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Revert sister wanting to get married

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  • Revert sister wanting to get married

    Iím a revert sister whoís getting married ASAP but I donít have a wali as none of my family are Muslim so I was wondering who can be my wali? can it be my soon to be husbands father or does it have to be someone whoís completely not related to him? Please help as I canít find any answers anywhere

  • #2
    Does he pray 5 times a day
    does he read quran regularly
    Does he study or want to study islam
    does he do any volunteering or ways to help the ummah or wants to
    does he have a muslim beard or trying to grow one
    doesnt free mix
    doesnt drink do drugs smoke etc
    His Friends are practising muslims
    does he have a halal job or is it haram eg involves interest,alcahol,drugs,policing

    if he doesnt fit in this criteria dont marry him

    Comment


    • #3
      You should go to a masjid and ask an imam there if he knows any1 that can be a wali

      your future husbands father being wali seems pointless as most likely he will just be trying to get you married to his son without looking out for you

      in regards to the ruling i am not sure

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
        Does he pray 5 times a day
        does he read quran regularly
        Does he study or want to study islam
        does he do any volunteering or ways to help the ummah or wants to
        does he have a muslim beard or trying to grow one
        doesnt free mix
        doesnt drink do drugs smoke etc
        His Friends are practising muslims
        does he have a halal job or is it haram eg involves interest,alcahol,drugs,policing

        if he doesnt fit in this criteria dont marry him
        Umm that's a really strict criteria that I'm pretty sure majority of muslim males in the UK Do not follow, at least not every single one of those.

        As long as he;
        makes an attempt to pray 5 times a day
        makes an attempt to the read quran regularly, doesn't let it sit on a shelf gathering dust
        doesnt free mix
        doesnt drink do drugs smoke etc
        does he have a halal job or is it haram eg involves interest,alcahol,drugs,policing (I'm an investment banker, does this mean I'm not deserving of a muslim wife because it revolves around interest? Am I going to hell for this?)

        You should be fine, The above criteria was far too strict for a muslim male in the west for you to find one that follows it all to a T.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by TingKam View Post

          Umm that's a really strict criteria that I'm pretty sure majority of muslim males in the UK Do not follow, at least not every single one of those.

          As long as he;
          makes an attempt to pray 5 times a day
          makes an attempt to the read quran regularly, doesn't let it sit on a shelf gathering dust
          doesnt free mix
          doesnt drink do drugs smoke etc
          does he have a halal job or is it haram eg involves interest,alcahol,drugs,policing (I'm an investment banker, does this mean I'm not deserving of a muslim wife because it revolves around interest? Am I going to hell for this?)

          You should be fine, The above criteria was far too strict for a muslim male in the west for you to find one that follows it all to a T.
          If he doest pray 5 times a day hes a wasteman
          hes committing sins thats worse than murder and zina hes not worshipping Allah thats the whole point we are alive to worship Allah

          yh your jobs haram your money is haram as its riba money your money has no baraka
          change your job repent to Allah and insha Allah youl be forgiven

          if u dont then know that you someone who takes part in riba transactions is going to war with Allah

          Comment


          • #6
            If he doesnt pray he doesnt fear Allah and he doesnt fear Allah how is he gonna treat his spouse good he wont be scared of his actions as he wont care about the consequences in the hereafter

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

              If he doest pray 5 times a day hes a wasteman
              hes committing sins thats worse than murder and zina hes not worshipping Allah thats the whole point we are alive to worship Allah

              yh your jobs haram your money is haram as its riba money your money has no baraka
              change your job repent to Allah and insha Allah youl be forgiven

              if u dont then know that you someone who takes part in riba transactions is going to war with Allah
              You're right, he is a wasteman, but some are lucky to even get to the mosque to do Jummah on fridays, what you don't understand is that it's not completely in our control.

              What if the guy can't grow a beard because of genetics? I know guys with bad beard genetics and they can't grow one no matter how badly they want it that they shave because of the age old myth that "shaving makes a beard grow better" Then what?

              Ok Please tell me as a graduated Actuary what field I'm supposed to go into instead to provide for my mother and father.

