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I am a revert, Can I choose my wali when I'm ready to get married?

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  • #31
    I think it's a good idea to start taking into consideration your choice of wali. Whilst you've come across some horror stories about convert marriages, the silver lining is that at least forewarned is forearmed, so that reduces the likelihood of you falling for the usual traps of getting married too soon, or for the wrong reasons, or getting duped by a passport monger or a bad wali who is superficially seen as a "pillar of the community". Abu Mubarak's advice on avoiding private interaction with a wali is very good.

    At least this means you know it's not a good idea to rush into such matters whilst you're still at an early stage of a steep learning curve. Take your time, nothing has to be decided in a hurry. Get to know your community well enough to get an idea of what people are like and take it from there. Niqab is not obligatory in Islam, but people choose to wear it in order to emulate the family of the Prophet (saw). Wearing the headscarf and jilbab/abaya is obligatory and the norms of modern society should not really have anything to do with whether you intend to wear it or not.
    Last edited by neelu; 16-05-18, 04:35 PM.
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