Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Everyone says don't get a western wife.

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Everyone says don't get a western wife.

    Salam all,

    I've been looking to get married but everyone I mean everyone I speak to about this topic (specially the brothers), they almost warn me not to get a western wife and advice me to get someone from back home because apparently a girl that was bought up in the western world doesn't respect there husbands and they don't understand there roles in marriage. I always end up arguing that there are bad apples everywhere etc.

    The conversation always concludes on them saying "don't make the same mistake I made", ethically it feels wrong to me..

    Dont mean to start a gender war just need some insight.

  • #2
    You're going on as if you have a choice of women to marry. Do you?

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by mynameis123 View Post
      Salam all,

      I've been looking to get married but everyone I mean everyone I speak to about this topic (specially the brothers), they almost warn me not to get a western wife and advice me to get someone from back home because apparently a girl that was bought up in the western world doesn't respect there husbands and they don't understand there roles in marriage. I always end up arguing that there are bad apples everywhere etc.

      The conversation always concludes on them saying "don't make the same mistake I made", ethically it feels wrong to me..

      Dont mean to start a gender war just need some insight.
      Just find someone religious and well grounded.

      Comment


      • #4
        They have a point, but there are still good girls here.

        Comment


        • #5
          Well it's a fact that they are more likely to be influenced by evil ideologies like feminism.
          You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

          You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

          Comment


          • #6
            Feminism has reached everywhere.

            They're fighting for it as we speak.

            Pakistan, Bangladesh, Saudi Arabia, you name it, they want it

            Good luck man good luck

            Lmso

            'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

            So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

            Comment


            • #7
              Keep looking for a girl that meets your criteria
              if you are cultural and want someone similar, you'll have to ask as many questions as possible.

              If you THINK you are pious then look for someone pious

              Don't mix culture up with religion, you have to differentiate both

              We find brothers that are cultural who complain their wife did not wash their hands for them and then blame feminism

              These brothers are lost themselves. They are mixing culture with their ego.

              But pious brothers, btw who are they, where are they, do they even....I don't know


              If you get tested after that then remember believers will get tested.


              Above all, ask her what she thinks, what her expectations are, what her priorities are etc....


              ​​​​​​


              'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

              So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by mynameis123 View Post
                Salam all,

                I've been looking to get married but everyone I mean everyone I speak to about this topic (specially the brothers), they almost warn me not to get a western wife and advice me to get someone from back home because apparently a girl that was bought up in the western world doesn't respect there husbands and they don't understand there roles in marriage. I always end up arguing that there are bad apples everywhere etc.

                The conversation always concludes on them saying "don't make the same mistake I made", ethically it feels wrong to me..

                Dont mean to start a gender war just need some insight.
                There are those that don't and there are those that do, in the west as well as back home.

                So the generalisation isn't actually fair
                http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

                – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Linkdeutscher View Post
                  Well it's a fact that they are more likely to be influenced by evil ideologies like feminism.
                  Feminism is in Saudi and definitely in Bangladesh and Pakistan amongst other countries,

                  All of the Muslim majority nations are secular
                  http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                  "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

                  – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    just focus on finding someone who is good where ever they may be from, sorted m8

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Walaykum salam,

                      Seems to me like you need to sit with different people cos' a fair bit of that attitude stems from prejudice. Bear in mind that you were raised in the west too, so any risks of being corrupted and tainted by this society are just as applicable to you as they are to any potential sister raised here. If you got through that without succumbing to fitnah and temptations, then go and look for a girl who has done the same. I'm not in denial here. Sisters make up half the population and are a very diverse group so you can't just lump them all into one category as that attitude can only stem from prejudice, negative stereotyping and a different form of denial (ie refusal to accept that there is good in sisters as well). I know there are sisters in this country who have embraced concepts that are contrary to Islam, even if they do wear the headscarf and pray and that has influenced them in a negative way. Then there are other sisters in this country who are nothing like that, who come from good families and are raised well (and some carry good values even if they haven't been raised well). To deny them a chance of marriage solely on the basis that they grew up the same way you did is kinda hypocritical. Would you want your own sister or your own daughter to be denied even a chance because of such prejudices?

                      Then there's the flip side of that coin: marrying back home (wherever that is). I know many sisters who were raised back home and married guys here so are living in England now. Some of them have great marriages and are well settled here with their kids. Then there are women who were raised back home who come here and get up to all sorts of mischief. There are some who had boyfriends back in Pakistan, even in the village or they come here and have affairs sometimes with married men. So the risk of marrying someone disrespectful or crossing all limits of good behaviour could happen if you married someone back home too. It's not like Pakistan is some bastion of virtue lol. The place is riddled with red light districts, underground gay culture and people addicted to drugs, so it's not like your potential wife grew up without any doors to temptation in her path over there.

                      Marriage has no guarantees. If you want a guarantee, get a toaster. Your purpose in this life is to seek the pleasure of Allah (swT), always put that at the forefront of your marriage search, no matter which country you search in. Put selfishness to one side. She doesn't have to be of such and such height and complexion, she doesn't have to be from your tribe or your village, but she does need to uphold good values and sometimes the one with good values, isn't necessarily the one who can cook, isn't necessarily the one who keeps quiet and avoids arguing. She's the one who stands up for what is right, even if doing so isn't to her benefit. Support her in being that way and you'll be fine inshaAllah. Pray istikhara and leave the rest in Allah's (swt) hands. Also beware of lip service. Beware of someone who just says yes to everything just so you agree to marry and then it turns out she only wanted your passport.
                      The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I think they say it because western women know their islamic rights but they would rather you marry someone from backhome who doesn't know her islamic rights and will just put up and shut up because the culture asks her to.

                        Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I've witnesses several good brothers get corrupted by marrying women from the West. Their attitude and behavior changes as well as their dedication to the Deen. The ruling on marrying women from countries at war with Muslims is that it is Makruh. However, the case with many women from the West and those who have corrupt beliefs and understandings about Islam, is that they should not be taken as wives.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Brother, you are right there is good and bad everywhere. Judge on what you can see and hear and don't make assumptions. Ask questions. Don't be fooled by someone's dress. People can wear a good mask.

                            Don't leave this decision to chance either.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by AbuNajm View Post
                              I've witnesses several good brothers get corrupted by marrying women from the West. Their attitude and behavior changes as well as their dedication to the Deen. The ruling on marrying women from countries at war with Muslims is that it is Makruh. However, the case with many women from the West and those who have corrupt beliefs and understandings about Islam, is that they should not be taken as wives.
                              It's makrooh to marry Muslim women from the west?

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X