              I will wait.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by TingKam View Post

                You're right, he is a wasteman, but some are lucky to even get to the mosque to do Jummah on fridays, what you don't understand is that it's not completely in our control.

                What if the guy can't grow a beard because of genetics? I know guys with bad beard genetics and they can't grow one no matter how badly they want it that they shave because of the age old myth that "shaving makes a beard grow better" Then what?

                Ok Please tell me as a graduated Actuary what field I'm supposed to go into instead to provide for my mother and father.

                I will wait.
                Obviously there are exceptions
                if a masjid is far or he cant grow a beard etc
                think realistically

                and doesnt matter find another field you can do anything that doesnt involve riba
                teaching, consultancy, management theres many options
                ​​​​​

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

                  If he doest pray 5 times a day hes a wasteman
                  hes committing sins thats worse than murder and zina hes not worshipping Allah thats the whole point we are alive to worship Allah

                  yh your jobs haram your money is haram as its riba money your money has no baraka
                  change your job repent to Allah and insha Allah youl be forgiven

                  if u dont then know that you someone who takes part in riba transactions is going to war with Allah
                  Well said

                  Jazak Allah hu khair

                  'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                  So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by TingKam View Post

                    Umm that's a really strict criteria that I'm pretty sure majority of muslim males in the UK Do not follow, at least not every single one of those.

                    As long as he;
                    makes an attempt to pray 5 times a day
                    makes an attempt to the read quran regularly, doesn't let it sit on a shelf gathering dust
                    doesnt free mix
                    doesnt drink do drugs smoke etc
                    does he have a halal job or is it haram eg involves interest,alcahol,drugs,policing (I'm an investment banker, does this mean I'm not deserving of a muslim wife because it revolves around interest? Am I going to hell for this?)

                    You should be fine, The above criteria was far too strict for a muslim male in the west for you to find one that follows it all to a T.
                    He described a basic criteria and if that's too strict then it is better for sisters not to marry an amateur who has no foundation to begin his marriage
                    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      It does look like quite a big list, but really...

                      Does:
                      Prays as he should
                      Reads Qur'an regularly
                      Earn Halal income
                      Has or is trying to grow a sunnah beard


                      Doesn't:
                      Free-mix
                      Drink/smoke/do drugs
                      Keep bad company


                      At least wants to:
                      Study Islam
                      Volunteer & Help the Ummah



                      Those are quite basic requirement in a practicing muslim. Still, i think you may sadly be right, br Tingkam, we are in general so far away that it seems to be asking for quite a lot.
                      LAA ILAAHA ILLALLAH
                      -------------------------------
                      "And if you would count the graces of God, never could you be able to count them. Truly, God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Qur'aan 16:18)
                      NOTE: Please kindly do NOT rep my posts. (Jazaa'akumullah).

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post

                        He described a basic criteria and if that's too strict then it is better for sisters not to marry an amateur who has no foundation to begin his marriage
                        Basic criteria that even you were so quick to remind me western men can't follow (in the other thread regarding sins etc.)

                        Anyway I'm not doing this here, she asked a question and we're just derailing it.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Beckyb View Post
                          Iím a revert sister whoís getting married ASAP but I donít have a wali as none of my family are Muslim so I was wondering who can be my wali? can it be my soon to be husbands father or does it have to be someone whoís completely not related to him? Please help as I canít find any answers anywhere
                          Should be a trustworthy imam or a reputable man in the community.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Beckyb View Post
                            Iím a revert sister whoís getting married ASAP but I donít have a wali as none of my family are Muslim so I was wondering who can be my wali? can it be my soon to be husbands father or does it have to be someone whoís completely not related to him? Please help as I canít find any answers anywhere
                            You need to make sure it's not something you are rushing into.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Beckyb View Post
                              Iím a revert sister whoís getting married ASAP but I donít have a wali as none of my family are Muslim so I was wondering who can be my wali? can it be my soon to be husbands father or does it have to be someone whoís completely not related to him? Please help as I canít find any answers anywhere
                              The Imam who is doing your Nikah can be a Wali on your behalf that should work

                              Comment

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