?

          Anything else to make it easier for me to ignore all this and to make me feel better?

          Please advise.
          This worrying about what he and his family might be doing to tarnish your image, is going to give you depression, ukthi,

          If they are backbiting or slandering you, then Allah عز و جل will deal with them,

          You don't need to worry about your image or what they are doing, just keep following the Qur'an and Sunnah to the best of your ability, nevermind what sore loosers are doing behind your back. You've got much better and more important things to do than to waste time on them.

          جزاك الله خيرا

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Sara24 View Post
            Assalamualikum,

            I had a broken engagement last year which I am totally over Alhamdullilah but the thing that bothers me is that my ex and his family have been and are still trying to tarnish my reputation. It's probably because it was me who left him (he was just not the right person for me, someone who had always mentally abused me) and not vice versa but it's been a year now and it looks like they are still not over it because I still hear from people how badly they talk behind my back.

            This is really affecting my confidence and I wonder what people think of me. I have been praying a lot, especially in the month of Ramadan, been reading the Quran every night and made lots of duas. All I want is to be happy and that those people give up trying to ruin my image. I am ready to move on now so I'm praying to Allah to find me a good and pious husband InshAllah and maybe that will help shut them up, but sometimes I'm worried that my chances are very low, considering the amount of gossips that are going on behind my back.

            As the topic is about my broken engagement, I didn't know where else to post this. Apologies in advance if i am wrong.

            Do you know of anyone who went through a similar situation and how they dealt with it?

            Are there any specific duas to protect myself from such people trying to defame me?

            Anything else to make it easier for me to ignore all this and to make me feel better?

            Please advise.
            If I were you ,I would send them a bouquet of flowers with the message "thanks for your good deeds"

            Youtube channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYk...dE4pHzSid7Lr0w

            **** Smiling won't cost you now is it ****

            Zawjati ,“Uhibbuki mithla mâ antê” “Uhibbuki kaifamâ kunteee”“Wa mahmâ kâna mahma sâra”

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by shay5 View Post
              These people will have to answer for their slander or/and backbiting. It will come back to haunt them. Who wants to give their daughter to a man who is talking badly about his former fiance?



              Anyway, it is necessary upon muslims to verify news and information that is presented to them, so this should at least make the decision of who you should keep company with easier, like whoever of them does have the decency to approach you and ask if its true or not at least you can tell them its false an they inshaAllah will tell others its false, but the people that dont, then forget them, be happy knowing that you'll have the pleasure of sorting the issue with them on Yaum-ul Qiyaamah, the day where we'll claim justice inshaAllah.

              lol and this should make u getting married wayyyy easier!! If there is someone who is thining of marrying you, then hears the slander and decides not to marry you, then alhamdulilah be glad that you were saved from a bad partner, how could you have a husband/wife that follows peoples lies like a sheep? whereas if there is someone thats thinking of marrying you and hears the lies and doesnt believe them and asks you if they are true or not, then inshaAllah you'll have a long happy marriage together cos ull no they are a good person!

              DUAS:

              •••►allahum-ma anta 'adhudi wa anta nassiree,bika ajulu wa bika assulu wa bika 'uqatel

              اللّهُمَّ أَنْتَ عَضُدي، وَأَنْتَ نَصيري، بِكَ أَجولُ وَبِكَ أَصُولُ، وَبِكَ أُقاتِل

              Oh Allah, You are my strength and You are my victory. For Your sake I go forth and for Your sake I stand firm and for Your sake I fight. [Dawud 3/42, At-Tirmidhi 5/572]




              •••►hassbunallah wa ni'mal wakeel

              128- ”حَسْبُنا اللهُ وَنِعْمَ الوَكيلُ“([3]).

              'Allah is sufficient for us, and how fine a trustee (He is).'



              ►DUAA AGAINST AN ENEMY

              •••►allahum-ma munzel al kitaab,sari'ul hissaab ihzem al ahzaab,allahum-ma ihzemhum wa zalzelhum

              اللَّهُمَّ مُنْزِلَ الكتابِ، سَريعَ الحسابِ، اهْزِمِ الأحزابَ، اللَّهُمَّ اهزِمْهُم وزَلْزِلْهُم

              O Allah, Revealer of the Book, Swift at reckoning, defeat the confederates. O Allah, defeat them and convulse them.’


              The man that is written in your fate will be with you so do not worry. Also to the people that listen to the gossip and then see it fit to pass it on to you; maybe they should tell your ex and his family to stop gossiping.
              These are duas and quran ayats for jihad and fighting except from hasbunnallah thats more general but that was said still during fighting by the prophet saw and in the fire by ibrahim alayhi salaam
              Last edited by Abu julaybeeb; 20-06-18, 08:09 AM.

              Comment


              • #8
                If you type dua for stress and anxiety islamqa mamy duas will come up

                Comment


                • #9
                  its amazing how some muslim have nothing better to do than to talk ill behind peoples backs, almost as if their life revolves around it

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Sara24 View Post
                    Assalamualikum,

                    I had a broken engagement last year which I am totally over Alhamdullilah but the thing that bothers me is that my ex and his family have been and are still trying to tarnish my reputation. It's probably because it was me who left him (he was just not the right person for me, someone who had always mentally abused me) and not vice versa but it's been a year now and it looks like they are still not over it because I still hear from people how badly they talk behind my back.

                    This is really affecting my confidence and I wonder what people think of me. I have been praying a lot, especially in the month of Ramadan, been reading the Quran every night and made lots of duas. All I want is to be happy and that those people give up trying to ruin my image. I am ready to move on now so I'm praying to Allah to find me a good and pious husband InshAllah and maybe that will help shut them up, but sometimes I'm worried that my chances are very low, considering the amount of gossips that are going on behind my back.

                    As the topic is about my broken engagement, I didn't know where else to post this. Apologies in advance if i am wrong.

                    Do you know of anyone who went through a similar situation and how they dealt with it?

                    Are there any specific duas to protect myself from such people trying to defame me?

                    Anything else to make it easier for me to ignore all this and to make me feel better?

                    Please advise.
                    Wa alaykumus Salaam wa Rahmatullah,

                    Sister. Their speech does not control your life. Your life is in Allah's hands. Let them talk how bad they want about you. Pray to Allah to be granted goodness for all the slandering that they do and pray for the ability to do good for all the backbiting that they do. And if they continue to do so, than hope that perhaps Allah will raise your small amount of patience of ignoring their ill speech to be equal to a mountain of good deeds. Let them say what they want, their speech is being recorded by angels. Pray for them and forgive them. Allah is all forgiving and ask Allah to forgive you for other sins you may have done in past.

                    Rejoice and start looking for a spouse

                    Comment

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