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  • #16
    Thank you for your understanding. That last person really shook me if I'm honest. The week i stayed in that place in a Muslim majority country i saw just as much if not more haram then in the UK. I felt lost. Azaan would cry out from every corner at the appropriate times but islam hadn't penetrated the hearts of men and women.

    I am not one of weak resolve but Allah knows i have been tested. In my life i never felt as much like my imaan was leaving me as i did that day. We live surrounded by kuffar everyday yet i never felt an attack on my imaan like i did when i was surrounded by muslims. A weaker man would perhaps had succmob to such temptation. But that night only one thing occupied my mind. If i engage in such haram what will i tell my children if I'm blessed with any? How will i guide them when they suffer the same trials?

    I remember when i first arrived and i said i forgot to bring along a prayer mat. I remember walking to the nearest large town and struggling to find one. But i remain steadfast in my trust in Allah. For i shall persevere and inshallah I'll be guided to the right people.

    I think perhaps my parents know better than me. They know what i seek is perhaps just a pearl in an ocean. They just want my happiness. Very few people know just how much i cared for those around me. How much i sacrificed for the happiness of others. And such sacrifices I was honoured to make. Inshallah they will count in my favour on the day of judgment.

    ​​​​​
    ​​​​​

    Comment


    • #17
      Brother i dunno what u been doing
      maybe ur not looking the right way or your criteria is too strict but theres still many practising sisters irl and online

      if u look for

      Always prays salah
      No free mixing
      niqaabi/jilbaabi
      u dont care abour race,tribe, skin color,education level
      your not too fussy with age height and looks you can find potentials no problem

      Go to masjid regularly start praying more ajr and make duas first of all
      also check masjid marriage events or ask imams
      Make religious friends and they will help u
      Last edited by Abu julaybeeb; 18-05-18, 05:07 PM.

      Comment


      • #18
        What will make things abit harder is if you look at their manhaj

        Comment


        • #19
          Thank you for suggestions. I think it will be difficult but i think I'll need to expand my search. Maybe I'm just too judgemental and expect too much. Inshallah everything will work out good.

          Comment


          • #20
            Originally posted by Sultan786 View Post

            Brother for me its a more complicated issue too. I'm a kind hearted individual by nature and i think it bad if i openly tell the faults of someone to their parents. I am certainly not strong enough of imaan that i can guide another aside from myself.

            I certainly tried that approach recently. I thought perhaps my better nature could rub off on someone. It didn't work. Many times i think Allah perhaps is just testing my imaan. Will i give up his law and commands for the sake of persuing my desires. Thus far i have been protected.
            ​​​​​​
            You don't have tell the parents of the sister,

            Just tell your parents why you rejected her,

            Its one thing being kind hearted and another being gullible

            You dont want to be the latter

            جزاك الله خيرا
            http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

            "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

            – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

            Comment


            • #21
              Yep, protect yourself and don't tell people in real life about your good actions, in case of riyaa and arrogance.

              Like I said before, none of us are immune from the saitans whispers and as you know, fitnah is in front of us.

              We're blessed to be Muslims, it's a gift. We just need to take it seriously.

              I suppose I'm in the mood to give a speech. Have to let it out, it's how I feel even though I have a lot of shortcomings.

              It feels like it is getting worse, the likes of fornicators, zaanis, adulterers, gamblers, drug addicts etc in the west....these muslims don't treat women right, they don't respect them. Yet they disapprove of what is going on with our sisters abroad.

              This is why our sisters are getting raped, tortured, oppressed, violated in every way. Because the Muslims have no dignity. No gheerah for their womenfolk. The 'what if it was your mum or sister' remarks don't cause any dents because they don't even respect their own mums and sisters


              Always remember when Satan appears in front of you in the disguise of a woman, don't go near it's filthy seduction.

              Don't go near zina. Muslims have gone near zina and they have brought wrath upon themselves and this why we are an embarrasment and we are getting humiliated.

              Respect every woman, before you realise you lost your self respect and start crying.

              This should go in the divorce thread. Our 'men' are 'indulging' with prostitutes, they complain women are not homely. They complain women are too career minded, too educated, too powerful, they complain women are the ones to blame for societies distraction.

              Well maybe if the men of this ummah weren't dayooths then we would not be in such a mess. Maybe they should start using their heads more than their desires.

              Obviously I am not talking about all men. This should not offend anyone, if it does offened you then you should question yourself. And let me know.

              If the men are responsible, so will be their womenfolk. But if the men, who are supposed to be our walis and guardians, who don't take their role as the leaders seriously, it is their fault.

              They should have been our role models.



              'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

              So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

              Comment


              • #22
                Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                Yep, protect yourself and don't tell people in real life about your good actions, in case of riyaa and arrogance.

                Like I said before, none of us are immune from the saitans whispers and as you know, fitnah is in front of us.

                We're blessed to be Muslims, it's a gift. We just need to take it seriously.

                I suppose I'm in the mood to give a speech. Have to let it out, it's how I feel even though I have a lot of shortcomings.

                It feels like it is getting worse, the likes of fornicators, zaanis, adulterers, gamblers, drug addicts etc in the west....these muslims don't treat women right, they don't respect them. Yet they disapprove of what is going on with our sisters abroad.

                This is why our sisters are getting raped, tortured, oppressed, violated in every way. Because the Muslims have no dignity. No gheerah for their womenfolk. The 'what if it was your mum or sister' remarks don't cause any dents because they don't even respect their own mums and sisters


                Always remember when Satan appears in front of you in the disguise of a woman, don't go near it's filthy seduction.

                Don't go near zina. Muslims have gone near zina and they have brought wrath upon themselves and this why we are an embarrasment and we are getting humiliated.

                Respect every woman, before you realise you lost your self respect and start crying.

                This should go in the divorce thread. Our 'men' are 'indulging' with prostitutes, they complain women are not homely. They complain women are too career minded, too educated, too powerful, they complain women are the ones to blame for societies distraction.

                Well maybe if the men of this ummah weren't dayooths then we would not be in such a mess. Maybe they should start using their heads more than their desires.

                Obviously I am not talking about all men. This should not offend anyone, if it does offened you then you should question yourself. And let me know.

                If the men are responsible, so will be their womenfolk. But if the men, who are supposed to be our walis and guardians, who don't take their role as the leaders seriously, it is their fault.

                They should have been our role models.


                If im being honest brothers and sisters are both to blame
                our sins are to blame
                we get punished because of this
                just like im the battle of uhud sahaba didnt listen to the prophet they didnt stay on the mountain they went to get the ghaneema (war booty) what hapoened 55 out of 70 or 73 got killed
                look at the ummah today and what we all do boys and girls government rulers countries this is why the ummah is getting destroyed

                and when sisters are being abused and muslims are being killed around the world and muslims go fight to help them these muslims they are called all soughts of names even by their own community from crazy to mental to extremist and so on


                1 women got harrassed by a jew and a sahaba killed him

                1 women was imprisomed and the khalifa mu'tasim went with his army and took out the romans

                Some sisters were taken as slaves and muhammed bin qasim.and 30000 invaded india


                now a muslim does anything they are called khawarij and crazy
                Last edited by Abu julaybeeb; 18-05-18, 11:19 PM.

                Comment


                • #23
                  But jazakAllah khair yasin
                  your right men have lost gheera
                  and our sins have drowned us
                  we all need to fix up
                  may Allah forgive us and allow us to bring honour back to the religipm
                  (reminder to my self )

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Maybe someone who's attended one of (traditional) madaris here..?

                    If you can marry back home and visit often enough...?
                    Especially if she has relatives here already, with things like Skype and video calling... It's not as bad as it was for young women marrying then moving over to this country

                    (?)
                    LAA ILAAHA ILLALLAH
                    -------------------------------
                    "And if you would count the graces of God, never could you be able to count them. Truly, God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Qur'aan 16:18)
                    NOTE: Please kindly do NOT rep my posts. (Jazaa'akumullah).

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Originally posted by Sultan786 View Post
                      Thank you for your understanding. That last person really shook me if I'm honest. The week i stayed in that place in a Muslim majority country i saw just as much if not more haram then in the UK. I felt lost. Azaan would cry out from every corner at the appropriate times but islam hadn't penetrated the hearts of men and women.

                      I am not one of weak resolve but Allah knows i have been tested. In my life i never felt as much like my imaan was leaving me as i did that day. We live surrounded by kuffar everyday yet i never felt an attack on my imaan like i did when i was surrounded by muslims. A weaker man would perhaps had succmob to such temptation. But that night only one thing occupied my mind. If i engage in such haram what will i tell my children if I'm blessed with any? How will i guide them when they suffer the same trials?

                      I remember when i first arrived and i said i forgot to bring along a prayer mat. I remember walking to the nearest large town and struggling to find one. But i remain steadfast in my trust in Allah. For i shall persevere and inshallah I'll be guided to the right people.

                      I think perhaps my parents know better than me. They know what i seek is perhaps just a pearl in an ocean. They just want my happiness. Very few people know just how much i cared for those around me. How much i sacrificed for the happiness of others. And such sacrifices I was honoured to make. Inshallah they will count in my favour on the day of judgment.

                      ​​​​​
                      ​​​​​
                      This is actually really disturbing to read (especially in Ramadhan). You went all the way to a different country with the intention of marrying a pious Muslimah, and it turned out she just wanted to engage in haraam?

                      There are no words.

                      May Allaah keep you firm. Aameen.



                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Originally posted by Indefinable View Post

                        This is actually really disturbing to read (especially in Ramadhan). You went all the way to a different country with the intention of marrying a pious Muslimah, and it turned out she just wanted to engage in haraam?

                        There are no words.

                        May Allaah keep you firm. Aameen.


                        It really shook me to be honest. To this day I still think it may have been a test from Allah. I won't go into too many details here as its indecent but this muslimah was incredibly beautiful too. On that night she even asked me for the prayer mat so she could pray asr. Suffice to say i have never prayed with so much gratitude as i do now.

                        On the other hand i think she may have influenced by someone to behave that way. Maybe she was worried I'd visit once and never return to marry? Only Allah knows.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Originally posted by Sultan786 View Post

                          It really shook me to be honest. To this day I still think it may have been a test from Allah. I won't go into too many details here as its indecent but this muslimah was incredibly beautiful too. On that night she even asked me for the prayer mat so she could pray asr. Suffice to say i have never prayed with so much gratitude as i do now.

                          On the other hand i think she may have influenced by someone to behave that way. Maybe she was worried I'd visit once and never return to marry? Only Allah knows.
                          If shes cool with meeting without a mehram thats a red flag

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
                            Brother i dunno what u been doing
                            maybe ur not looking the right way or your criteria is too strict but theres still many practising sisters irl and online

                            if u look for

                            Always prays salah
                            No free mixing
                            niqaabi/jilbaabi
                            u dont care abour race,tribe, skin color,education level
                            your not too fussy with age height and looks you can find potentials no problem

                            Go to masjid regularly start praying more ajr and make duas first of all
                            also check masjid marriage events or ask imams
                            Make religious friends and they will help u
                            Help the brother out.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Originally posted by Indefinable View Post

                              Help the brother out.
                              How am i suppose to help him lol
                              I told him what i would do

                              You sisters should help him you guys should have connections and know sisters looking to get married
                              ​​​​

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

                                If shes cool with meeting without a mehram thats a red flag
                                That's true

                                Never meet a girl alone

                                Take your sister or mum with you especially if she doesn't have a wali
                                shame about Indonesia, it being a Muslim country I thought it would be a nice environment for Muslims

                                When Muslims do questionable things others get influenced

                                It's like a domino effect

                                If a sister wears tight clothing, the other sister might think, why can't I do that? It will become more tempting for her

                                If a brother hangs out with girls, another brother might think I wish I could hang around with those pretty girls.
                                Likewise the temptation will increase

                                If we are practicing together, we're stronger in iman together so the temptations become less appealing because our connection with religion is there.

                                If people were like this in Muslim countries then things would be decent, instead they are a fitnah for one another.

                                Correct me if I'm wrong but there is a Hadith where our nabi saw said if you want to be shameless and don't take heed,
                                THEN DO WHAT YOU WANT.


                                ​​​​

                                ​​​​​​
                                'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                                So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                                Comment

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